Irritated To The Point Of Destruction

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Ashanti

I looked at my brother first,  I was hurt I couldn't lie, I was more hurt by the fact that he had kept a secret from me, I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that the father of my son was dead. How, was I supposed to tell Tae this? I turned to my lover, I looked at him. I knew there had to be more behind this. I was scared to say anything, I wanted to cry but, what would that mean? Would that mean, that deep down inside I still loved Kennon? Did it mean that I loved Marquez less than? I was so confused. I felt numb, I saw Marquez' lips moving but I couldn't​ hear what he was saying. 'Shanti? Baby say something. I did all of this for our future. You even said that, the nigga was pushing his boundaries' I looked at Marquez sideways 'I didn't say he didn't deserve to live. And, even if I did, i said it out of anger. Do y'all know how much time you could face, if the cops find out about this?! I assumed that got their attention a little. I felt the tears coming down my face, I didn't know what was coming over me but I knew that I needed to get myself together.

I sat on the bed as the tears began to flow down my face I didn't understand the reason why I was so upset but I truly needed to calm down not just for my sake but for my unborn child's sake but the tears just wouldn't stop I started to see Tae older growing up without his father around and looking just like Kennon, The tears began to flow faster and I completely broke down I heard knocking on the bedroom door but I couldn't say anything because I was a hysterical mess Latrice finally opened the door and stuck her head in. "Oh my god Shanti are you okay?" All I could do was cry I couldn't even speak to her Latrice closed the door and walked over to me she sat down next to me and held me. "It's gonna be okay I know that it hurts but girl you have to be strong not just for yourself but for Tae and my unborn niece or nephew." Latrice was right I needed to be strong but I didn't know if I could be cause when I look at Tae I see Kennon would I ever be able to look at my child without crying? Latrice grabbed some tissue then handed it to me she held me as I cleaned my face and tried to calm down an hour and a half later I finally calmed down so I decided to go join everyone else in the living room Rico looked at me. "Twin I'm..." I held my hand up and shook my head I didn't feel like talking about it anymore I just wanted to move on and let it go I sat on the couch then my mama handed me a plate of food I really needed this right now Marquez sat down next to me. "Babe listen..." I shook my head then continued to eat all I wanted to do was eat and let it go if that was possible but I doubt that it was possible.