My Lighthouse

Regret

Sheila's phone buzzed for the millionth time. She wanted to look, but she refused to listen to his excuses. Gillian saw her looking in the direction of her phone. Oh for God sake sweetie, pick up that phone and look at it. Sheila and Gillian were watching a movie, while drinking a nice white wine instead of tea and some snacks. Without telling the other, they both didn't follow the movie at all. Oh alright, Sheila moaned. I have to face it sooner or later, although I prefer not at all, really. Gillian laughed. You're funny you know that? You should see me when I am drunk, she smirked. Deal! Gillian laughed again, but stopped when she saw Sheila's face. What does he write? It's not Mark, it's Louis Walsh. Louis Walsh? Why? He wants me to go back, she mumbled softly while she stared at the screen of her phone. It's one big mess over there and .....Sheila silenced. She looked again, Mark wants to leave Africa within three days, after the charity ball. But they aren't finished within three days, Sheila said irritated. We didn't do so much effort to let a spoiled brat destroy our recordings. What is he thinking?! Louis asked me to call him, but that was three hours ago. Sheila moaned, oh Lord! She texted Louis, if she still had to call him now. She immediately got a text message back with just plain and clear, yes! She excused herself to Gillian and called Louis.

Sheila couldn't believe she got Louis on his knees. It seemed, that without knowing, all four lads had called Louis to say that they were sick and tired of everything and they wanted to come home. The charity ball would be in three days and after that they didn't wanted to stay one day longer. Well boys, Sheila said to her image in the mirror, let's see about that. Gillian would be leaving in one day anyway, so Sheila decided to go together with her. She wouldn't go to the ball, but to take care of everything without them seeing her. Christie was watching her adopted daughter, packing her things again to go back to Africa. Would she mind seeing Mark again? Sheila had told Christie what happened, but also had her doubts about the real story. The day after, Kian had send her loads of text messages about what really happened, according to him, and he apologized for the whole situation. Sheila didn't wanted to respond at first, but after a while she wrote him, that she had seen that Mark even had his eyes closed when that Jacky girl kissed him. You don't close your eyes if you don't like it, she wrote him. And nevertheless those girls were all naked, if they hadn't liked that they could have asked them to put on some clothes. She kept on writing, that after all these years, they should have known better. Kian noticed it had no use. He couldn't fix what he had destroyed and he felt miserable about it. He told Sheila, Mark didn't wanted to talk to him at the moment and that this whole situation was very bad for the working atmosphere. Kian knew Sheila would hate it, if she heard that, but instead she answered, He should have thought about that, before he kissed her! Sheila wrote it with an exclamation mark at the end of the sentence and left it to that. She didn't wanted to answer anymore. She felt miserable enough .

She had promised Louis to go, but not to the hotel they were staying in. She would take care of business, but nothing more than that and after her return she wanted a meeting about her job within Westlife. Because after everything that had happened, it was clear to Louis there was no one, other than Sheila, capable of handling this job. But did she still want the job? Even Sheila didn't know anymore. She told Louis not to tell the boys she was coming, only John and the director had to know, that was all. He had already agreed on Gillian's presence during the charity ball, so he had to promise her again, not to tell Shane and to leave them alone. She didn't wanted Louis to interfere in their relationship as well. But Louis just looked at her and said, Gillian doesn't work for me and I don't love her the way I love you. You are like a daughter to me and I don't want you to get hurt anymore. Louis didn't know about the pictures and the naked girls and she wanted to leave it to that. But she was moved by Louis's sweet words. And when she was ready to leave the office to pack, she kissed him on his forehead and said she loved him too. Louis had taken her by the hand and opened a closet to take out a black clothing bag. What's this? If you may change your mind sweetheart......., Louis said with tears in his eyes. I am sorry. I took it with me when we left Africa, but I think you should be present there. Sheila saw the words of the fashion label Chanel printed on the outside and knew what it was, but she never saw the dress. Don't you want to see what I picked out for you? Oh Louis, why are you doing this? She whispered while tears fell down her face. He opened the bag while he told her, I got the tapes of the recordings yesterday. I saw what you did to his state of mind. The way the two of you were working together there. You set him free. I never saw that look in Mark's eyes before. You also did a hell of a good job over there. I thought you couldn't separate love between work, but you did. I was wrong. And I admit that I was wrong. Please except my apologies and go and have some fun too. Tears kept falling down her face. She couldn't tell him what had happened and looked at the dress which Louis got out of the bag now. It was a breathtaking long black dress with a tight body on top and a beautiful wider skirt underneath. The skirt of the dress was made of several parts, so while walking, parts of the leg would be visible. Sheila touched the dress and the fabric fell like water between her fingers. She kissed Louis on his cheek, put the dress back into the bag and closed the zipper. We will see, she answered and took the bag into her arms with the attention to never wear it. Louis smiled and wished her lots of fun.

