a little collection

8

the gentle breeze carried from the sea blows my hair back slightly as the waves roll onto the sand. i sit with my knees drawn up, my hands clasped. i can hear him walking toward me, the sound of his shoes crunching against the washed-up shells behind me.

he sits behind me, his long legs stretched out in a v-position. i instinctively lean back into his firm chest, his arms wrapping around me. he kisses me lightly on top of my head, my black beanie blocking him from kissing my hair. the simple kiss, almost as soft as the breeze of a butterfly, sends strong shivers down my spine.

i hate how he has that sort of effect on me, but yet i love it. he makes me feel safe, and his soft kisses reassure me that he wouldn't hurt me.

i was only half-expecting him to come back. the note i had left on his bed this morning had told him, actually, told him to stay away. he was getting so much crap from others for liking me, and i didn't want to keep hurting him.

and yet, here he his. i couldn't be happier to have him with me, for him to be holding me close like this. i never wanted to leave him, and vice versa. i had left that note because i thought that leaving him would've been for the best. i thought that loving him was like a crime, and he was suffering the consequences.

i wondered what could've happened if he wouldn't have come here, if he decided the same thing i did and didn't come back. i would've been heartbroken, but i would've understood.

and here we are now, sitting in the empty beach in silence, the sounds of the seagulls cry and the crashing waves filling the silence. i feel his arms grow tighter, pulling me in closer.

he places his chin on top of my head. his voice barely above a whisper, he says, "why'd you leave?"

i hesitate, before answering, "i thought that loving you would be a crime. like, if i kept having these feelings, you would keep getting bullied for it. i thought if i left, it would've been for the best. it tore me apart to leave you like that, but...i couldn't live with myself, knowing that you were getting crap for what we have." i shift myself, and i move beside him.

"you do realise that i don't care what they think, right? what i feel for you isn't going to change because of who does and doesn't like you. if someone doesn't like our relationship, then that's fine! it's their opinion. but i love everything i do with you. falling asleep with you, holding your hand, kissing you, holding you, touching you, just you. i love you, toughie. and nothing and no one can change that."

i look into his forest green eyes, and they're filled with emotion, with happiness and undeniable love. it's the way i see my grandparents look at each other.

i tear up, and i say, "i love you too." he wraps me up in his arms, and i smile against his chest.

when he lets go, he gently takes my face in his hands, and he kisses me, and the feeling is euphoric. i kiss him back with every ounce of love i have for him.

i wanted him to come back.