What If?

End It

I open my eyes and sit up as I awake the next day and my book tumbles off my chest and onto the floor. I don't even remember falling asleep. I look at the clock on my nightstand. It says it's four o'clock. Way too early.

I get off my bed to pick up my book and find where I left off then I put a magnetic, navy blue elephant bookmark in between the pages and set it on my nightstand. Then I pull the covers back over me and I try to go back to sleep.

That doesn't go so well.

I lay there with my eyes closed, but with no sleep coming. I open my eyes and check the clock every what seems like thirty minutes, but in actuality is every five minutes. Eventually, at four thirty, I give up and grudgingly get out of bed.

I go to my closet to pick some clothes out. I decide on black leggings and a long sleeve maroon shirt with an elephant on the front pocket.

It's only four fifty when I finish dressing myself. I'm not particularly hungry right now so I decide to try out the water colors Nate gave me.

I decide on a simple watermelon slice. I try and really take my time to concentrate on every brush stroke and with mixing the right amount of water and paint.

After finishing the last little seed, I sit back and admire my work. (See pic above) I think it looks alright. I move it out of the way, though because if I stare at it for too long, I'll begin to hate it.

I look back to the clock and see that it's 5:30. I sigh as I stand up.

"Might as well get going now. Why the heck did I wake up this early?!"
I say out loud to myself.

Quietly I walk downstairs and into the kitchen expecting it to be deserted, but instead I find Nate sitting at the table with a glass of water next to him.

"Nate?"
He lifts his head up to see me.

"Hey. What are you doing up this early?"
I ask.

"I could ask the same of you."
He replies taking a sip of water from his glass.

"I don't know. I just woke up and couldn't sleep. Your turn."
I shrug and open the fridge I search of food.

"Same as you. I just couldn't sleep."

I pull out a strawberry-banana juice and set it on the counter along with a banana.

"Do you want anything to eat?"
I ask.

"No I'm good."

I look at him with my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Really? Nate what's up? You're always hungry."

"Nothing. I'm just not hungry right now."
He replies defensively.

I pour my juice in a glass, grab my banana, and sit down at the table across from him.

"Are you worried about the CAT scan?"
I ask.

"No. Nothing's wrong with me."

"I didn't say anything was. It's okay to be scared."
I tell him.

"I'm not scared. Geez."
He stands up from the table scooting his chair away.

"Nate."
I say surprised.
"Chill out. I didn't mean to offend you."

He stares at me for a moment. His eyes look conflicted as if part of him wants to walk away and another wants to stay.

"Sorry."
He says finally looking away from me.

"It's okay."
I say. I'm very taken aback. He's been so on edge lately.

"Um, mom wanted me to tell you that we're having thanksgiving a day late. She has to work the day of."
He says scratching his neck.