Having No Regrets (A One Direction Love Story)

Luna's POV

A few days later, I hear a knock on my door and I look up at Zayn as he enters the room, with yet another box of Krispy Kreme's.

"Did you get what I asked for?" I ask and he nods.

"Yeah, yeah I did. You know, you can come back home." He tells me and I can't help but glare at him and he nods his head. "Yeah, yeah I know, you don't want to."

He hands me the box of donuts and the apartment magazine that include all the newest apartments currently up for rent, or to buy. It'd only come out today and they'd only been going for a few months, but apparently they were big sellers already, and I wanted to get into apartment hunting the minute I got out of here, which would be tomorrow. Neither Willow or Liam knew I was thinking about moving out. Honestly, I don't think they, or anyone else would want me moving out yet considering I'll be living by myself and I've just gotten out of hospital. 

I don't think Zayn particularly wanted me going off by myself either, but right now, I think he knew he was on very thin ice with me so he'd decided not to push me.

"Thanks." I say, as I put both of them on the bed.

"You're welcome." He says, and I can tell he's nervous. I almost didn't call him and ask him, but I also knew he'd probably be the only one not to have a go at me for moving into my apartment by myself right after all the shit that's happened. He was surprised that I'd called him, but I knew he was happy about it. 

"So, when do you get to leave?"

"Um, tomorrow morning. If I find any nice apartments I think I'll go and look at a few first, and then go back to Willow's." I reply and he nods.

"Well, I can take you if you want? I know your cars at Willow's, and you clearly don't want Willow, Liam, or anyone else finding out." He suggests and I think about turning him down. But what if he was being honest about actually being sorry? Though, I'd forgiven him a million times and he's still fucked me over, so a sorry was certainly not enough to make him forgive him. If I ever did. 

"Um, yeah sure, I guess. I'll text you and let you know." I nod my head and he gives me a small smile. I see the hope behind his dark brown eyes, and I wonder if there's any reason to be hopeful that I'll take him back. Maybe I will? I love him, I know that. But if I did, it'd take a very long fucking time. But maybe there was hope? Who even knew at this point?

*

I lie on the bed, flipping through the apartment magazine Zayn had gotten for me that day. I figured I should probably leave Willow and Liam's, leave the happy couple alone. And I couldn't go back to Zayn's, so I'd made up my mind to go and move into my own apartment with Aria and Rain. Zayn had left and I'd already found a few really nice apartments, so I'd decided to text him and tell him I certainly wanted to go tomorrow. I was wondering if it was a good idea, but who cares? It's not like I'm moving back in with him any time soon.

I'd put the ring on my finger, just to see what it feels like, and looks like while I flip through pages of apartments. It was a wonder how many apartments were actually up for sale and rent every week. Then again, New York is fucking huge. 

I hear a knock on the door and quickly hid the magazine under the bedsheet covers and sit up as Willow enters.

"Hey!" She says with a smile.

"Hey." I smile back and she looks at the donuts on the bed.

"Was he here again?" She asks, narrowing her eyes at me and I nod.

"Yeah, he just bought around some more donuts. He's taking me shopping tomorrow before I come home, just a small trip, and no, we're not back together, but you'd have to get up early and what not, and he was here so I thought why not." I lie, and give her a quick shrug.

"Then why are you wearing an engagement ring?" She asks, pointing down to the ring on my finger and I quickly take it off and place it back in the velvet box.

"I just wanted to see how it felt, what it looked like on, what could've been, and what should have been instead of what is." I answer, and it's the truth. It is what should've been and could have been, in reality, it could still be possible, but right now, the future was all so unclear. Maybe we just aren't meant to be, but maybe we are. Why was I even considering this? Oh wait, that's right, I'm in love with him, and there was a part of me that did want him back, but the other part was being more rational. Making him work for my forgiveness. 

"Oh, okay." She says slowly, nodding her head and she comes and sits on the bed. "Can I have a donut?"

"Yeah." I nod and she opens the box and takes one out. "It's a lot better than hospital food, and I can't say I don't enjoy Zayn bringing me donuts every few days."

"Just use and abuse him like he did to you. Just get him to keep buying you donuts." She shrugs, taking a bit out of her donut and I give her a small giggle.

"Maybe that's what I should do." I wink and she giggles and then she turns serious.

"How are you doing? Really?" She asks me and I nod and grab my third donut.

"I'm good, the medication is all working fine, as you can see I'm eating, and this is my third donut today. I think Zayn coming and telling me he's sorry and blah blah blah helped a bit. Gave me a bit of closure. Made me feel more at peace in a way. I know it wasn't my fault, he fucked everything, not me. He made his choices, and that's that. But yeah, I'm good. Or maybe, just maybe, it's just the medication." I say, giving her a smile at the end.

"Or maybe you're crazy."

"All the best people are."

*

I walk out of the hospital and I was glad it was starting to get warm. I was wearing a Dangerous Woman Ariana hoodie with some cute little shorts and some black flats, nothing too fancy. I'd put on light makeup which wasn't something I hadn't done for a while. At least I got some sleep in the hospital, or maybe it was just the sleeping pills they gave me that allowed me a dreamless sleep. If it was, I was fucked. 

I search for Zayn's car and I quickly spot it and walk over and hop into the passengers side. As soon as he sees me he gives me a big smile.

"Happy?" He asks and I nod.

"Ecstatic." I reply.

"I know how much you hate hospitals." He tells me and I nod. "So, where to first?"

*

We wander in and out of quite a few apartments, and nothing's just quite right. Zayn doesn't look impatient at all, he looks quite patient to be honest and he's telling me I'll find the right one soon, though, I don't really believe him. I was on the verge of giving up, and it was only my first day apartment hunting.

I was actually wearing the engagement ring, and I didn't really know why. It just looked right there, and felt right. I know he'd seen the ring but hadn't said anything. He knew I didn't forgive him, whenever he'd accidentally touch me, or maybe it was on purpose, I'd quickly walk away, and I felt slightly guilty, but what did he expect? I was in love with him, but I hated him, all at the same time, and I needed time to work out all these fucking crazy emotions.

We walk through the very last apartment that's on my list, but I'd given up hope. But the thing was, as soon as we walked in, my body lit up. We walked through the apartment and it was perfect, and I honestly can't believe I've already found the one. It just feels right. It's perfect for me, it has a walk in closet, it's not huge, but it's the perfect size for one, it has a main bedroom and a smaller spare room, which will be for Rain. There's a cute kitchen, lounge and dining area and it's just so cute and small. But perfectly small. And Zayn tells me I can go into the pool at our, wait, his house whenever I want and I thank him.

"This is perfect!" I squeal and I look at the person who's been showing us around. "I'll take it!" She nods her head and gives me a warm smile, and she tells me I can move in whenever. I smile brightly at Zayn and I'm so excited. Now I just have to tell Willow, and Brendon.