Nighttime

Chapter 23 - So how's life ?

One whole month had passed since I had left. I saw Mary regularly since she'd gotten me a job at the boutique she was working at. I was thankful for the job, it kept me sane. Living with Harry and the others was easier than I'd thought. They mostly gave me space to be alone, the only one forcing me to spend time with her was Nessa who basically lived with Niall now. I wasn't mad at her for doing so, I was actually appreciating that she tried to get me out of my mind. Mostly. Today, however was a day that I wanted nothing more than being alone.
"Come on, please!" I shook my head at my best friend, looking out of the window again as she sighed. "Emilia, you can't sit around all day. You need to get out of the house and a movie is the perfect way to distract yourself." "No offense Nessa, but I think I know best." She wasn't giving up easily, stepping in and sitting on the cushioned windowsill next to. "No offense my ass. I think I know very well that you need to get out, free your mind."
Instead of answering her I stared at my phone. It kept ringing. Michael kept trying to reach me, had been for a good two weeks. I never answered.

Michael's POV
Pressing the phone to my ear, I waited anxiously. Hi this is Emilia, leave a message after the beep! Again, nothing. She hadn't replied to any of my texts or calls before, and even though I always knew beforehand that she wouldn't, I kept trying.
Two weeks had passed since the last time I'd seen her face. Two weeks of nights filled with nightmares that had me waking up shaking and in tears, not able to go back to sleep. I'd gotten used to being tired constantly, but I hadn't gotten used to being without her. Now I knew. I knew that I had been an asshole towards her, that I treated her like shit and nothing like she deserved. Nevertheless, it was too late for me to realise.
Sipping a way too hot coffee I didn't notice how it burned my mouth, I didn't feel the pain. I'd gotten numb to pretty much everything, aside from her. I stopped drinking, in the first week relying on Valium to get some sleep, but no matter how many pills I swallowed I still stayed wide awake.
The ringing of my phone shook me up, answering it within seconds. "Emilia?!" A deep sigh. "Sorry pal, it's just me." "Oh. Hey Calum." "Hey Mikey. How are you buddy?" "I manage." I kept lying to him and the others even though I knew that they saw how I was really doing, they'd been my brothers for long enough. "That's good. Listen Mike, we could get back early so we're on the way home from the airport now." I smiled weakly. I was happy about them being back, but it wasn't enough. "Ems isn't home." "I know buddy. I'm sorry. We'll be there soon, okay?" I nodded, unaware of the fact that he couldn't see, then I just hung up.
Minutes passed while I just sat on the hardwood floor and stared out the floor length window into the garden.
I only noticed that I'd dialled her number again when I heard the line beeping, then her familiar and yet so strange voice. Then the beep. "Hi baby. I- I don't know if I'm even allowed to call you that anymore. I miss you. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know I'm an asshole, and-" Suddenly the recording stopped, a mechanical voice announcing The voicemail this user has set up is full. Please try again later. Then it just stopped. Had I gotten angry at something so little as this before, I just resigned now. Laying my phone aside I got up and slowly walked towards the staircase and down to the living room. A huge welcome back scene played out in front of my eyes, Luke hugging his sister while Calum fell down onto our couch with a happy grin and Ashton talking to Nessa who stood in the doorway.
Nessa ? Nessa meant that Emilia could be here somewhere. I stumbled down the last steps, my eyes darting from one corner to the other to find her familiar hazel eyes and blonde hair. "Hi Michael." Nessa kept her distance as she walked up to me. "She's not here. She didn't tag along, stayed home." "No." I murmured. "Her home is here." "She didn't want to come, okay?" I nodded, my mind realising that she didn't want to see me. She was done with me. Probably living her best life, having fun and using the advantages of being single again. "Mike?" I snapped back to reality and looked up at Nessa. "She didn't know we'd come here, it was spontaneous. We planned to go see a movie before Calum called us. It's not about you." Although I didn't really believe her, I nodded and watched her turn around and head back to Niall who stood by the door. At least she wasn't alone.

Emilia's POV
Flipping through my old diary, I pulled out tons of pictures. I turned one around that showed me, Michael and Calum at around 16. Even back then, I was sitting on Michael's lap, his eyes darted up to look at my face and his hands carefully placed on my hips. Another one that was taken at my 18th birthday party. I sported a winning smile as I cut my cake, Michael again standing behind me, leaning down to kiss my cheek.
Slamming the book shut I threw it away from me. It just carried pain that I didn't need now. A faint knock on the door before it was opened, Louis poked his head in, blinking at the almost all consuming darkness. "Can I come in, love?" Wiping away some tears I nodded. Closing the door behind him, Louis came over to sit on the floor next to me. "How are you holding up?" "I'm trying." "Hey, I was thinking- you should talk to him today. Maybe go see him, I'd join you of course. If not just call him. He deserves it, and you both need it." When I didn't answer, he pulled me along as he stood up. "Come on. Let's go see him." Feeling my body tense up, he stepped in and cupped my face. "I'm not leaving you alone. I'm there at all times. Hold on to me."

The tall, white house had been my home whenever I'd been here. Now that I stood in front of it, it was a strange place.
Within seconds Mary spotted me from her bedrooms window, a second head appearing behind hers having me in riddles. "Calum?" "They came home today, just like an hour ago." "I guess it's cool that no one told me." I mumbled more to myself as to anyone else. "Ready?" Louis pushed my hand as we walked up to the dark wood front door, but I shook my head. "I can't do this Louis. I can't be here, I need to leave, I can't -" And then he opened the door. I hadn't noticed Louis ringing the doorbell, and I now didn't notice Mary showing up behind him and waving at me.
His usually milky white skin nearly grey, eyes sunken in and bloodshot. They lost their shine, didn't look as if they were still alive. I felt my wall crack, my whole protection breaking down.
There was a giant hole in my chest that ached for him, I knew deep down that only he could cure. I was aching to be in his arms that felt like they were made for me, my body a perfect fit against his. But I wasn't ready to be hurt again.
Grasping Louis' hand tightly, I took a step back along with a deep breath.
Michael grew visibly exhausted in front of my eyes, his shoulders and his head falling forward. With the first sob shaking my body and my every last wall defeated I stepped in and fell against his body.
His arms immediately wrapped around me like they'd always done, his face buried in the crook of my neck. A few seconds. I told myself. Just a few seconds.
I reached up to hold his face, my lips crashing against his. Like two waves colliding with each other we slammed together, both of us breathless and shaken, weak and yet strong at the same time.
Again we kissed, softer this time. Finally I pulled away, holding and studying his face for a little longer before I place one last, barely even there kiss on his lips and backed up.
"Happy Birthday Michael. I'll always love you."