a little collection

30

*continued from last chapter*

"hey, this is connor, leave a message after the beep."

Hey Connor. I'm sure it's weird that you're getting this message from me, considering it's been how long, two weeks? But I'm still thinking about what you said. When we were in the woods at the party.

Whatever we had in that treehouse wasn't just a drunken kiss. That second drunken kiss wasn't just that, either. I was just scared. I had a moment of weakness, knowing how much I had a crush on you before, but I know that this is more than a silly crush.

Something about the feeling of your lips on mine, how carefully you touched me, as if I were the most delicate flower. It....it left this feeling in me. Almost like a drug. I wanted to have more of that, I wanted to see you more.

Of course, you've been in a relationship forever, so obviously we couldn't go more than that, it was already bad that we had done that in the first place. But..it felt so good. Being me, of course, I thought it was just the alcohol doing it, trying to grasp at every reason not to feel good about kissing you.

But it's always been you. I never felt attracted to anyone else since my crush on you, which of course means that my feelings for you never died. It means that if I have to wait for you to officially have you, I'm willing to do that. I'll wait days, weeks, even months.

Right now, all I wish is to be able to kiss you, without being wasted, or on some kind of alcohol, just to know what it's like to really appreciate your kiss, your touch, just you.

I'm sure you'll rub my nose in it when I say this, because you've been saying "You love me" for years, but now I'm confident in saying it. I don't know why I didn't realise it before.

Connor, I love you. 

Call me back when you get this. See you.