Panicked Wallflowers

Chapter 35

Melody's POV
As I reach the house I take a deep breath. Breathing in all the strangled emotions clouding my brain, and trying to let them go. The only problem is every time I breathe in, I take in those recently discarded emotions. I let them slowly choke me, until I'm gasping for air and clawing at the door. My heart slows as my breath starts to even out. I look down at the outfit that is now slightly disheveled. A black cropped tank top hugs my body covered by a aged Mickey Mouse leather jacket. Black shorts end in ripped fringes along the seam and Minnie ears hold my hair back in a high ponytail. Black converse complete the outfit and a choker holds onto my neck.

I walk toward the door to Brayden's house only to slow when I think about Logan the other side of that door. There is one thing that dominates my thoughts: why? Why did Logan not stick up for me? Why did Logan go to Brayden's house instead of ours? Why hasn't he called? I know what y'all are thinking. Clingy much? I know it's only been a day, but it was weird not talking to him as I went to bed last night. It was weird for things to be back to the way they were before he walked back into my life. All in all, it was weird.
My walk to the door feels like centuries of torture. Imagining what's on the other side fills me with a sense of brokenness.
A poem that I had read breaks my thoughts and pushes it's way to attention.
They witnessed her destruction,
Then were left to wonder why,
She saw nothing but darkness,
Though the stars shone in her eyes,
But maybe they'd forgotten,
When the failed to see the cracks,
That a star's light shines the brightest,
When it's starting to collapse.
       ~e.h
I don't even remember why the poem stuck with me for so long, having read it years ago. But, it did always reminds me that I can still be a shining star when I'm breaking down. But there's one problem with that.

I already collapsed.

A star is gone, whipped from existence, when it breaks down completely. Yet, I feel like I came back stronger than ever.
My hand reaches for the ice cold door knob and push.

I smile and make small talk, trying to keep myself from breaking. You see, I hadn't realised how much having Logan in the house helped me. Seeing him here is pushing me over the edge. Logan notices my strange behavior so when the party starts he tugs on my arm and we end up on the stairs.

"You okay?" He asks as he pushes some hair behind my ear.

"No," one final push sends me falling off the cliff's edge. Before I even realise it I'm sobbing quietly. Logan pulls me against his chest which effectively starts calming me. "When did my life get so messed up?" I whisper.

"I don't know," he whispers back. My tears eventually stop and he kisses me on my forehead. "Do you feel ready to go back?" His voice is calm but is hiding things, I can tell. I don't push though.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," I say finally pushing off the wall and slowly getting back to the party raging  steps away. A voice in my head screams for me to question him about staying with Bae, but the rest of my head trusts Logan. 

When we get back to the party I realize Bae isn't there but I don't think to much about it. Logan and I dance all night and laugh at each other's horrible moves. The smile never leaves my face and he never leaves my side.

-_-_-_-_-LNBRK-_-_-_-_-_-

When everyone leaves and it's just me Logan and Bae I have a small sense of euphoria. Logan instantly wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me into him while falling on the couch. Bae soon tackles us and we all collapse in a fit of laughs. 

"Who wants to watch a movie?" Logan yells from the bottom of the pile.

"Me!" Both me and Bailey squeal. Somehow Supernatural, which we are aware is not a movie, winds up playing. Around the time Dean dies for the fifty millionth time I fall asleep with my head resting on Logan's chest, listening to the sound of his steady heart beat.