Shutter >>josh dun<<

>>29<< "Deep Thoughts" A Book By Mae Brighton

I've been in L.A. for a couple weeks now, finally starting to adjust to a new time-zone, house, everything. Liz and I FaceTime every couple days, and even on days we don't, I end up with plenty of this chick. If you know anything about Elizabeth Washington, it's that she wouldn't dare break a Snapchat streak. Not to brag or anything, but we're nearing 300 days (it would be more but I've slipped up a couple times and lost it).

My house is finally starting to feel like home. Which I feel like is a big step in moving to a new place, not that where you were isn't home anymore, but that here gets added to a list of places that became 'home'.

The neighbors are nice, there's a couple that lives next door. Sometimes I hear them laughing outside while I'm on the roof, watching the sky turn orange and pink. I wonder if that'll be me, married to my best friend, talking and laughing about anything and everything. I hope so.

There's also a little girl who lives across the street. The one I high key ship with the little boy that lives next door (even though i shouldn't because they're both like 3). She is always dressed like a child model you'd see on Instagram, yet she somehow still looks like a kid. Maybe it's the apple juice in her hand or the pizza sauce that I saw smeared across her white ruffled skirt while she jumped in and out of her mom's mini-van.
It seems weird to think about how I can catch a glimpse of someone else's life, just from a few run-ins or harmless eavesdropping.

It was getting late, the sun started to set so I decided to watch it on the roof with a cup of hot chocolate. I used to watch the stars in Ohio. I lives just far enough from the city to see the stars that they can't. You can't really see them here, too much light pollution.
"What're you doing up there?" a voice pulled me from out of my head.
"Well what's it look like? I'm sitting in my roof watching the sky. What are you doing down there?" I somewhat snapped back.
"Trying to get my girlfriend from falling off her roof, and I'm starting to think she likes the sky more than me," They laughed and I finally recognized the voice as Josh's, which was a relief because it started to climb the house to join me.
"Josh why'd you come?" I questioned, not that I didn't enjoy his company, i was genuinely curious.
"Im not entirely sure, just like i'm not entirely sure why you don't like coffee," Josh,now next to me on the roof, took a sip from my mug. "or drink hot cocoa in June," His face scrunched up a little as he spoke.

"Well let me clear somethings up for you then," I took my mug back with a chuckle, "coffee is literally gross bean water and hot chocolate is the best and can be had year round," I took a sip from the warm mug in defiance.

He shook his head and laughed at me. "So what are you thinking about? I know this has become your thinking spot," Josh nudged my shoulder.

"A lot," I laid back on the roof, placing the mostly empty mug on my stomach, Josh followed suit shortly after. "Life, marriage, my career, my future just as a human,"

"Marriage huh?" I could just tell there was a smug little smile on that beautiful face, but let him be. "Do you want to get married, just in general? I mean I'd like it to be to me but it doesn't have to be if that's not something you want," Josh started to ramble nervously, "you know what I mean?"

"Yeah," the hot chocolate sloshed in its cup while I let out a small laugh. "But I do want to get married, have kids, go on trips, watch the guy I love get old with me,all the cheesy stuff. But marriage is tricky, you promise someone you'll be there and stick with them no matter what, yet thousands of people get divorced,"

"Sometimes people fall out of love I guess," Josh replied, the pang on his heart apparent in his voice.

"And that's what terrifies me. The fact that someone who once saw stars in my eyes could be disgusted with those same eyes." I turned my head to find Josh already looking back at me, "What if that happens to us?"

Before i could say another word a pair of tattooed arms engulfed me and squished me to a toned chest. "I could never not love you. You're not just my girlfriend, you're my best friend, and I matter what you'll always have a piece of my heart and I can't change that even if I wanted to.
  From a the minute you opened your mouth at that venue back in Ohio I knew that if nothing more, I wanted to be your best friend," He let me go a little, just enough to match eye level. "but getting to kiss you too? That's the best part," Josh placed a comforting kiss on my forehead.

We sat in a nice silence for a while, taking in the now night sky. "Mae, you've got some deep thoughts in that pretty little head of yours," The newly dyed, yellow haired goofball I call a boyfriend playfully pushed my head.

"Do I?" A small laugh escaped me while I asked this.

"Yeah," Josh nodded. "You should write a book," I couldn't tell if he was actually being serious.

"I'll think about it,"

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-abby