Rubik's Cube (Joshler)

CHAPTER 34: Therapy

Tyler's POV ~

We pulled into the therapists office and I started feeling very nervous. Josh must have noticed because he grabbed my hand as we walked and kissed the back of it whispering. "It's going to be fine." I leaned my head on his shoulder as we walked.

We went to the reception desk thing and the girl told us to take a seat in the waiting room until my names called. When we walked into the waiting room me and Josh got a few dirty looks from holding hands and such but we ignored it.

After waiting for about 10 minutes my name was called. I slowly stood up but then I crouched down by Josh's ear. "I don't know if I can do this." I whispered. He looked up at me then stood up. "I know you can your going to be fine okay?" he whispered while giving me a hug. "Can you come in with me?" I asked. "Give me a second." he said then walked over to where the assistant stood that was waiting for me. He came back a few seconds later and reached his hand out for me to take which I did. Then we followed the assistant into a room and sat on the couch leaving momma dun in the waiting room.

I closed my eyes and sighed threw my nose. Josh ran his thumb over my knuckles. "Your okay.. I'm right here." he said and I nodded.

Just then an older guy maybe mid fifties walked in. "Hello I'm Dr. Campbell... Which one of you is Tyler?" he asked. "Me." I answered.
"Okay and who's this with you?" he gestured toward Josh while taking a seat in front of us in the chair.

"My boyfriend.. Josh." I said. "Oh its nice to meet the both of you." he said.

"So Tyler why don't we start with you telling me a little bit about yourself?" he asked putting some paper on a clipboard and laying it on his lap.
"Um ..okay... My names Tyler Joseph, I'm 17 years old, I play the piano and ukulele, I'm currently living with Josh because my parents kicked me out for being gay, umm....". I stopped, trying to figure out if I want to tell him about blurryface and stuff. I decided I probably should. "I'm depressed... There's a voice in my head that I named blurryface, he tells me to kill myself and that no one would care and other things like that... I um have self harmed before... I have nightmares a lot... And that's really it."
I ended with a shrug.

"Okay... I want to talk about some of the things you mentioned if that's okay." he said writing some stuff down on his clipboard. "Okay."

"Okay first how do you feel about your parents kicking you out?" he asked with a slightly raised eyebrow. "Oh um.. I don't know it happened on Sunday so I guess I'm still kind of upset.. I cried a lot over it." I said squeezing Josh's hand slightly.

"Hmm I see.. What about this blurryface? How does he make you feel?" he asked writing more things down. "um.. Scared I guess... Vulnerable maybe." I swallowed thickly.

"How long has blurryface been around?" he continued writing. "Uhhh.... A while... I don't exactly remember." I feel very uneasy right now.. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not used to Dr. Campbell yet or if it's because of what were talking about.. I've never actually talked to anyone about this stuff before.

"I see... You mentioned self harm.. When's the last time you did it and why?" he looked up and moved his glasses down a bit. I just stared at him. I'm definitely uneasy because of what were talking about.
Josh leaned over by my ear. "Are you okay?" he whispered. I slowly nodded and cleared my throat as a tear rolled down my cheek. "Um I don't know ... 3..maybe 4 weeks ago because um blurry was really bad and my dad yelled at me so I left."

"And you haven't done it since?" he asked. I shook my head no. "Have you thought about doing it since?" he questioned. "Um.. Yeah I have.. A lot.." I looked over at Josh who was already looking at me. "But I didn't."

"Well that's good I'm happy you haven't been doing it." he said with a smile. "And I'm sure Josh is really happy as well." he said. "Yes I'm super proud of him." Josh said looking over at me.

"So how did you two meet?" Dr. Campbell randomly asked. "I was at school and was having a bad day.. Blurry was really really bad he was just screaming at me so I left class and started running through the halls to my car so I could go home." I looked at Josh. "Yeah and it was my first day at the school.. I had a panic attack and ran out of my class crying." Josh said.  "Then we ran into each other and I offered him a drive home... Ever since we've been really close." I finished.

"Oh... Josh you said you had a panic attack.. Do you have them often?" he asked taking his glasses off completely and putting them on his lap. Josh visibly stiffened. "Oh.. Um.. Y-yeah I-i guess." he said. "Hmm... Do you have anxiety?"

Josh nodded slightly. "I've been getting better tho... Tyler's been helping me.. I don't stutter as much as I used to." he said and I leaned against him.

"How much did you used to stutter?" he asked but I answered for Josh. "He stuttered a lot... Almost every word.. I didn't mind tho.. But I'm proud of how far he's come with it." I said smiling at Josh.

"Well that's good.... Is there any particular reason you have anxiety or is it just something that you just have?" he asked. Josh pursed his lips. "I.. Um it might be because of my dad... He um would yell at my mom a lot and he's hit me a few times and used to say stuff to me about me being a waste of space and saying I deserve to be hit before me and my mom left." Josh's eyes started to water and his breath hitched.

"Hmm.. Josh would you be okay with coming in with Tyler every time... I think you could benefit from some therapy as well." he said writing some more things down on a separate page.
Josh bit his lip. "I guess."

We weren't in there much longer after that. We said goodbye to Dr. Campbell and went back out to the waiting room. Momma dun stood up and we all walked out to the car. Me and Josh sat in the back.

"So? How did it go?" momma dun asked. "Dr. Campbell wants me to go in with Tyler because he said I could benefit from some therapy as well." Josh said. "Oh... Why did he say that?" she asked. "He asked about my anxiety and then we started talking about dad and yeah."

"Oh... What about you Tyler? How did you find it?" she asked me. "Um.. I don't know.. I was uncomfortable the whole time... I've never really talked about this stuff before with anyone. I cried when he asked about me self harming." I said. Momma dun sighed. "Are you boys hungry... We could go get take out if you want."

We both agreed.

A/N ~ Aha I still have no clue what I'm doing XD. Love you! Bye❤
~Squish