Having No Regrets (A One Direction Love Story)

Willow's POV

After Luna left to go to her classes, I just sat there staring at my breakfast that I barely ate any of. I was way too stressed out to eat. I got up and brought it over to the sink.

"You're not going to pull a Luna, are you?" Zayn asked.

"No, I don't plan on doing that to myself, don't worry. Right now, I'm more traumatized than hungry so I'm really not in the mood to eat right now." I said.

~

I walked upstairs and into my room, where I laid down in my bed. I barely slept at all last night and I desperately wanted to sleep. But thoughts of Brian kept racing through my mind. Everything was on mind and causing me a ton of stress. Life is such a bitch sometimes.

There were so many questions that I didn't know whether or not I wanted the answers to. Where is Brian? How long would it be before he came back? Would he actually kill me next time? What if no one was around to protect me when it happens? Not only was that stressing me out, but the thought of Liam in the hospital was too.

I wished he was here to comfort me. He always knew what to say to calm me down. I felt trapped. Brian had done more psychological damage to me than physical. It was one thing for him to be under the influence at a party and try to do something to me but the sober version of him was clearly way worse.

Suddenly, I felt really sick. I got up and rushed to the bathroom. I puked in the toilet for the second time today. I really needed to stop making myself throw up. I couldn't help it, the stress just made me feel sick. I was supposed to be going to counselling soon and I couldn't wait. I really needed all the help I could get.

I went back to my bed shaking and crying. This was a never ending nightmare. Maybe I should just kill myself before Brian has the chance. What the fuck was I thinking?! I shouldn't kill myself, that's just going to extremes. That would almost be like letting him win. That would tell him I couldn't handle his torture and that would probably satisfy him like the fucked up sadist he is.

~

That afternoon, Niall came into my room. "Hey, do you want some lunch? Zayn and Harry cooked again."

"No, I'm not hungry." I replied.

Niall sighed. "You're not going to pull a Luna, are you?"

"No and people really need to stop asking me that. I'm just stressed, that doesn't mean I'm going to starve myself." I said annoyed.

"Zayn said you didn't eat your breakfast and I'm concerned. You need to eat, Willow." Niall said.

"I'll eat when I'm hungry."

"When will that be?"

"I don't fucking know, Niall! But I promise you, I'm going to keep myself healthy." I said.

"I'm also concerned about this habit you have of throwing up from stress. That's not normal." Niall said.

"Well, no shit it isn't. It's just stress, that's all it is. You're worrying more than you should." I replied.

"I just don't want you to end up with serious health problems. If you don't want to eat lunch, that's fine. I suppose it's not going to kill you." Niall said. "You should get some rest, you look extremely tired." He then left the room.

~

I decided to follow Niall's advice and take a nap. Surprisingly, I got a full two hours of sleep, which was more than I got last night. But I did wake up a few times. Whenever I woke up, it took me a while to fall back asleep. I still wasn't hungry, even after not eating anything all day. Well, I did have about two bites of my breakfast but still, that wasn't enough. I hoped I could back to eating by tomorrow.

I appreciated Niall being concerned for me. I was still a little hung up on the fact that he had feelings for me. Now whenever I'm with Liam, I'm just going to feel guilty. But I shouldn't. Liam is my boyfriend and if Niall was really a true friend, he'd respect that and want me to be happy. I had faith Niall wouldn't do anything to fuck that up. He's too good of a person.

My phone went off and I got a text from Hailey. I had told her everything about what happened.

H: Hey, I hope you're doing alright. I have decided that I want to come visit you in a couple days so that I can be there for you. It is my duty to fulfill as your amazing big sister <3 I know there's a lot of you staying in one house so I can get a hotel room.

W: Thank you, Hailey. I love you <3 I can't wait for you to come visit. I would really appreciate the support.

H: I can't wait to see you either. I feel horrible about what's happened and I want to protect you and make sure it won't happen again.

W: You're the best sister ever! I'll text you Luna's address before you come so you know where to find me.

H: Ok, sounds like a plan! Love you <3

W: Love you, too <3

All the sudden, my abdomen began to hurt a little bit. I figured it would go away soon and I tried to relax. The pain grew a little more. I tried to keep relaxing but the more I did, the more the pain increased. I felt really sick again. Fuck, here I go again.

As I walked to the bathroom, the pain got worse. I threw up again and when I was done, I got back up, while struggling. It was hard to walk back to my bed because the pain in my abdomen was at an all time high. I was sweating and shaking. This time, I wasn't shaking from trauma. I had chills. What was wrong with me?

"OW, FUCK!!" I yelled. I started to feel extremely dizzy. My body gave in and I lost my balance. I collapsed to the ground and everything went black.