Better Left Unsaid |✓

I wish I'd said Goodbye

Tears springing to your eyes when you look through the old photos,
Remembering how it all happened, so sudden you  didn't know
Caught in a flash with him disappearing,
Away from your reach, away from the world that's living
Crying yourself  to sleep every night, hoping he'd come back to you,
If you could've just stopped that moment from occuring, it'd be too good to be true
The depression that day brought along with it, sent waves of unhappiness overseas,
Now all we can do is replay the moments and smile at the memories
Glancing back at the old wooden frame that adorned my bedside table,
Showed me how much he really meant to all of us, to forget I don't think I'll be able
The world cried silent tears that night for the boy who spread his message wide,
For till the end it hurt me to see him, as he lived till the end with a smile
The last of his days were the hardest for me, time slipping out of my fingers,
I held on to him for as long as I could till the light in his eyes no longer lingered
Jumping over the obstacles that followed that day, still remain a fantasy,
As no matter how hard, I try to let go, the spirits continue  following me
I wish I'd said goodbye, given you the right send away, into the realms of the unknown,
I wish I'd given you all that you'd ever wanted, before you'd left me here alone
I wish I could move on, take a deep breath and forget, but I know things will never be the same,
For the instance that took place flooded darkness into the world, and now we're left to tackle the pain
One thought re-occurs in my head every minute, one thought that will follow me to my grave,
One mistake I never knew would cost me my life, one mistake I hadn't known I'd made
If I could just replay that moment again, to say the right words I'll try,
I'll hold you even tighter and try to fake a smile,
I just wish I'd said goodbye.
~Via

How does it feel to lose someone you love? You feel numbness, you can't think. You can't process the fact and no matter how many times you repeat to yourself over and over again that the moment was real, you don't believe it. You don't believe a single word of it and nothing seems right. Later, the pain starts to set in and your heart truly aches for your loss. Eventually, though, it gets better. No matter how much you try to convince yourself that it's the end, it's not. You don't want to accept it, but eventually, your tears stop flowing and your heart stops screaming in agony. One day, you'll learn to smile at the old memories instead of crying that you can no longer make them. At one point, time freezes and you preserve the moments as they pass by.

You learn to live with the story of the past.

~Olivia