Avenger's One-shots and Preferences

Insecure- Bucky Barnes

This may kinda sorta border along the lines of one my love triangle installments only this time Bucky is in the middle. It's not so much a love triangle as more the reader is in a relationship with Bucky and when she sees him hanging out with Natasha at times she feels threaten/insecure given the former assassins' history together. This may get a little dramatic.

You head to the armory in the Avengers facility knowing full well your boyfriend Bucky would be in there preparing for his next mission. You knock on the open door, making him aware of your presence. He looks at you with a smile as he approaches you and places a quick peck on the lips. "How long is this one suppose to last?" you ask. "Should only take a few days," he places a hand on your shoulder, "Natasha and I will be back before you know it." "Wait, Nat is going with you on another mission again?" you ask, attempting to mask the sudden pang of jealousy that arose within you. "That isn't a problem is it, doll?" he asks with genuine concern. "No, of course not," you try to brush it off with a smile, "She's great. Other than Steve or Sam, you couldn't have asked for a better partner." "I would have an easier time believing you if that smile of yours wasn't fake," Bucky says more sternly. "It's not fake," you try to reassure him, "Look you got to get going so hug, hug, kiss, kiss, I'll see you in a few days." You hastily leave the armory and head for the kitchen.

Once at the kitchen you gather everything you need to make a salad. Normally you would go for a can of soup or even a BLT sandwich; today, however, you were feeling a little more aware of your weight than usual. You knew about both Bucky and Natasha's history and how they were lovers back in the Red Room. When Bucky became an Avenger they started having this on-again, off-again relationship. By the time you came along, they were in the off-again part of said relationship, which was when Bucky took an interest in you. At first you had initially thought he was only dating you so he could make Nat jealous and get back together with him, but than again that seemed highly unlikely since Nat wasn't THAT petty. The ironic part, other than Bucky actually did genuinely liked you as a girlfriend, was that it felt like you were the one who was acting petty; or a better term was insecure. You and Natasha were two completely different people: different fighting styles, different strengths, different heights, and (as much as you hated to admit it) different weights and body types. Often you found yourself standing on tip toes when were standing next to her and sometimes mentally comparing cup sizes. Occasionally you looked at yourself in the mirror as if to really compare yourself with the redhead. Whenever she was partnered up with Bucky or even when they were hanging out as friends, you could feel the insecurities well up from within. You never brought this up to Bucky though seeing how you didn't want to be one of those girlfriends who dictates which girls their man can or can't be friends with; even if they have been hanging out a little more often than usual lately.

With these thoughts swirling through your head, you didn't notice Bruce walking into the kitchen. He placed a hand on your shoulder which took you by surprise as you spin around with a knife in hand. "Oh, it's you," you relax and place the knife on the cutting board. "You seem a little tense," Bruce states, "Is everything alright with you and Bucky?" "Yeah, everything's fine," you reply mixing up the contents in your salad bowl, "He and Natasha just left for another mission and I have nothing to worry about." "I find that hard to believe, but if you say so," Bruce head to the fridge to take out some leftover pasta. After a few moments of silence you speak up, "You sure you and Natasha couldn't have worked things out?" The seemingly random question takes Bruce by surprise, "Wha- Where's this coming from, (y/n)?" "I mean, sure the chemistry between you two was minimal at best, but you're a scientist. You have a working knowledge in chemistry, as do I. Maybe we could work together and whip up some chemical formula that could induce what was lacking in that relationship." "You know full well it doesn't work that way," Bruce chuckles crossing his arms. "No, but it was worth a try," you say in defeat.

"Come on, (y/n), be honest," Bruce's tone becomes serious, "What's really going on with you?" "I don't know," you sigh, "It's just every time I see her hanging out with Bucky, I just get...well I'm not sure how to describe it." "I think the term you're looking for is jealousy," Bruce says. "Maybe," you reply, "Don't get me wrong, I trust Bucky, it's just what if one day, he wants her back? I wouldn't blame him if he did. I mean she's strong, smart, a really great fighter, they have so much in common, and she is drop dead gorgeous to boot." "Sounds more like you want to date her," Bruce comments. "I kind of do, actually," you admit, "If I wasn't dating Bucky I'd see if her door swung that way too. Anyways, I thought maybe if she was dating somebody else it would eliminate the competition. I thought of you since Clint's married, she only sees Steve as a friend, and I am not hooking her up with Tony. As jealous as I may or may not be I don't want to punish her." Bruce places a hand your arm as a gesture to comfort. "Maybe I should just face  facts, she's a more suitable mate for Bucky, I should just end things with him before my heart is broken and give Nat my blessing to take him back," you could have sworn you felt tears coming up. "Oh come on, (y/n), you can't think like that," Bruce tells you, "You're really going to throw away an amazing relationship with a really great guy, whom I know is head-over-heels for you, just to save yourself heartbreak in the near future?" "Yes," you state as you get up, "As soon as he gets back, that's exactly what I'm going to do." 

-----------------------A Few Days Later-----------------------------------

You had just packed the last of your things from your shared bedroom with Bucky and was about to take them back to your old bedroom when Bucky walks in, back from his mission. "(Y/N), what are you doing, sweetheart?" he asks confused as he sees you with a box of your possessions in hand. "I'm moving back to my old bedroom," you tell him, letting no emotion show in your face, "I think it's best we see other people." "What? Why?" Bucky asks even more confused, "Was it something I did?" "No, everything's been great the last year we've been together," you reply, "it's not you, it's me, and I do actually mean it's me." You're about to leave but Bucky blocks the door. "Let me pass, James," you say in a stern tone. "No," he replies, "Not until you tell me what's going on with you." "You want to know what's going on with me? fine," you groan and put the box down, "I honestly don't know what you ever saw in me, you could do so much better, you could practically have any woman you want." "The only woman I want in my life is you," he tries to reassure you, "who else is there?" You think before replying, "Natasha Romanoff, or Natalia Romanova as you once knew her in another life." Bucky seems to have an idea of what's going on, "And you were that insecure that you were prepared to leave without offering an explanation." "She's best for you," you fight back tears, "You're lucky to have her." Bucky sighs, the realization sinking in, "At least let me ask you, in your haste to end things, did you even think about what I wanted?" He pulls you into a hug; even though you didn't return it, he kept his arms around you. "True, you're not Natasha, you are who you're meant to be...yourself." you kept silent, streams of tears flowing from your eyes. "You're a great fighter, too you know, you're really smart; all those equations and science terms I could never hope to comprehend. And you know what else, doll," he lifts your chin up so you could look at him, "You are beautiful," he kisses you deeply.

"You're just saying that," you try to sound indifferent which didn't help with the slight break in your voice, "Never had a guy say that to me before; never been the girl that gets looked at twice." "Well they're fools if they can't see it. Natalia was my past...you are my future," you see that Bucky meant every word. "I was hoping to do this later but I want to prove it to you right now." Bucky gets on one knee and presents you a diamond ring. "Is that what I think it is?" you gasp, "I've been searching all week for the perfect ring. I asked Nat to help out since I figured this sort of thing requires a woman's touch," he chuckles, "So (y/n), (y/m/n), (y/l/n), will do me the honor and spend the rest of your life with me as my wife?" You were momentarily at a loss for words so you shake your head yes, "Of course I will James!" you exclaim as he gets up to kiss you, "I love you so much. Thank you." "I love you, too, (y/n)," he happily replies as he places the ring on your finger.