My Lighthouse

"A little help from my friends"

Shane looked at her, while he gently rubbed her hand. I just don't know what to say Sheila. I also saw it happen at the Graham Norton show back then. I think he got scared because of all the questions. He probably also realized, that they would be bothering him with the same questions over and over again, until the two of you would be married. Shane looked at the tearful face of his dear friend. But you also have to realize sweetheart, that Mark is our best friend and we are all devastated to see him this way. The two of you need to talk before we go to China. Otherwise I am scared what it would do with him there. It's not your intention to lose him, is it? Sheila looked at Shane in shock. Oh no! I can't live without him, you know that! But I want him to be sure about our love. I reached my hand out for him twice and twice he didn't take it, because somewhere in his mind or heart he had second thoughts. Why Shane? What if I had been pregnant and there would be a child somewhere along the line? What if he chickened out on me then? I don't want to be in a relationship where the passion is great, but it can fade away if he opens up to other women. Don't be silly, Shane said a bit irritated. I never saw two people being more in love with each other, than the two of you. The love and passion in your eyes, when you look at each other is indescribable. Why not just take that chance with him? What does it matter, if he slightly has his thoughts about everything now? Don't we always, about long terms decisions in life? I love Gillian more than everything, but I would have the same feelings too. Marriage is for always. That's the way our parents taught us. But it's a strange feeling, when you say forever. Sheila frowned while she tried to understand what Shane was telling her, when someone knocked on Shane's hotel room door.

Nicky entered the room, with his phone in his hand. Oh, you're here, he said when he saw Sheila sitting on the edge of Shane's bed. Louis just called, he had to talk some things through, but couldn't reach you. Sheila looked around. Oh yes! I forgot my phone. Do you still have him on? She pointed at his phone. No, you just need to call him back. Sheila looked at Nicky's face. From the moment he heard, Sheila took a step backwards in her relationship with Mark, he treated her differently than he did before. The way they always laughed together and make jokes, had slightly changed. Nicky blamed Sheila for what she had done to Mark.

It had been almost two weeks now, that Sheila left London. The U.K. Tour would take just one more week, before they would leave for China. They would have been a week off first and then they wouldn't return home earlier, than after two months. From the moment Sheila walked out of his door in London, she had tried to act as normal as she could. The concert on that particular evening went great for the people who weren't involved. But the whole team, including Sheila saw the difference in Mark's performance. Sheila had transformed herself again in this not notable girl, with her glasses on and clothes that couldn't distract Mark in any way. Well at least that's what she thought.

Mark was devastated about it all, but he was professional enough to put his feelings aside when he stood on stage. Outside the stage, he went of to his hotel room as quick as possible, to only appear again when they needed him at the rehearsals. He bummed into her all day, like they always did, but this time he didn't grab her at her waist to hug her, or touch her face and kiss her passionately. Although he wanted to, he felt so confused by it all, that he chose to leave her alone for a while. Maybe she was right. If they would take some distance between each other, they would appreciate more what they had together. They talked to each other, but only which was needed to be said. Only once, he couldn't help himself when she was dressing him up before the show as the others left the room already. They had looked in each other's eyes and Mark had put his hand under her chin and kissed her gently. Sheila had immediately opened her lips for him and his heartbeat had gone through the roof, when their kiss got more passionate. But when Freddy called for her, the magic disappeared.

They had twirled around each other for almost two weeks now and everyone agreed on it, that it was time to set something up, so they would meet again outside the theaters where they were working all the time. Even Louis realized something had to change, because this was not a good atmosphere for anyone involved with the show and that were a lot of people. Today they had a television performance and tomorrow was a day off from everything so Nicky, Shane, and Kian had decided to go and visit a local pub tonight. Just a small one outside of Edinburgh, so it wouldn't be crowded with Westlife fans. Mark didn't say anything, but Nicky convinced him it was good to take his mind of things. In the meanwhile, the dance crew had convinced Sheila to go along with them as well, but they had arranged with the boys, they would go early in the evening and eat there as well, so Sheila wouldn't suspect a thing and she would be completely at ease before they would enter the bar. Now it was Shane's task to get her out of his hotel room, as positive about Mark and their relationship as possible. He blinked at Nicky, without Sheila seeing it and turned around at her.

