Omegle.com // SM

21

It isn't the same. We're not as loving, affectionate, we aren't enjoying each other's company. But it doesn't hurt too much, we weren't together for that long. It wasn't like I was in love, it wasn't like we were in love. What I did hurts. But I don't know why I know me and Shawn are slipping away but I'm not caring too much.

I haven't even seen Shawn in 5 days, doesn't seem like a lot, but before what I did this would of seemed like a thousand years. But I'm enjoying the alone time. It gives me time to think, but sometimes I over think so that may not be too good. I'm not too sure what to do with myself.

I need to get up and do something. Okay, yeah, I'm gonna do something. Shopping, shopping will be fun. Hopefully. But I'm not gonna change, these sweatpants and crop top is too comfortable.

I slip my feet into some flip flops. Gosh, don't I look hot. My hair is in its natural crazy curly state, and I have no makeup on. I could honestly care less at the moment, I'm just doing something besides watching Netflix and eating food.

Where am I going? I didn't even think about that. I'm driving a car and I haven't even decided where I'm going. Alright. I'm just gonna go to the mall, I'm to basic for anything else. But I'm broke so not like I'm gonna buy any shit.

I watch as all these girls in cute cloths walk around with their friends or significance other. It's not fair. Maybe if I didn't fuck up I could be like that. Oh well.
A sudden urge to go into JcPenny sweeps over me. I rarely go shop at that store, much less shop. But I want to for some reason so I will.

My hands push through racks of clothes, clothes I know I can't afford. Yeah, it's not that expensive, but I'm broke. "Do you need any help?" I snap my head to the left in the direction of the voice.

My heart drops to the out of my stomach. There stands a boy with the most beautiful smile and bright blue eyes. He has messy brown hair and short brown facial hair. He's looks older then me, but maybe not much.

"Oh um, no, in fine. Thank you." He smiles even more, but says something else, "you would look great in that." I look down at the red dress I'm holding, I do like it, but it's too much. "Oh, this? I would look bad in it, trust me." I laugh. He just laughs along with me, "try it on." I nod and walk towards the dressing rooms. He follows close behind me, and I can feel his eyes on the back of me.

Why am I doing this, I don't even know his name. "Wait," I turn around, "I don't even know you." He nods, "I'm Noah Jones, and you are?" He's so confident in himself. "I'm Josie." I don't bother to say my last name.

"Okay, I'm 20 years old," he says. I stop myself from my eyes going wide, "I'm 17." He coughs, he probably thought I was older. I know I don't look my age. "Well Ms. Josie, you're a very pretty girl. And I was wondering if you could try that lovely dress on so I can tell you how great you look in it."
I can feel my face get hot and turn red. I just smile and turn around and continue to walk to the dressing rooms.

***

I stare at myself in the mirror. I look decent, but he'll probably think I look like a train wreck. He probably thought that about my first outfit.

My hand connects with the door knob and I twist, then push the door open. He looks up from his phone and his eyes travel up and down. Noah's elbow balances on his thigh, and his head is resting on his hand, and slightly tilted. "Stunning," he says.

I blush.

"I mean, it's okay," I mumble. He shakes his head. "You look beautiful, and I'll buy it for you. No arguing." "But-" "what did I say?" I didn't know how to react to this. I barely know this guy, and he's buying stuff for me.

-

I walk out of the store with a bag filled with a beautiful red dress hanging from my arm. I can't get Noah out of my mind, there's something about him. He's different, I can tell.

But my mind is also on Shawn, mainly because he texted me in the middle of checking out. He wants me to meet him at the coffee shop, which is outside right next to the Jc Penny.

I'm nervous. I know I said that my feelings had gone away, but when I think about it being over with him, I feel sick to my stomach. Me and Shawn aren't that serious, but it's like he's a magnet or some shit. He's pretty much anything I want in a guy, and I ruined it.

It's like with my Dad, he was perfect. The best Dad I could've ever had, and I ruined it.

Slowly, I walk to the coffee shop. I see Shawn sitting inside look down at his fingers. His bottom lip captured between his teeth. His eye brows are knitted together, almost in a confused look. He's thinking, thinking about something important. He's trying to figure out the answer to something. I'm surprised there isn't a girl next to him asking for a picture.

As I open the door, Shawn's head snaps up. He lets out a breath, and waits for me to come and sit down. And I do so. And as soon as I do he says, "we need to talk."

I feel my heart drop to the pit of my stomach. My lips part slightly, and I know my face looks scared. I'm not ready for this. I don't want to know what's going to happen. I zone out while he talks, all I can think about is losing him. But, in a way, I already have. Because of the stupid shit I've done.

"It's over."