Learning to live

Learing to live: past

"It's not that I don't want kids Peeta, it's just were young and it hasn't even been a 5 years since the rebellion, Panem is still fragile" I sat up tying my black wavy hair into a bobble.

"Okay" I was kind of glad peeta didn't push the subject further, but i felt kinda bad looking at the sad look he had on his face.

"I want you to come into the woods with me today" I wrapped my arms around peeta's back.

Peeta put his mug if coffee in his other hand to check his watch. "A little after 9"

"God we've been up for hours, it was fun though" I winked at peeta bumping him with my hip walking to the fridge.

"Too much fun" he smiled back.

"Feels warm today, maybe we could take a swim in the lake?" I walked over to the counter pouring milk into my coffee adding sugar. It tasted much nicer than the one I had in 13, a horrible feeling formed in my gut thinking back to that day. District 13 just broke out the coffee after the Capitol bombed us, and it tasted vile. Finnick offered me a sugar cube, just like at the quarter quell, an we both just laughed, the way he sounded exactly the same. In his sharp seductive voice and everybody just looked wondering how we were laughing at a time like this, but it was a happier memory. One of a few I shared with finnick, he became more than an ally more than a friend actually. More like a brother, he was there for me when I didn't have peeta, I was there for him when he didn't have Annie. We helped each other. And like I was willing to die for prim because she's my little sister, he died for me, it really hurts thinking about him. That's why me and peeta help out with Annie and their son Luca as much as we can. She moved her after peeta did, in the victors village I think she likes having us around, we love finnick too and I think it helps her get through the day.

Asif know what I was think peeta wordlessly came over and hugged me, no sqouze me like I was going disappear at any moment.

"Want to bring Luca with us today?" He pulled away asking.

"Yeah" I managed to choke out, Luca was the only real part of finnick we all had left.

"I'm gonna go get a shower" I told peeta.

"Yeah it's alright leave me to clean up the mess in the living room" he rolled his eyes jokingly.

"That's what you're here for my darling" I said before adding "amongst other things"

I left the kitchen walking up stairs to shower, playing my game in my head, repeating every act of kindness I've ever seen somebody do.

"Katniss, peeta hi" Annie looked worn out but relieved to see us like she did most days i don't think she got much sleep.

Peeta spoke first "we was wondering if we could take Luca for the day?"

"But katniss it's your birthday" she looked confused.

"I know but I love spending time with my godson"

"Oh thank you it really would be a big help, come in I just need to get Luca dressed"

Considering Annie never slept and had a crazy 3 year old her house was pretty clean, probably cleaner than ours.

"Johanna rang me yesterday" Annie casually said. We heard bits and bob off Johanna she came to visit when Luca was born, when he was christened and maybe a bout a month ago. She seems to be getting better, her hair has grown back longer than it was before but she won't cut it.

"How is she?"

"She's Johanna" Annie gave a sad laugh before carrying on, "she said she can't handle district 7 anymore, too many bad memories." She paused maybe thinking about why she left district 4. "She's moving to district 2, she got a job" Annie smiled handing peeta Luca an walked out into the kitchen.

District 2, where my best friend is, ex best friend we haven't spoken since the rebellion. My stomach got that hollowed-out feeling again making me feel like I could throw up any minute. Gale.