a little collection

32

I walk into Lara's house, calling her name. When I don't get an answer, I jog upstairs and peek into her room, and she sits on her bed, her back faced to me. She wears a large white sweater, and the same black jeans from today.

"Lara?" I ask, reluctantly stepping in.

She looks over her shoulder at me, tears streaming down her face.

"How long was this meant to go on, Cole?" She asks, her voice weak.

"What are you talking about, Lar?"

"Your plan. Were these ten months nothing to you?" I feel my stomach drop.

"Lara, I can-" Like lightning, she's up and in front of me.

"No, no, you don't get to explain yourself with this! This entire relationship was meant to get your ex jealous, wasn't it? This went on for ten fucking months, Cole! I fell in love with you, I let you in, I gave up my V for you, because I trusted you! I heard you talking to Danny in the hall, that's how I found out." She yells, shoving me back.

"I didn't want you to find out or know about this plan this way-"

"Then how the hell was I supposed to find out? Was I ever going to find out?"

"No! I mean, that's how I started this, but I realised how I felt for you became real."

"Cole....how am I supposed to believe you? Now that I know that our entire relationship was bullshit!"

"No, it wasn't! Lara....please just let me explain!" I say, trying to place my hand on her arm. She rips her arm away from me, fury and sadness in her eyes.

"Don't you dare touch me, or try to say my name to make me crack, like you always do! It's not gonna work this time. Just....just get out." She whispers the last part, her voice weak and broken, and she turns away.

"What?" I want nothing more than to have her in my arms, and keep her there.

"Get out of my house, Cole. Maybe now you can get Hanna back." I don't want Hanna back. I want Lara.

"You don't mean tha-"

"Get the fuck out of my house." Her voice shakes, and she's tense. I recognise that, it's a defence motive. She doesn't want me to see her cry.

"Okay." I whisper, and I feel the tears rush to my eyes, and say over my shoulder as I walk away, "I love you, and I want you to know that I'm truly sorry."

Her sobs come as a response, and it breaks me, as I sob on the way home.

My mom greets me when I walk in, but rushes over to me when she sees me crying.

"Cole, baby, what's wrong?" She asks, placing her hands on my wet cheeks.

"Mom....I did a bad thing. I did something so bad and I lost Lara. I didn't want to..." I break down, and she holds me in her arms, whispering consoling words, but they're white noise to me.

The only thing I hear is Lara, her voice on a loop.