My Lighthouse

Time to say goodbye

Mark noticed something had changed. She wasn't that easy going anymore, although she tried her best to act like it. The pool barbecue was a great success for everyone except for Mark and the lads. They all knew something was going to change and meanwhile Mark had informed the boys that he wouldn't take crap from anyone anymore, what his love life was concerned. He finally found someone he really loved and he didn't wanted to loose her, no matter what. But what he didn't know, was where Sheila actually was hanging out and that she already knew what was going on. They looked for her everywhere and finally Kian found her in the bar of the hotel. He noticed she had been drinking to much, the minute he lay eyes on her. Kian sweetie, she had shouted. Do you still love me? I as hell do love you and she crawled into his arms when he tried to take her away with him. Sheila thought, Kian most likely, knew everything too, just like Nicky and Shane. They all knew, something was going to happen, except her. She had given her life for her lads and now they betrayed her, by not telling her anything. Hadn't she deserved honesty, after all these years? She felt sick to her stomach when she thought about it, what would happen if she really lost her job. They had become her family. She didn't had anyone else. Sure Christie was her family too, but she would always be there for her. Oh my God Christie, Sheila whispered. She didn't know anything yet. She would call her next thing tomorrow. Now she felt to sick and Sheila grinned while she was hanging in Kian's arms. She realizedd she was drunk and she didn't care at all.

Mark saw Kian walking towards the pool with Sheila in his arms. It broke his heart so see her this way. He realized she knew something. Maybe not that Louis was coming, because no one had told her that, but she knew the boys for so long, that she could make a connection between rumors and situations which were bad for business. She knew, more than anyone else, how the music business worked. She had always protected them against rumors which were bad for their careers. I think it's better you take her to her cottage, Kian said softly to Mark. I think so too, Mark whispered looking at her. I think so too, Sheila said out loud smiling, but inside she cried out loud. Her heart was broken and it hurt like hell.

Mark lifted her up into his arms and like if it was the place where she belonged, she immediately put her arms around his neck and her face against his chest, while she pulled up her legs against his body. Why wasn't this meant to be? She cried inside. They both loved each other so much. Why was she bad for Mark's image? I love you, she whispered and closed her eyes. I love you too, Mark answered and tears fell down his face. He realized, she knew it had to end. When they arrived at her cottage, Mark helped her to undress and carefully lay her down onto the bed. They didn't speak, but both felt a pain inside they couldn't handle. After Mark undressed himself, he lay next to her and put his arms around her to pull her close. She felt his breath against her skin and closed her eyes. Emotions were floating through her body until she couldn't take it no more. Tears were falling down her face and she started to cry. Mark didn't ask her what was wrong, he already knew and without speaking he pulled her even more close and cried with her. Life was unfair for them and they didn't wanted to except that, but they were afraid they didn't had any choice. Contracts within the music business were heartless and there was no place for love within these contracts. Money had to be earned, nothing more nothing less. Mark had already talked to Shane about it and the longer they spoke, the more sad Mark became. Whatever Louis came to tell them, he had no choice but listening to him and for the first time in his life he hated to be a member of Westlife.

The next day, the lads would perform in the hotel. Their working day in in the heat of the savanna would be shorter that day, so they could practice for their mini concert. They had extra privileges in the hotel, because they promised at arrival to perform there during their stay, which was a lot of extra income for the hotel. Mark tried to do his best to smile during filming the video, but he just couldn't pick up the pieces. As soon as the camera was of, Mark's face was sad and his mood cranky. No one said anything about it, because they all understood why he acted like this.

When they woke up this morning, Mark and Sheila had made love in such a beautiful way, with so much emotions, it couldn't get any better than this. They both cried afterwards, like it was their goodbye towards each other. Arriving in the breakfast room, everyone was quiet and hardly said a word. The difference between the days before were huge and everyone wished the outcome would be different than it probably would be now. Sheila could hardly eat and although Mark tried to change her mind to eat some more, he didn't succeed. Her heart was broken to never be meant again.

When they arrived at the resort, Mark went to the hotel with the lads to freshen up and start rehearsing, but his mind wasn't there. He felt the panic and frustration running through his body. He wanted to scream, that he didn't wanted all this, but he realized it had no use. Tomorrow Louis would arrive and he would hear soon enough, what they had decided for Mark to do. Shane started to sing and the technicians corrected the sound as the song continued. It was Mark's turn now but during his singing Nicky put his arm around his shoulder and Mark snapped. He just couldn't stop crying and swearing. The boys decided to stop the rehearsal and went up to Mark suite to talk about everything. They weren't just sad about Mark's love life but also what Mark had decided if Louis would pull everything through. The contracts would end within two years and Mark had told them, he would definitely stop after that, if they forced Sheila to walk out of his life right now. Suddenly they heard noise in the hallway and knocking on the door after that. Shane opened the door and saw Louis standing in the doorway. He was a day early.

Sheila received a text message from Mark if she would be able to come to his hotel room. There were things to be said, he wrote, but she noticed about his message that he didn't wrote this without instructions from someone else. Louis was here. She knew. Maybe that's why Mark wrote the message in a way, he would never had done that. To warn her. She looked into the mirror, if she looked good enough to face Louis and to hear what he had to say. Her heart was beating like crazy.
When she knocked on Mark's door, Louis opened. Hello Louis, she said friendly and kissed him on the cheek. Louis looked at her with amazement on his face. What had happened to her? She was looking so good and he didn't understand. Suddenly he felt guilty about what he had to say to her. Mark had done her right. He knew her life's story and he wished her all the happiness in the world, but not with Mark. She worked for him and it was just "not done" to have a relationship with the one you worked for. And Sheila knew that. Mark was standing in front of the balcony door with his back towards them and stared outside without seeing anything. She walked up to him, put her hands against his arms and kissed his neck. It's okay, she whispered. I already knew. Mark wasn't able to turn around, knowing he would start crying if he did. Sheila saw his jaws tighten of the tension he felt inside. Sheila, please sit down dear, Louis said. Sheila sat down and heard the whole story, which she heard so often in the eight years she had worked for him. Tomorrow Louis would be leaving to Ireland again and would be taken her with him. He would try to find her a new job within the firm, but nothing which had to do with Westlife. And the charity ball? Sheila asked softly. There will be much more balls where you can attend to, Louis said and asked her to pack her things. At first Louis wanted to stay in the room, but Mark asked him to leave. All this time he hadn't turned around. He just couldn't. But when Louis took his bag to leave the room, he turned around. His face was emotionless. Just to be clear about this, in two years our contract will end and so will our relationship. I will stop after that. We will talk about that later Louis smiled, but Mark didn't smile at all. No! That's my decision now and it will be the same after two years. He walked towards the door and opened it. You may own me now, but not for ever, he said firmly but sad as well. Louis walked out of the door and doubted if he had made the right choice this time. He would talk to Shane about it and left to his hotel suite.

Mark closed the door and just looked at her. Suddenly she fell in his arms and cried while they passionately kissed each other and caressed their bodies all over. Within seconds their clothes lay on the floor and she jumped in his arms with her legs tightly around him. He pushed her against the wall while they kept on kissing each other, Sheila's hands running through his hair and she felt his excitement against her soft spot. Their passion was untamable and it would always stay that way. Still they also realized, it would be hard on their relationship if Mark would be away so much for two years. They didn't wanted to think about that now and with her body wrapped around his, he lay her down on the bed and without any words spoken he glide inside of her to passionately make love to her. What ever happened, he would never find anyone else to make love with, the way he did with her. When their hearts were calm again and their breathing normal, it was time to get ready for the concert. Time to say goodbye....