My Lighthouse

Facing demons

Mark looked at his phone irritated, while he heard Sheila's voice for at least the twentieth time. Not the voice he wanted to hear though. It was her voicemail. "Pick up that damn phone Sheila", he said, knowing she wouldn't hear him anyway. With his thumb he scrolled through his address book, until he found what he was searching for. The phone ran. Once, twice...."Christie Edwards speaking". Mark sighed. "Christie it's Mark. Do you know where Sheila is?" He asked her this question, knowing she would have his answer. She had been with her during all examinations, whole day, so she would know for sure. "She's here Mark", he heard Christie say, but he also heard the sad tone in her voice. She tried to hide it, though not successfully. "What's wrong with her Christie?" "Why should there be something wrong?" Mark got irritated. Although he was far away from her, it didn't meant he couldn't be there for her. "Sheila would always have let me know how she's doing. Why doesn't she pick up her phone? I've called her at least twentieth times. I have to get on stage within half an hour. I want to know how she is!"

Christie realized , Mark would never expect the answer she would give him now, but she had no choice. "Sheila is laying in bed Mark. She was exhausted of all the examinations and the memories it brought up. Maybe it's better if you call her tomorrow. I will tell her you've called." Christie heard Mark taking a deep breath. "I don't have a choice, have I?" His voice was low and sad. Christie's heart was bleeding. She felt so sorry for this young couple, who had to deal with problems almost no one had. Doing the thing he loved to do most, brought him wealth and fame, but the price to pay got higher when years passed by. Even the woman he loved so much, had to pay a very high price now. Sheila had cried herself to sleep, when they came home. She missed Mark terribly. And after the tense faces Sheila had seen all day, she needed his comforting blue eyes.

"I am sorry Mark" Christie almost whispered in the phone. Mark closed his eyes, while he tried to straighten up his mind. The way she said "I am sorry Mark", felt like there was more to be sorry about. Sheila had got bad news and they weren't aloud to tell him. He knew how "the machine" worked. He felt tears coming up, but didn't wanted to cry. Not while he had Christie on the phone. Not even if he would have had Sheila on the phone. He didn't wanted to let anyone know, how he felt right now. "I know", Mark whispered back at her. "Tell her I love her, okay? I have to go now. I'll call her tomorrow." Without saying goodbye, he hung up the phone. Christie stared at her phone, while tears slowly crawled down her face. She had promised Sheila so many years ago, to protect her from harm, but she realized for the hundreds time, she couldn't keep her promise. Disappointments were a part of life. This way, you appreciated the beautiful moments more. But some disappointments were just to hard to bear.

Okay! Are we ready?! Shane shouted. He looked at his three best friends and smiled. Let's get this show on the road! They all hugged each other and slapped each other on the back. Mark responded like he always did, to not let them know how sad and confused he actually felt inside. What he didn't know, was that Nicky overheard his conversation with Christie. He hadn't heard the answers Christie gave, but those weren't hard to guess according to the response Mark had given her. He hugged Mark longer than he normally did and Mark didn't let go either. He needed his friend, even if he couldn't tell him why. Nicky looked him in the eyes and pulled up the corners of his mouth. He saw the pain in Mark's eyes, but couldn't help him now. "I know", was the only thing Nicky could say. But it was enough for Mark. He put his arm around his friend and walked up to the stage. Words weren't needed. Mark realized Nicky knew.

Sheila opened her eyes. It was still dark outside, but looking at the alarm clock, she realized the day would start any time soon. Inside of her it felt different. Like the sun would never raise again. It took a moment before she realized she wasn't home in Mark's house....their house, like he loved to correct her, but in Christie's  house. It was the only thing she was glad about now. Being home with her adoptive mother, always felt good. They had planned to stay in London after the examinations, but after the horrible news she got yesterday, she only wanted to go home. Within an hour, the plain had taken them home on Irish grounds. Sheila put her hand on her belly. Tears searched their way out of her eyes and crawled down into her ear. She wanted to have Mark's children so badly. They gave her 5% chance of a pregnancy after  surgery. 5% was nothing. 5% was a miracle and Sheila didn't believe in miracles.