Okay, you know what? You call Louis and listen to what he has to say and then you go out with the crew and have some fun tonight all right? You can't keep sobbing about it and don't live your life anymore. So take of those glasses, put on a nice dress and have some fun. He pulled her of the bed, kissed her on her cheek and softly pushed her towards the door. Sheila passed Nicky and without thinking she hugged him tight. I understand, she whispered. I would have done the same if you had hurt Gina that way. She looked at him and saw a smile on his face. A real smile, not a smile because he had to. He meant it. Don't be to hard on him, sweetie. Nicky said softly. He didn't do anything wrong. He only got scared a bit, that's all. But he never doubted his love for you. Never! Sheila's heart missed a beat, when Nicky said this to her. Maybe he was right. Did she see it to dramatically. She walked out of Shane's hotel room, feeling so much better than before she went in. She decided to listen to them and have some fun tonight. Maybe she would go and talk to Mark tomorrow. But first she was ready for some fun again.

Mark took a deep breath. Why is it so bad if you leave without me? Can't I have an opinion of my own? I am not in the mood for a party right now. Kian hit him on the back. A party? Who's talking about a party? We're just going to have a pine at the local pub here. And leave on time before we get to drunk. Mark laughed. You never succeeded in that, so you won't be this time, but okay! I understand you need someone, who looks after you. He slabbed Kian on the shoulder and smiled. All right! To get you of my back, I go along tonight, but tomorrow I am aloud to do whatever I want to do for myself, okay? Fine by me! Kian answered laughing. Oh and Mark? Please shave yourself for tonight, Kian said with a serious look on his face and turned around to leave his room. Mark closed the door behind him, mumbling something like he wasn't intend to kiss anyone that evening anyway, but strangely enough he listened to Kian.

Sheila walked behind Freddy and Layla into the pub. It was a beautiful local pub, like you could only find on the countryside. A lot of cities all over the world tried to copy pubs like this, but without the local magic they were never the same as the original once. She felt at ease the moment she walked in. Mark and the boys would never come here, she knew that for sure. She smiled at John who was finally recovered of his car accident and worked side to side with Sheila now, to get him into the rhythm again. She stroke with her hands over her little black dress and wondered if she wasn't overdressed for an establishment like this. But as their whole group entered the bar, the locals looked anyway, so Sheila decided not to worry about that and just have some fun.

The food was delicious and the pines she drank tasted better then ever. They all sat at a long table which was placed in the middle of the pub and they had so much fun together. Louis had given her the address and ordered her to have some fun tonight. It slightly surprised her that he said this so specifically, but she didn't thought anything of it. Sheila had called him the day after, to tell him all about it and he advised her to take some time to think about it, when they would leave for China. It surprised her then as he did now, that he wasn't negative. He didn't say, "I told you so". He more likely sounded as if he felt sorry about it. Sheila stopped trying to understand the way he thought. It was much to complex for her. Her mind needed some time of too. So she did was she was expected to do and tonight it was having some fun.

She looked around the table and couldn't stop smiling because of the great feeling this special group of people had given her this evening. She also found out, that she wasn't the only one who loved someone within their group. Freddy and Layla, one of the background singers, seemed to be madly in love with each other. Sheila would never had thought of the two of them together, but looking at them tonight made her realize that the outside didn't always reflected the feeling on the inside. Suddenly she missed Mark like crazy. She wanted to hold his hand too, like Freddy did with Layla. Or look into his eyes again and see her love and passions reflected in them. She shortly closed her eyes, when Dean, one of the other background singers, suddenly said out loud, Sheila, they have karaoke here. Would you like to join me sweetie? They all screamed and wowed that she had to do it. And probably because she drank to much pines, she stood up and took Dean's hand to walk towards the Karaoke machine. May we? She asked the bartender. He smiled brightly and answered while his eyes touched her whole body, you may sing for me any time sweetheart. Sheila blushed and took the microphones of the bar and handed one over to Dean. Which one? Sheila asked and without a doubt Dean said, "When you tell me that you love me". Sheila felt a knife stabbing in her heart. It was her song which she sang together with Mark. But instead of sobbing about it, she nodded and brought the mic to her lips....