a little collection

5

i stand at my locker, my black sweatshirt roomy and my blue jeans skinny around my small frame. i've already been questioned on my attire, but i don't care. this is what i like, and it's what i wore when i kissed him.

from my locker, i admire him from afar, with his gorgeous scruffly hair. he laughs at something one of his friends says, and his beautiful smile makes me ache. we make eye contact, and i quickly look away.

i think of that night we kissed and confessed our love. how he left me alone, sobbing in heartbreak. just remembering that night brings tears to my eyes, and i pull up my hood to hide my tears. I love him, these feelings I have for him are much stronger than anything i've felt. i feel the first few tears fall, and i bow my head, quickly swiping them away. he's beginning to drive me insane. i want to be with him.

I had built this protective wall around me, filling it with more secrets, keeping to myself in my metaphoric little hole, until he came in like a bomb, breaking down every wall, every barrier I once had. I told him my life, my secrets, he became my everything.

The first time he kissed me, something had ignited in me. It wasn't the cliché "spark" you're apparently supposed to feel. No. It was like endorphins catching fire in my veins, my bones, every nerve ending inside me.

When he was kissing along my collar bone, his lips gentle as a feather, each touch was like a flame igniting to each one. He creates this effect that leaves me wanting more, that leaves me desiring that feeling forever, feeling deprived. he was so scared to love me, because i guess i have a "higher" status around here. and i hate that.

i begin to walk into the flow of students in the hall, and i keep my head down. quicker footsteps echo in the hallway, but i don't bother to turn. a couple shouts here and there echo in the hall, calling someone, but i still don't turn.

an arm grabs me, and i whirl around, my hood flying off. it's him, an unreadable expression on his face. he grabs my face in his hands, and kisses me. right there in front of everyone. i'm not embarrassed. i'm not angry. i'm not sad.

i wrap my arms around his neck, and he does the same with my waist. i can feel people's stares from behind me, but i don't care. i break away to sob in happiness, and smile, and connect again. i love him. i love him so much.

we break away, and touch foreheads, my eyes still closed. i felt the same way i did on the hill. only now, it felt more special, considering how we're in the middle of a crowded hallway.

"i'm not afraid anymore. you matter too much to me. i was going crazy without you." he whispers. i wrap my arms around him, and he holds me.