Having No Regrets (A One Direction Love Story)

Luna's POV

I stare out the window into the brightness of the afternoon. The doctors had told me I had to stay overnight just so they could keep an eye on me because of how hard I'd hit my head when Brian smashed me against the wall...Brian...dead...I did it...I still couldn't believe it. I don't even know how it happened. One minute the gun was pointed at Willow, and the next Brian was lying dead on the ground.

A few minutes later I head multiple footsteps come into the room and I can't help but wish I could run, run far far away so they couldn't find me. I know they'll want to know what happened to Brian. But how do you tell 3 of your friends, your brother, and your lover that you've killed someone?

I feel someone crawl into the bed with me and I roll over and bury my face into his chest as he wraps his arms tightly around me and I notice the other boys sit around the room.

"I should have listened to you, baby, I'm sorry." Zayn says and I can't bring myself to say anything, I can only nod.

"Luna, what happened?" Liam asks. I don't say anything, I just grip onto Zayn's shirt like that's the only thing that will keep me from going insane. I didn't ask for this. I didn't want this.

"How did Brian die?" Niall asks bluntly and I still can't say anything.

"Baby, what happened?" Zayn asks, his voice is so soothing, it makes me feel like everything will be okay, but I can't help but feel it won't be.

"I-I woke up, and I went to look for Willow and I found her...and B-Brian found me and threw me against the wall and I blacked out and when I woke up I was down in the Metro station with Willow and he hit me and he left and when he came back he was mad...so mad...and he pointed the gun at Willow and..." I can't finish, tears spring to my eyes at what I've done.

"And?" Louis asks.

"Oh my god." Liam whispers, coming to the realization. "One of you did it, didn't you?" I can't help but sit up and stare him dead in the eye.

"I killed him." I say bluntly and everyone's eyes go wide. Zayn sits up beside me. "I didn't mean to! It all happened so fast because I'd found a nail and that's how I got free and I ran at him and we struggled and the gun just went off and next thing, he was dead! I couldn't let him kill Willow! He would've killed me after he'd killed her!" I'm crying now, the tears stream down my face and I feel Zayn's arms wrap around me once again and he pulls me too him.

"Shhh, baby, you didn't have a choice, okay? It's not your fault. You didn't mean to, he got what was coming to him anyway." Zayn comforts me and all I can do is nod. 

*

The next day, Zayn and I stand outside the police station. They'd come into the hospital and asked if I could come into questioning the next day about Brian's death, and I couldn't very well lie to them, like, Brian wouldn't have shot himself without shooting us first. 

"Are you ready?" He asks calmly, my hand in his hand. Zayn hasn't left my side since I told him. The other boys were all sympathetic as well, telling me it was an accident and he deserved it. But it doesn't make me feel less shittier about what I've done. 

"Nope." I say before we walk inside and we go up to the desk and Zayn tells them what we're here for. They come out and they even let Zayn come inside with me. I don't think I could handle it if they didn't. 

"Tell us what happened." One of the officers says, and I thank god that they can speak English. 

I explain to them what happened, how this has happened before and they check the records and they find them to know that I am telling the truth that Brian did kidnap us a while back, and I explain that it happened again, and how I just knew so I went to the metro station and I tell them everything that happened. I tell them about my struggle with the gun and how I shot Brian. It was self defense though, I tell them, I explain how he had the gun to Willow and how he'd threatened earlier to kill her and this time he told her he was going to kill her. And then me. 

They nod their heads and they record it. I squeeze Zayn's hand a few times and he squeezes it back reassuringly. Afterwards the two cops look at each other and then they both look back at me. 

"Okay, well, we'll still have to get Willow's statement, and make sure yours both match up, but you're free to go. You probably won't be charged for the murder because it was self defense and this has happened before, but don't leave Paris until we have Willow's statement, okay?" The woman says and I nod.

"Okay, thank you." They lets us both go and we go back to the tour bus. 

"Luna...I'm so sorry. If I had of listened to you, this would never have happened. You wouldn't have gotten hurt, this is my fault." Zayn says quietly.

"Well, I can't say it wasn't partly your fault, because you're an asshole for not listening to me, but I chose to leave even after you told me not to. So I only have myself to blame." I say, and everything in me has gone numb. I don't feel anything, besides the occasional wave of guilt.

"Luna...it was an accident, okay? An accident. You did not mean to do it. And as we've all said, he fucking deserved it for hurting both you and Willow. If you hadn't of killed him, he would have killed the both of you." Zayn says as we walk into the tour bus and I can barely process what he says before the twins come up and hug me tightly. 

"We missed you, Luna!" Daisy says.

"I missed you girls too." I say and they both smile up at me. If only they knew. 

"Are you okay?" Phoebe asks and I shrug.

"I'll be fine." I say and they both nod slowly. 

"Come on, your sister needs her rest." Zayn says, ushering us all to the back of the bus where the couch is and we all sit on it as Harry walks in. Harry had stayed to look after the girls, Zayn had told me and he smiles sympathetically at me.

"Are you okay?" Harry asks and I shake my head and he comes over and sits beside me and gives me a big hug and I feel Zayn's hand on my thigh and I know he's jealous, but really he has no reason too.

After we pull away we all put on a movie to watch and settle down. The girls sit beside Harry while I'm in the middle of the two boys, curled up with Zayn on the couch, trying to forget what I've done.