My Lighthouse

The moment of truth

Mark watched from a distance how Dave checked on Sheila's body and the computer results. He was still in a bit of a shock after she suddenly lost consciousness and the doctors came running in together with the screaming noise of the heart monitor. Christie stood beside him, with tears in her eyes. She always had been a strong woman, especially with all the experience she had as a nurse herself. Even screaming hospital devices couldn't really unsettle her. But this time it concerned her sweet adopted daughter and she felt Sheila's pain throughout her whole body. Looking at Mark, he wasn't doing any better than she did. She never saw him that pale and a pearl of sweat appeared on his forehead which found its way down along his temples.

We are going to give her a higher dose of morphine, so we can get her through the night, Dave said while he already sprayed the fluid through the needle which they connected in her hand. Mark could hardly bear seeing her this way. Doctors working around her, without saying a word made him very nervous. Why did she had such a downfall? She was doing great when she just opened her eyes. She even got some small talk, until it went wrong two hours later. Mark had begged her to stay strong and stay with him until Dave asked him to go aside.

Mark knew he only got four days to be in London until he had to be back in China again. In those four days, the lads had to give television interviews and photo shoots which wasn't necessary for Mark to be present at. Sure his fans were very disappointed that he wasn't there in the television studios. They had been waiting all day to catch a glimpse of their idols, but at this point Sheila was more important to him than all the fans in the world. The photo shoots where more easyly, as they could add his picture to the once already taken with Shane, Nicky and Kian on it.

The lights in the room were turned down, the machines softly beeping. It was night already. Earlier that evening Mark had advised Christie to go home to get some good night sleep. It had no use to stay here overnight for the both of them. Mark didn't wanted to go anywhere, so that wasn't an option. When he promised her to call her as soon as something went wrong, Christie had taken her handbag, kissed Sheila goodnight, hugged Mark intensely and left home with tears in her eyes. The door had softly closed behind her, leaving Mark behind in a strange serene silence. The only thing he could hear was the beeping sound of the machines and Sheila's regular breathing. He turned around, took a deep breath and walked back to her bed. He stared down on her, feeling his heart missing beat after beat.

The morphine had taken away her pain which gave her face a sweet and soft expression. Her long blond hair was spread over her cushion, looking like a beautiful angel. Mark carefully freshened up her face with a washcloth, trying to cool down her warm skin. His eyes followed every curve of her face as he gently stroke her forehead along her cheek down to her slim neck. Her beautiful neck which he had kissed and caressed so often. He knew exactly which piece of her skin could put her body on fire. And fire she had given him! More than anyone would ever do. The pain he felt inside was indescribable. The idea of losing her, brought up a feeling he never felt before.

He knew it wasn't aloud, but he pushed one of the steal bars of her bed down and lay on his side next to her. He kissed her on her cheek and softly stroke her hair. Tears slowly crawled down his face, onto her cushion as he whispered, "Please don't leave me sweetie. I can't live without you. I promise, I will take good care of you for the rest of your life, with of without a baby. I love you no matter what". He kissed the corner of her lips as his hand carefully caressed the smooth skin of her face and neck. "Please Sheila, don't give up." He lay his head next to hears and closed his eyes as he lay his hand on her chest. "Let this be a bad dream sweetheart, he whispered in her ear. Let us be home, as soon as I open my eyes, laying in our own bedroom. I will bring you breakfast in bed and make love to you all day. Mark sighed. If only....He knew he had to stay awake, but the feeling of her warm body close to his and the excitement of this whole day, made him so tired that he slowly lost the fight and fell asleep...