What If?

Remedy

Even though I'm dreading seeing Timothy in school today, I have something to look forward to and get me through the day. Dance class starts today. I've been anxiously awaiting this day. This is my tenth year going to In Sync Dance Academy. Dancing helps me escape from the real world, escape from my problems. And it sure doesn't hurt that I have an absolute angel for a dance teacher. Mrs. Nancy is one of the sweetest, kindest, most dependable women I know. She's always there for me no matter what.

So I keep those thoughts in my mind as I walk into the science classroom.
I spot Timothy in the back so I sit towards the front. Hopefully he doesn't see me.

He did.

"Hey Ellie. I was wondering if we could talk about yesterday? I think we need to."
He says as he walk up and leans one hand on my desk.

I busy myself with pulling out my books and sharpening a pencil.
"Sorry. Class is about to start. And I don't really want to."

"Well what about after school?"
He says sounding desperate.

I look up at him this time.
"I have dance class. Sorry."

He looks so disappointed. I honestly hate doing this to him. But I just can't stand to be hurt again.
"Ok. Sorry to disturb you."
He walks away sorrowfully.

Ugh. Why am I doing this? To myself and him. Why am I torturing both of us? Of course I'm still hurt that he would do something like he did, but I value our friendship so much. Maybe I should just put my anxieties and my hurting behind me. At least just cover them up. Like I always do.

After school ends I search the halls for Timothy. I need to make up to him. I finally spot him just as he walks through the door. I race to catch up to him.

"Timothy wait!"
I call out to him.

He turns around and sees me running up to him. He then turns and keeps walking out the door.
I finally catch up with him and walk around to where I'm blocking his path.

"I thought you didn't want to talk?"
He tries to go around me but I move my position. Anytime he moves I move with him.

"Listen, please."
I say.

He laughs.
"Like you did for me?"

I sigh and look down at my smudged, red converse.
"I'm so sorry. I really am. I just couldn't stand the thought of being hurt again. I know it was wrong. But could we maybe be friends again? Just go back to normal like nothing ever happened?"

"You really want to ignore what happened? Pretend that it never did? How could I just forget that?"

"I know. I won't be able to forget it either."

There's a long pastime of silence.

I finally break it.
"What happened to us? We used to be the best of friends. Now it seems like we're drifting apart. And every time we get closer I do something to mess it up."

"Ellie, it's not your fault. Don't blame yourself. When did this even start happening? Us drifting apart?"

I look back up at him. I know very well when it started. It started with Monica. But I don't tell him that.
"I don't know."

"Well how about we just become close again. Be best friends again. No matter what."

I smile at him.
"Sounds good."

He looks down to read a text he just received.
"Hey I have to go. Monica wants me."

"Why?"

"She just wants to hang out."

"What would happen if you told her you had other plans?"
Probably nothing good.

"I don't know. I've tried not to do that."
He says while scratching the back of his neck. A nervous habit of his.

"Does she make you happy? It's none of my business, but she seems pretty demanding."
I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah.. I mean- well- yeah."
He shrugs.

"Ok then. I'll see you later!"
"You're lying." I think to myself.

I wave goodbye and go back into the school to get Nate so we can leave. When I walk through the doors I search the crowd until my eyes land in Nate... Talking to a girl. I look closely and see that it's Jenna West. She's pretty, popular and is a lead cheerleader.

They're both laughing and talking, getting along nicely. It makes me smile. Nate deserves someone to make him happy. I wonder if he'll ask her out?

"Ellie!"
I jump and turn around and see Katherine right behind me and Kadence walking up.

"Gosh Kat, you nearly gave me a heart attack."
I gasp.

She laughs at me. We all love scaring each other, even if it's not intentional.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to ride to dance with us?"

"Sure! Could we stop by my house first? I need to get my bag."
I ask.

"Sure! Well we need to leave now so let's get going."
She takes my arm in here and leads us towards the door.

"Wait! I need to tell Nate first. You go out to the car and I'll catch up."

"Ok."

I walk quickly over to Nate and tap his shoulder. He turns to look at me.

"Kat and Kade are taking me to dance."

"Oh, ok then. See ya later."

I wave.
"See you later tonight. Bye Jenna."

She waves at me.

As soon as I'm behind Jenna's back I look at Nate and flash him a big smile and give him a thumbs up. He replies with a scowl and a jerking of his head telling me to leave now.

I chuckle and head outside and get in Kat and Kade's car. I don't tell them about Timothy kissing me because I know they'll freak out and be very loud about it. But I promise to tell them later. For now, I'll focus on one of the greatest things possibly ever invented-dance.

HELLOOOOO!!!!! Long time no write! Sorry I've been inactive lately. I've been with my cousins since Wednesday for thanksgiving so I've been busy. I write to you from the car on the 4 hour long trip home. FUN! It's giving me a chance to write this tho so I can't complain.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday!!!!

PEACEOUT GIRLSCOUT!!!✌🏼️