What If?

Fire

"How did it even happen?"
I ask mom as we drive through the slow traffic, trying to reach our house.

"I don't know. Nate gave me a call and told me all he knew, which was he smelled smoke so he came downstairs and saw the kitchen engulfed in flames, then ran out as fast as he could. He also said the firemen were there and were putting the fire out as he spoke."
She says obviously distressed.
"Oh come on! Move it!"
She yells at the cars in front of her that are moving 20 miles an hour.

"It's okay mom. Maybe some of the house is still salvageable?"
I say trying, and failing, to keep uncertainty out of my voice. From what she's told me, the damage was pretty bad.

She doesn't say anything, just continues to grip the steering wheel so hard her knuckles turn white.

"Mom."
I say.

She doesn't answer. Her eyes are flicking all around our surroundings as if she expects another fire to spring up out of nowhere. We're moving at a snails pace. The traffic is ridiculous.

"Momma listen to me."
I say in a more demanding, but gentle voice.

She squeezes her eyes shut for a moment and then finally looks over at me.

"There's no point stressing about it."
I start.

"But our house just!-"

I cut her off.
"I know mom. I'm not saying it's not scary, because it is. I'm scared out of my mind. But we'll get through this. I know we will. If we stress and panic it's gonna make it all worse. Our family is the strongest family I've ever known. We've been through so much. We'll get through this too."

She looks at the roof of our car and blinks rapidly, attempting to fight off tears that are nonetheless streaming down her face.

"Oh Ellie. When did you get so mature? Why did you have to grow up on me?"
She says with a small smile.

I smile and take her hand in mine.
"We got this."

She squeezes my hand back and nods assuring herself.
"We got this."

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

"Nate!"
My mom yells as she runs across our lawn and wraps her arms around him as tight as they would go.
"I'm so glad you're safe."

She pulls back to look at his slightly smoky face.
"Are you hurt? Can you breathe alright?"

He smiles and nods his head.
"I'm fine mom, I promise. The smoke barely got to me."

I slowly walk up behind. I'm still looking at what used to be our house. The brick still stands, though slightly darker than before. But it's the roof that catches my eye. Where there are no collapsed holes, it is black as night. The front porch isn't even recognizable anymore. I can't see any flames, so they must have doused them. I can barely breathe. I inhale bigger breathes quickly until I force myself to look away and down at the grass.

"Ell."
I jump slightly as I hear a voice next to me, but I calm down once I see Nate's face. I stand up straight and give a small smile.

"Hey there. You okay?"
I say in a strong voice hiding my fear. My fear of what is to come, of what we'll do next.

"I'm alright."
He says. Then he raises an eyebrow and tilts his head.
"Are you?"

I shake my head.
"I'm perfectly fine. Why would I not be?"

He looks at me for a moment longer. I can tell he's reading my mind. He can see right through any of my lies. But he says nothing, just looks away and I look down at my shoes.