a little collection

3

we're kids. i begin to sing loudly in our treehouse, belting out Maroon 5 and Hot Chelle Ray as you dance next to me, and as i nearly fall, you grab my hand to catch me. even back then, i ignored those little tingles.

we're in middle school. you begin to grow, and i become shyer, and you're my only friend. but i join the school play anyway, with your urging. i nearly pass out from fear while uttering those few lyrics, but i ended up getting the lead. i made new friends, but you were the only one i needed.

we're in eighth grade. i've stopped liking music, because my grandfather died, and it wouldn't be right to play if he couldn't be there to watch. you hold my hand at the funeral, crying with me. as they lowered his coffin into the ground on that gloomy day, i shut my eyes and buried my face into your chest. you were there.

we're in high school. we became separated due to different classes, but we still had lunch, and a few classes here and there. i made more friends, and so did you.  we ended up not talking for a long time. i saw you develop more as a person, and you became more of the boy i know now. you became smarter, more built, more genuine. and when we became friends again, you taught me a lot. you taught me love, you taught me life, you even had me get back into music.

we're seniors in high school. i've fallen for you, and i could tell you've fallen for me. when you kissed me at the piano that winters morning, i felt something. deep in me. i didn't want it to end. but you thought it was a mistake. but i knew. i knew you've wanted to do that since we were kids.

we've graduated. i've fallen in love with you, but you have someone else. someone you put your lips on, someone you've probably snuggled with while watching your favourite movie, just as we had. the ceremony was bittersweet. i smiled and took the pictures, but i was hurting. but i knew i was going to go to ontario, but there was still a long time away.

it's the end of summer. you were showing signs again. placing your pinky on mine, and holding me longer. i'm leaving for ontario, and i'm heartbroken that i never got you. but i couldn't leave with that. so i did something i would never imagine doing. i kissed you, right in front of her. and god did it feel good. i left, and i was hurting again. i didn't want to leave you. but you followed me. you followed me to that old motel, and you didn't give up on me. you kissed me, a real kiss, and it felt free, i told you that i love you for the first time.

now, we're in ontario. i hold you in my arms, sobbing into your hair as the life slowly drains from you. i don't know why you ran out so fast. i should've stopped you. i didn't see that drunk driver until i heard the screech of the tires. i've never screamed like that. i'm saying your name, over and over. i'm trying to keep you awake, but you're saying your tired. you're staying awake though, because you know it'll make me happy and you're strong like that. the sirens grow louder, and i sob harder.

i won't know what our future will hold. but i know for a fact that it'll be with you.