Avenger's One-shots and Preferences

Si-Vengers Part 2

Part 2. Enjoy.

While Si was plopped out on the couch napping, snoring away till he was ready to continue with the rest of the tour,  the rest of the team was starting to feel the effects of Si's Vietnam special.

Meanwhile, you and Loki were staring down on a snoring Si. "I thought the old man was obnoxious when he was awake," Loki speaks, referring to Si's snores. "He should probably get that looked at," you concur. You shake Si a little, slightly arousing him from sleep, "Oh, hey, (y/s/n). Leslie." "Will you please say my name right?" Loki annoyingly snaps, "My name is Loki. Not Lori, not Larry, and certainly not Leslie. It's Loki. How hard is that to remember?!" "Uh, Si, I know you need to take at least five naps a day but we still need to get on with the tour," you point out. "Gimme bout five more minutes, I was dreamin about beavers," Si shrugs off and nods back to sleep.  

You were about to try and wake him up again, but some loud burping stopped you. Turning around, you see Thor was turning all different shades of green. Behind him, some of the other team didn't seem to be any better as gas started to spew from both ends. "Uh, are you guys alright?" you ask with slight concern. "We're fine," Steve assures, "Just a little gas is all." Sam and Bucky both belched right after that. "Make that a whole lot of gas," Tony corrects.

At once, Thor doubles over then makes a run for the nearest bathroom. "Well, there goes any chance I've had at using those particular facilities," Rhodey quips. "Something tells me we probably won't be able to go in their for a couple days," Clint adds right before they hear straining sounds from the other side of the door, "Or weeks."

"Uh, wasn't there a forgetful and possibly senile old man clad in camouflage lying of this couch not too long ago?" Loki points to where Si was napping, completely devoid of a certain redneck. "Uh oh, where that crazy duck hunter get to?" Tony frantically looks around. You and some of the other team look around the lounge and check outside the lounge. "Well, I can't find him," you say. "Yeah, for an old man he sure moves fast," Sam agrees. "We really need to make sure he doesn't hurt himself or possibly burn this whole place to the ground," Steve directs, "Everyone split up and find him." With that, the team broke up and scattered to find the missing redneck.

Right as you were about to take off, you notice Thor had just come outta the bathroom. "You okay there, buddy?" you ask. "Not completely well, but I feel better now then I did not too long ago," Thor answers, "I probably should've turned down that last bowel of Vietnam special." "Yeah, I think I can actually feel the heat coming out of the bathroom," you plug your nose, "Anyway, just to catch you up, Si has gone AWOL and we need to find him before he potentially blows up this whole facility by accident." You and Thor then go your separate ways to find Si.

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Meanwhile, Si was taking a long stroll around the facility. "This place sure is all fancy like," Si says to himself, "Wonder if I get home, I could try and convince Willie to build somethin like this for Duck Commander."   Suddenly, Si spots a large beehive attached to the building, "Goodness," Si exclaims, "That thing is larger then the ones in Louisiana." As Si approaches the hive for closer inspection,  the bees sense Si's presence and form a swarm, "Uh oh," Si says, about to make a run for it right as they started to attack. "These ain't no regular honeybees; these are those lab grown killer bees!"

Quickly Si sprints as far as his legs could carry all the way to the nearest door. He closes it right before the swarm could attack him. "Phew," Si sighs in relief, "That was a close one. Them Avengers should do a better job keepin pests like that under control. Gotta be some way to take that hive down; I'm bettin there's still lots of honey in it." Si takes a look around where he was and notice the number of guns and weapons stored. "This must be the armory," Si realizes, "Now this woulda been the highlight of the tour." he spots some dynamite nearby, "Hey, this gives me an idea."

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"Anybody have anything to report?" Steve asks when everybody regrouped three hours later. "Nothing so far," you reply. "Not good (y/n) take another look around," Steve orders. You nod and get to it. "He's not in the mud hole," Thor reports, him covered in mud. "Well look again," Steve orders. "He's not in the magnetic field room," Scott says. "Well look again," Steve says back. "He's not in my thoughts," Loki deadpans. "Well think again," Steve sternly replies.

