Happy Accidents

Chapter 44

Warning: Triggering content

//Carl's POV

I staggered back towards Alexandria, unsure of how to feel. I felt like my heart had been ripped in half but at the same time, I couldn't stop repeating something Tess said to me in my head.

We both know that I'm not the only person you love.

I tried to deny it, but why did I find truth in it?

//Tess's POV

I got back to camp and went straight to my room, flinging myself down on my bed and hugging my pillow.

I knew I needed to do something. To hunt, or scavenge, to just get out.

But I felt like I couldn't move. It was like as soon as I laid down, a wave crashed over me, keeping me down.

I did manage to reach under my pillow and grab a blade.

I stared at it with mixed feelings.

I remembered Carl's words. Of how much he wanted me to stop.

Gripping the blade, unsure, with tears streaming down my face, I told myself that those were words that he said before shit hit the fan. He probably didn't mean them anymore.

I brought the blade down, skimming my wrist, little beads of blood coming to the surface.

Then, something else Carl said came to my mind.

I love you.

I had never heard those words before. Not from my mom, not from my dad, not from my sister, not from anyone in my group.

Carl loved me.

And I had to go and screw it up. Like I always do. That's who I am. One big screw up.

I made another, deeper mark. Blood trickled down my shaking hand.

My sadness quickly turned into anger.

Through my heaving sobs, I chucked the blade across the room, letting out a yell.

I knew trying to find it would be hell but I didn't care.

Grabbing my pillow, I held it in front of my face, taking a deep breath and leaning into it.

I waited for more tears to come, but they didn't.

In fact, I felt tired. Exhausted.

Maybe a nap wouldn't hurt.

Laying down and getting comfortable, I tried to push every thought of Carl out of my mind.

Eventually, I fell into a dreamless sleep.

//Carl's POV

Not even bothering to climb over the gate, I just walked up to the entrance.

Maggie was in gate watch. Her eyes widened when she saw me, but she opened the gate.

As I walked in, she called down to me.

"Carl! Why were you out there?"

I ignored her and continued walking.