My Lighthouse

Painfull love

"Mark.......Mark...." like a whisper from above Mark heard his name softly calling. When he looked up, Sheila's eyes were still closed, but her fingers gently touched his face as he was still laying on the bed. "Hi beautiful", he whispered and saw tears appearing in the corner of her eyes and slowly crawling down towards her ears. "Why are you here sweetie?" Sheila asked softly and sighed. "You should be in Berlin". Mark wanted to say so much, but the right words just didn't came to mind. He took her hand and kissed it over and over again. Sheila felt his tears falling down on her skin. "Please don't cry"she whispered and shortly silenced for a moment before she asked, "Do they have him?" "Did he.....?" Mark knew what she wanted to ask, but couldn't get the word "rape" over his lips. "No he didn't. The police interrupted him, before he could do you more harm". Sheila tried to smile, when she said cynical, "more harm?" "As in, more harm than he did now?" She shook her head and closed her eyes again when she saw Mark frowning because of her unfriendly remark. "I am sorry", she excused herself immediately and pushed her head deeper into the cushions while she turned it away from him. "I shouldn't have said that". "If only the police had warned us, that they let him go out of jail", Sheila said softly.

He heard her take a deep breath. "Did Dave talk to you?" " yes, he did" Mark answered. He finally got a smile on his face, when he gently kissed her hand and said "the baby is alright sweetheart". "Oh Mark..." Sheila started crying and hit her other hand before her face, thinking of how different she had wanted to tell him this beautiful news. They were going to have a baby and everything was looking great, doctor Dave had told her after the ultrasound. He had put the device on her naked belly, expecting to see how surgery had recovered the damages in her uterus, when he got totally shocked by the sound of a baby heart beating wildly inside of her. Sheila didn't understand at first what was going on, thinking it was her own heartbeat. Till Dave had looked at her with a huge smile on his face and said "he or she has already changed our plans Sheila". Sheila had shaken her head in disbelief, while tears came in her eyes. She had been glad as well as scared. Dave had comfort her, by saying that everything was looking great and healthy and he would guide her through the whole process of her pregnancy, so she would not need to worry about a thing and she stood outside the hospital before she could really understand what just happened in there. Sheila had slightly been in a shock, because she had not been prepared for the news Doctor Dave had given her that day. Though deep inside of her, there was nothing she had wanted to do more, than step into that plain to Berlin and surprise Mark with the good news. Though now Mark got on the plain back to her and not because he was so glad of them getting a baby.

"I know you wanted to tell me, when I would come home next week." Mark started. "And I know we definitely wanted a better start for our pregnancy than this, but sweetheart...."  He shortly silenced to swallow the tears away. "What ever people try to do to drive us apart, they won't succeed. We're only getting stronger. No one will ever push me away from you. And I also won't leave you alone anymore like this. No matter what Louis says or does". He looked at her damaged face and carefully caressed her with the back of his hand, while Sheila gently stroke his arm.

Sheila as well as Mark didn't spoke for a while. Both lost in their own thoughts, when Sheila suddenly tried to open her eyes to look at Mark. She wanted to know what was going on in his mind. In his eyes she saw the pain and anger he felt inside. "I am so sorry" she whispered "I should have been more carefully and put on the alarm.........". "I didn't had a chance to escape Mark. He was so strong." She carefully stroke her neck, which was full of bruises after Ian had tried to strangle her, to let her stop screaming. "I was shocked when I heard the news, that I was pregnant and forgot to turn on the lights as well as the alarm. I felt the broken glass underneath my shoes when I entered the kitchen, but it was already to late. He grabbed me from behind." Mark saw the fear on her face and realized she was reliving the whole drama all over again. He wanted her to stop, before she got to upset, but it was already to late. While tears floated down her face, Sheila put her arms around her chest, as if she wanted to protect herself against Ian again. "He tore up my clothes" Sheila cried. "And he grabbed me all over. He said he wanted to let me feel what a real man felt like. Then I realized what he was going to do to me". Mark saw her heartbeat going up on the heart monitor. Please Sheila, don't do this to yourself. Please sweetie", he begged her. Though Sheila continued as if she didn't hear him, "he smashed me against my face and when I was on the floor, trying not to lose consciousness, I heard the metal of his belt. I knew he was pulling down his trousers." "Oh Mark I was so scared!" "I knew....I " she mumbled, "the baby..... I couldn't protect it!"

Mark tried to pull her up from the bed as carefully as he possibly could, to take her in his arms, while they both cried. Both feeling helpless and both having a feeling of failure, each in their own way. "Please don't Sheila, please..." Mark begged her. "Stop this" "I am here and I won't go anywhere". "The police is after him and they will get him for sure. You're safe now sweetheart " Sheila heard his words, but realized even though they sounded like music to her ears, he would leave her one day to go on tour again. So either ways, now as well as in the future she would have to learn to trust her environment again, like she had done all this time before the attack. Sheila lay her head on his shoulder and tried to enjoy the feeling of his hands on her body. Although it hurt her to hold on to him this way, she didn't matter. His large arms made her feel safe. Something she needed so badly right now. While she slowly calmed down, she run with her hand through his hair and her other stroke his back. "I love you so much and I am so sorry I wasn't there for you" she heard Mark say. And although she wanted to comfort him with the right words, she couldn't get a sound over her lips. She would tell him later, that this was their life. "Being apart together" she had told him the last time he went away. And as long as she knew he loved her and he would always be there for her when times were rough, they would do just fine.

Mark held his head slightly backwards to look at her, before he bended down while his lips touched hers as gentle as he could. He saw in the way she responded, that she hadn't expected his lips and she smiled shyly. Her face still hurt, but Mark's lips would heal her for sure. "Does that hurt when I kiss you?" Mark asked, as if he could read her mind and he looked worried. "I don't know for sure" Sheila giggled now, desperately trying to feel better than she just did. "Can you try that again?" He laughed softly. "Getting naughty already Missis Feehily?" She pouted her lips. "So no kisses?" Slowly she opened her eyes and tried to smile. Her left eye was quite good, but her right eye was blue, purple and yellow and heavily swollen. Mark felt so sorry for her and wished he could heal her in an instant.

He took her head between his hands, his eyes shining like never before and whispered, while his lips almost touched hers "hi mummy, may I be the daddy to your child?" Sheila grinned and saw her love reflected in his eyes. "Oh yes please" "You are going to be the best father in the whole world". She had kissed him so often before, but as their lips gently touched, it felt like the first time. Butterflies fluttered through her stomach, when she felt the warmth of his lips on hers. Sheila moaned softly as the softness of his beautiful well-shaped lips on hers felt so good, but also hurt because of the pain, Ian's fist had caused on her face.

Suddenly the door opened and Dave entered the room with a nurse walking behind him. " Ah, my favorite patient is awake!" He said happily, but Sheila had only eyes for the two police officers who were standing in front the door. The ones she hadn't seen, because the door had been closed all the time she was awake. What's this? She asked  pointing at the two man and looked at Mark and Dave with fear and anger on her face. They both didn't answer at first and Mark bit his lip, hoping Dave would gave an explanation first, when Sheila tried to get out of the bed and put her legs onto the floor. And with a very angry look on her face she said, " if they can't find him, I will. I am not going to wait here until he comes and finishes what he has started. I am going home!.........."