"We've been at this for three hours now," Tony states, "Did anybody during that amount of time ever bother to think about asking Friday if she's seen anything. You know, because she has eye and ears all over this facility." The other team members exchange glances then look away in embarrassment. "I'm guessing the redneck's senile-ness is starting to get to everybody," Tony smirks. "Did you think to ask Friday?" you point out. "I did," Tony nods, "...About one hour into the search, I just wanted to see if anyone else figured it out." The others start to groan. "Friday what is the exact location of Si Robertson?" Steve asks. "Well it appears our new house guest has been taking care of an Africanized killer bee problem on the south side of the compound," the AI responds. "How exactly is he doing that?" you ask a little nervous. "It seems Mr. Robertson's solution to this pest control problem is to set an unnecessarily excessive amount of dynamite around the hive."     

"Dynamite!?" the team simultaneously exclaims. At once, you all rush off to the site.

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"Well, that outta bout do it," Si replies, looking over all the dynamite he set up. Getting a good distance from the site, Si pulled out a detonating device and prepared himself for impact. "FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

Right as you and the rest of the team were about to turn the corner outside, there was a loud and large explosion that was big enough to knock most of you off your feet. "What the hell was that?" Sam asks in shock. "I'm almost afraid to ask," Steve replies with the same amount of surprise. 

You and the team take cautious steps around the corner to see Si covered in residue from the explosion. "Oh hey y'all," Si happily waves at you all, "No need to worry, everything's under  control, okay?" "You know you're on fire right?" Loki gestures to a small flame that ignited on the sleeve on Si's camo jacket, "Uh oh," Si merely responds as he attempts to put it out. Loki sighs and uses his cold powers to put the fire out, "That'll do it," Si says, "Thanks Loki." "You actually got my name right this time, Silas," Loki says surprise. "What you talking about, Lexi I always got your name right," Si replies. "And we're right back to where we started," Loki mutters walking away.

"By the way, did any of y'all know which way that beehive went?" Si asked. The team takes a good look at the damage caused. "Mr. Robertson, are you not fully aware of the unnecessary damage you caused with that dynamite stunt you pulled?" Tony lectures getting to the front of the group. "You have any idea how much time and money it's gonna cost to rebuild this section of the compound?" "Hey, don't worry, I can fix this," Si assures, which was followed by some debris falling off the hinges. Tony puts a palm to his face and groans slightly. "I wonder when that beehive's comin down," Si looks around.

"How the hell are you even still alive?" Sam frowns. "Probably dumb luck," Loki shrugs, "Would explains loads how he even survived that war he was in." "You know what, hey, y'all can just bill me the damage, okay?" Si says, "I'm getting too old for to be fixing this sort of thing."

---Time Skip/ Scene Change-------

"You know, as crazy as it sounds, I'm actually gonna miss Uncle Si," you say shortly after Si left. "Yeah, he really does grow on you," Sam agrees. "I wish we could've heard more of the son of Robert's war stories," Thor quips. "I'm glad he's gone," Tony interjects, as he and Rhodey patch up the last of last of the damage caused by the car incident when the redneck first came to the facility, "He's gonna keep us busy for weeks just to fix the south side of the compound alone." "Tony does have a point," Rhodey agrees, "The man stayed here a minute longer, we all would probably be staying at a hotel by now."

"Well look on the bright side," you point to the fixed window, "There's very little chance of the man driving through here again." The second you said that, the same car that crashed through the window earlier today came barreling right through the newly fixed window yet again. "No, no, don't say it," you tell Tony, "Don't even chuckle. I'm very well aware I spoke too soon."

Si honked his horn, then rolled down the window of the driver's side, "Oops, sorry," he says, "I lost my way to the airport again. Don't worry, hey, I think I got the hang of it this time, okay?" Si backs out and drives away, leaving you and the rest of the team to watch drive off with the biggest looks of shock on your faces.

The End