Learning to live

Epilogue.

I sat with my son Rye on my Knee stroking his head he had as much hair as Willow did at his age but his was as blonde as Peeta's and had started forming into tight curls. Willow had Peeta's green eyes and Rye had Seam eyes just like me. It was New year's eve and we was having one of our New Year's Eve parties same as every year. Christmas lights glistened and the smell of food and mulled wine filled the room. I'd had a few but not too many as I was on baby duty. Peeta however was rather drunk singing on karaoke with Gale.

"Not fair is it" Johanna huffed sitting down next to me in a red and black tartan dress that was tight around her stomach. Her hair blown into loose curls.

I placed Rye in my other arm, "get used to it honey welcome to mother hood" I Had a pair of black skinny jeans on with a khaki polo neck. My hair was blown straight tucked behind my ears.

Johanna was 4 months pregnant with her and Gales baby. They had kept the gender a surprise. Like me and Peeta did when we were pregnant with Willow.

"yeah can only imagine" she rolled her eyes.

By this point Gale had tried to walk off forgetting the karaoke machine microphone was plugged into the wall. He didn't get very far before being flung back. Peeta, Thom and Riley cheered "wheeeeeeey" in drunken unison.

"I feel like I have child already" Johanna said shaking her head.

Annie come over her son in her arms he was 6 weeks older than Rye. Shed called him Nathan. She looked exhausted. Nathan was inquisitively looking around the room wide eyed.

"you are so lucky you have a baby that sleeps" she moaned. "Nathan is up 4 times a night and I don't get a break in the day while Lee is at work"

I smiled sympathetically, "tell me about it Willow was a terrible sleeper but we've fell on our feet with Rye he's asleep more than he's awake"

Annie's Fiancé Lee made his way over. He was extremely tall at least 6ft 4 with the blackest hair and olive skin. "Want me to take over?" he genuinely asked.

Annie looked completely relived and didn't even answer just placed Nathan in his arms. Walking over to the table of food Peeta had made. Full to the brim with more food, more food than id had in my entire life years ago. Casseroles, chicken, breads, deserts. everything you could imagine.

Lee was lovely he understood how much of a big part of our lives Finnick was and he never tried to take that place. He was amazing with Luca, and even though Luca knew who his dad was and will always be he called Lee dad. I think Annie was happy she had found someone who loved both of them and treated her son as if he was his own and I think she knew Finnick would be proud as well.

"you no trying your luck with karaoke?" Johanna laughed.

He laughed back "No I'm more comfortable on bottle and bum duty" he patted Nathans bum. "Speaking of which he needs a change can I use Rye's nursery?"

"no need to ask" I smiled, and he headed off.

Out of no where Johanna spoke, "Who would have thought we would be here this time 6 years ago"

"Not me anyway" I replied.

I thought about how crazy me, and Johanna were this time all them years ago. Johanna hooked on Morphling me filled with rage and craziness that burned for me to kill snow. I never imagined being stable or being an actual good mother which needless to say I am. I mean we all have our days when nightmares take over us or Peeta has a flashback and grabs the back of the chair but its all part and parcel of what's happened to us. Peeta is the most amazing father not that I ever doubted he would be its like he was destined for this role and I'm so glad I gave him, gave us the gift of these 2 precious babies we have. It does sadden us there should be another sibling herewith them but then we wouldn't have Rye and I've accepted life works in mysterious ways. My heart could bust when I think of moments of us all in the meadow. Peeta running around with Willow scooping her up her brown braids blowing in the wind. Or when he holds Rye and strokes his face and tells him of all the things they are going to do when he is old enough. Peeta would have 10 kids if I would let him, he loves it he thrives off being a father. The way his face lights up when Willow shouts "daddy" or getting up In the middle of night when Rye cries or even shrieks he never moans picks him out of his cot and places him on his chest soothing him "daddy is here its ok". I am lucky beyond lucky to have a life like this to have a purpose. I mean I did have a purpose before all of this, a purpose to reform Panem and be the face of he rebellion. But that purpose was led by a desire and hatred to kill snow a purpose to destroy him and all his hate. Along with him a lot of people lost their lives for me for our cause and to this day it hits me I still play my tedious game. Am I sorry for what happened though? No. I wouldn't have Peeta or beautiful babies or our families. Children would sill be getting slaughtered,hungry ,cold. If I never pulled them berries out none of this would be possible. Of course, I miss my darling sister every day and every other loved one who lost their life along the way. I know Annie doesn't blame me for Finnicks death like I don't blame Gale for prims. We have all done things we are not proud of and it  eats us up every day but all we can do is learn to live. Learn to live with all the bad that has happened and the good that has become from it and that's enough for me.