My Lighthouse

The start of a long journey

Sheila instructed the taxi where he had to go, when they arrived at the airport. Traveling with Westlife was always a challenge. They never knew how much the fans found out already about their trip. So walking into an airport, just like that, wasn't possible because of screaming fans who were determined to get a glimpse of their idols. It could disorganize a complete airport and that's why they had to enter a special corridor, which led them to a VIP space only meant for people who could effort business treatments like that. The boys were used to this kind of procedures and to be honest, often they were glad they could disappear without being noticed. They loved their fans, they really did, but sometimes they just weren't in the mood and even than, they had to smile and make pictures with them, while all they wanted was sleep. Shane was the first one to jump out off the taxi and immediately looked around if no fans were there. Nicky laughed, that would be the joke of the year if they would let the fans in here. Sheila pushed her way out of the taxi, to immediately search for a stewardess who could take care of the boys and their crew, while she arranged everything with customs. Go get them Sheila! Kian joked. He could already see the irritation on her face, that there was no one there to welcome the VIP guests. Especially when she was nervous or irritated, she pushed her glasses further against her face, over and over again. After 8 years the lads knew they shouldn't argue with her when she did that and especially when she looked like that too. Her eyes could spit fire when she was angry. Mark asked her once if she had just as much fire when she made love, then when she took care of business, but Sheila had called him names and said it was none of his business what so ever. The boys had laughed about her reaction and Nicky and Kian said at the same time, yes she definitely will! Thinking about that, made her blush again, just like back then. She almost never blushed, only when they started to tease her about her sex life, which she hadn't, those were the moments she wanted to disappear and find herself a new job. But she loved the boys to much and particularly one. So instead of finding herself a quiet and peaceful job, she worked around them almost 24/7 and tortured herself with a feeling that would never be fulfilled ever in her life.

A beautiful looking stewardess came into the room to welcome them. With her long legs and beautiful slim figure, she was a sexy appearance which was noticed by the lads immediately. Nicky hit Kian on the back and looked at her from head to toe. Mark didn't pay her much attention although he liked what he saw. Shane was talking to one of the technicians who went along for managing their music during the recordings. So he didn't really noticed her either. But that wasn't an issue for the stewardess who apparently liked Nicky's attention a lot. She blushed when she asked the boys if they needed anything. Sheila grinned when she heard Nicky whisper, yes I would definitely need something from you. She new her lads by now. Being single, famous and incredibly good looking attracted a lot of woman and most of the time, the most gorgeous looking women she had ever seen. They could pick whoever they choose. That's why Sheila felt safe in her ordinary jeans and oversized sweater. She never felt herself pretty in her life, her brothers took care of that and so she hide herself in unattractive clothes and tried to be as good as she could in her job and everything around that.

Sheila stepped forwards and said, yes you could do your job and give everyone something to drink, while I'll take care of the passport control. The smile on the stewardess's face disappeared in an instant, when she looked at Sheila and turned around to fulfill Sheila's wish for her staff. Sheila knew how often others thought she was a bitch, but she didn't care about that. Well at least she acted like she didn't care. She had to do her job right. They relied on her and that was all there was to it. But sometimes, deep in her heart, she wished to be beautiful just like this stewardess. And that the boys would look at her in the same way as they looked at her now. Sheila pushed her glasses back on her nose again and walked out of the room. Sheila! She heard Mark say out loud. She felt her heart beating faster, how much she wanted him to scream her name just once in her life. Oh Sheila, cut it out! She thought to herself. She looked sidewards and smiled, M&M's Mark? How did you know? He looked at her with amazement on his face. She really knew him better then he knew himself, he thought smiling and answered, yes sweetheart please. Two bags of M&Ms before they all steal mine. He blinked at her and went on reading the book he had taken along on his trip. Sheila walked out of the VIP room, hating the feeling he brought into her body and mind sometimes. From the beginning on, Mark had always been her favorite. She loved talking to him and especially on trips like this, they often had the best conversations and lots of fun. The stress was completely different from the times they were on tour and that made trips like these, when they recorded new videos to their songs, a little bit like a vacation too. They stayed in a beautiful hotel this time, isolated from the hectic of the big city and at the beginning of the biggest wildlife park of South Africa. Even Sheila was a bit excited this time. They didn't always slept in the best of hotels, but because of their safety and the length of their journey, they now stayed in a very luxury hotel. She knew for sure the lads would love the hotel she had picked out together with Louis. The only thing which made her sad a little, was that she would be sleeping in one of the most beautiful and romantic locations of South Africa and she had to do that all alone. Oh well, there were worse things in these world, she sighed.