Mark took his phone from the nightstand and looked at it for the millionth time. Still no answer. Lots of text messages from Kian though, but Mark didn't know what to answer. He wasn't angry at Kian anymore, he was angry of himself. Like Sheila said through the phone, he should have know better after all these years. He looked at the pictures again and saw she was right. He had his eyes closed, he was enjoying this naked body in his arms for just a few seconds, but he immediately realized, that what he was thinking of was as if he had Sheila in his arms. He missed her and longed for her and when Jacky pressed her body against his he just shortly wanted to believe, it was Sheila instead of someone else. Never he had thought, about a stupid bimbo who would take his phone and make pictures of it. That's why he understood Sheila's anger. He took the little velvet box of his nightstand and opened it. He knew she was angry, but he also hoped that somewhere deep in her heart, she would still love him. As soon as he would arrive in Ireland, he would try to find out if she did. He looked at the ring in the box, with a beautiful diamond on top and tears filled his eyes. He felt a pain in his stomach he had never felt before. He closed the box and put it back into the draw of his nightstand. Suddenly he heard someone knocking on his door. Who would be there at this time of night? Mark are you there? It was Nicky. Mark opened the door and Nicky walked in. He buddy, Nicky said and slapped him softly on the shoulder. A beer, Mark asked him. Sure. Nicky silenced and watched Mark walking around the kitchen getting them a drink and some snacks. You couldn't sleep either huh? Mark asked him, while he gave him his beer. Listen Mark, Nicky started. We have to talk with the four of us. What happened yesterday, was mostly Kian and mine fault. We didn't think properly, because Sheila was always the one who guided us in our thinking when it came to dating. We talked about it already, but we want to ask Louis to bring her back into our team. Nicky stared at his hands. We miss her too, although in a different way than you do. Still, we don't know what your feeling is about this. Mark frowned. Why? You know I love her more than anything, but if she doesn't want to work with me again, you can ask Louis whatever you want, but she will be saying no anyway. Nicky looked at Mark and decided to tell him, what he had heard John say to their director. She's coming back to Africa Mark. Mark looked up in shock. She's what?! When? She's in the plane now, she will be here tomorrow, Nicky answered and he couldn't get his smile of his face when he saw Mark's excitement. But be careful buddy, she's not coming here for you. Louis was furious about how things were going and he wanted her here for the charity ball, before that goes wrong as well. Mark started to walk around the room. I have to see her! I have to talk to her! When she sees me she will know I am not lying. Mark! Nicky tried to get his attention. She won't be staying here in our hotel. And she asked John not to tell anyone that she's here. But you know John, he can never keep his mouth shut. And I think he feels very guilty about it all. He should be too! Mark said out loud. It's his fault in the first place. In which hotel is she staying? Mark heard the name of the hotel and knew how fancy that was. If she didn't want to let anyone near her, she would succeed in that there. But he wasn't Mark Feehily from Westlife for nothing. He never used his name for his own benefit, but now he would. His heart was beating like crazy, he would see her tomorrow! He couldn't wait. Nicky didn't know if it was wise to tell his friend, Sheila was coming, but he didn't care. He hoped Mark was right. Maybe if she would see him, she would forgive him. But Nicky also knew, if Sheila was angry and irritated it was better to avoid her for a few days. And those days weren't over yet....