Do you mind if I sit next to you? Mark asked her when they entered the business class department on the plane. Why? So you can squeeze my hand to pieces when we crash down? Mark frowned. That happy because we're flying again huh? She turned her hands around and showed him the palms of her hands. They were sweaty and trembling. Mark took her hands in his and looked her in the eyes. Poor sweetheart, I will make you feel at ease on the flight. Maybe we can also sleep a little until we are there. That makes the 14 hours time of flying much shorter. Mark laughed and shook his head, when he felt her hands trembling even more, now he had mentioned how long the flight would take. Sheila took away her hands out of his and mumbled that she would be okay as long as the plane stayed in the air. Mark laughed again, took her hand luggage and put it in the compartment above the seats. Again a beautiful stewardess came towards them and gave Mark her most sexy smile, when she mentioned that he just needed to ask and she would do anything he wanted her to do. Yeah sure, Sheila thought irritated and whispered very quietly, why don't you just take of your clothes already? Then he'll show you what he wants. Mark sat down and looked at her in a special way. Remarks like that don't suit you, Sheila. Sheila didn't realize she said it to loud and that Mark heard what she just said. Her face turned red and she looked down at her hands. Sorry, that wasn't meant to be heard by anyone. No that's not what bothers me, Mark answered. You know me for 8 years now. Is this the way you look at me, after all this time? For the first time ever, Sheila felt like crying of something she said. No of course not, she said softly. Well I am not convinced sweetie. I want to know! How do you look at me? Sheila felt the ground disappeared underneath her. If he only knew, how she saw him. She would rather die, than tell him how she really felt. Oh Mark please, I am sorry okay. I am nervous and scared of flying and just popped out something I shouldn't have said. Mark silenced, but kept on looking at her. I give you time to think this over, but we will definitely continue this conversation, because it would really bother me if you saw me like some toy boy. Who's a toy boy? Nicky asked when he bended over their chairs. Or does our Sheila want a toy boy? We can arrange that sweetie. You already have four of them, you just need to pick one and he started to laugh out loud. Sheila shortly closed her eyes and tried to smile at Nicky, who was always in for a joke and made the best party out of life. She adored him for that, but not at this moment. Mark shook his head. Leave her alone. She is scared of flying and cranky because of that. Still a bit irritated by her remark, he turned around in his chair to fasten his seatbelt and without asking, helped Sheila with hers. His hand stroke against her thighs when he pushed the seatbelt into the lock. If we crash, I want us to crash safe, he said to Sheila but his smile wasn't so bright as it normally was. Sheila realized, she had really hurt his feelings. She would definitely apologize, but not now, maybe later.....when he was asleep here next to her.

Slowly she heart the motors of the airplane running faster and faster as they drove along the landing trip. Her heart was beating wildly now and she squeezed the arms of the chair tightly, when she felt the plane getting up into the air. Suddenly she felt Mark's hand on hers. She look aside with fear in her eyes. He didn't say anything, but his eyes looked so soft and gentle in hers, that she forgot her complete fear of flying. The only fear she felt now, was that one day she wouldn't be able to resist these gorgeous blue eyes anymore. Without thinking, she bended over and kissed him on his cheek. I am sorry, she whispered, I really am. I know you are, he answered softly and his other hand caressed her cheek. Sheila felt her skin burn under his touch, but he wasn't aloud to know that. For him it was a friendly touch to someone who he didn't wanted to lose as a friend, that's all. She put her back against the chair and said with a smile, maybe sleeping isn't such a bad idea after all. Thanks Mark for the tip. She closed her eyes, wishing Mark would take away his hand of hers, but climbing higher and higher up into the sky, it didn't change the position of his hand. And shortly, just shortly she thought she could feel his heartbeat going a faster as well, while laying on her hand. But she new for sure that would be caused because of the excitement of getting up into the sky. Yes, she knew that for sure....