The Knock (Destiel)

Chapter sixteen

16. For better or best

*sexual content*

       It had been three months since Castiel moved in with Bobby and Dean. Although he felt more at ease than he'd felt in years, the months had been hard for him.

       Dean and he had gotten closer and closer as the time passed. Their kisses grew more passionate and experienced, but neither one of the two men ever spoke about their relationship. It had never even crossed Dean's mind that they weren't in an official relationship, while it made Castiel feel insecure. Still, he was afraid to start the subject so he didn't. Dean had also, once, accidentally touched the scars on his back, while they were making out. Castiel didn't even dare to look at him for a week. Eventually, Dean had apologised about twenty times and everything went back to slightly normal.

       Bobby's leg was healing up nicely and the older man could walk around now, just not too long. It did mean that Castiel and Dean didn't have as much privacy as they used to.

       As for Castiel's anxiety and depression, it was slowly decreasing. The man talked more and more, almost forgetting about his muteness. He also ate regularly now. Yet, he didn't gain a pudge, as he worked out a lot. In other words, things were good. That's until Castiel decided to have some guts and ask Dean about their relationship.

       "Dean?" Castiel asked nervously, after taking a deep breath. The other man was sitting in the kitchen with his laptop, most likely searching for cases nearby. Castiel knew how bored Dean was without a case.

       "What's up, Cas?" He asked, raising his eyebrow shortly at the fidgeting man before his eyes returned to the screen. He didn't seem to pick up the man's discomfort. Castiel on the other hand was in a loss of words, opening and closing his mouth a few times before three words slipped.

       "What are we?" His terrified blue eyes met Dean's slightly aggravated ones. He swallowed visibly before looking down. Dean's eyes softened slightly, before hardening again.

       "I don't date, Cas," he said, matter of factly. The words cut like a knife as tears built up in Castiel's eyes.

       "What does that mean? That you're just using me for your own needs? That you don't want to handle all of this alone? That's it?" His words were hard and his voice had visibly raised. Dean's eyes widened as he shook his head.

       "No, of course not!"

       "So you just keep on using me until you're bored and then you see a beautiful girl and voila, Castiel is forgotten."

       "No, I-"

       "And to think I was trusting you enough to show my back, soon. Fuck, I'm so glad I waited."

       "Wait, re-"

       "I'll just pack my things, because I don't want to be in a place that leaves me heartbroken dai-"

       "GOD DAMN IT CAS LISTEN TO ME FOR ONE GODFORSAKEN SECOND." Castiel shut up now and stared at the man in front of him. Tears were falling down his cheeks, but he didn't notice. Dean had left his laptop and was now standing in front of him.

       "What?" Castiel whispered, his voice cracking. Dean closed his eyes, a troubled look crossing his face. This confused Castiel even more, as he was now in a loss of words.

       "I'm falling for you, OK. Not just slowly, but like a stone dropped in the ocean, and it scares the shit out of me," the man said, almost too quietly this time. Even though his voice sounded confident, a hint of fear was evident behind his eyes. Subconsciously, Castiel stepped forwards.

       "Why does it scare you?" He asked, his blue eyes full of wonder. This definitely wasn't the answer he had been expecting. It felt like his insides were about to burst in joy so he bit the inside of his cheeks.

       "Because everyone I love, dies," Dean admitted. Castiel grabbed the man's hand and squeezed it in reassurance.

       "Well, I'm right here now, am I not?" Dean nodded slowly. Before the man could reply, Castiel placed his lips on Dean's. The short kiss tasted salt because of all the tears, but it subsided Dean's fear and insecurity for a moment. Their heads touched, lips only inches away from each other.

       "You're not going to leave?"

       "I'm staying right here,"

       Their lips met in another kiss, this time more passionate. Dean's arms were wrapped around Castiel's waist, who's hands were either gripping the hairs in the nape of Dean's neck or cupping his cheeks. The kiss wasn't rushed, yet desperate. Dean's hands traveled down towards the other man's ass, who gasped when he gave both butt cheeks a little squeeze. That was the perfect opportunity for Dean to slip his tongue in Castiel's mouth.

       "Jump," Dean mumbled, breathlessly. Castiel did what he was told and wrapped his legs around the other man's waist, who held his legs so they wouldn't slip. Now that Castiel towered Dean slightly, he had to bow his head to get a better angle. He didn't know how they did it, but one way or another they had managed to get upstairs and Dean on top of Castiel on his bed.

       Item by item of clothing fell on the ground, Dean now hovering over Castiel just in his boxers and Castiel only wearing his sweater and boxers. No words were spoken when Dean lifted them both up in a sitting position so that Castiel had more space. After a deep breath, he slipped the sweater over his head.

       "I won't look," Dean whispered, squeezing the man's hand in reassurance. Relief fell over Castiel's face, as he brought their lips together once more.

       Only minutes later, Castiel was a trembling mess underneath Dean. He was laying on his back, the now naked man on top of him. There was barely any space between them, as their bodies moved in synchronisation. The only sounds that could be heard were loud moans, skin slapping together and a creaking bed.

      Although Dean's thrusts were gentle and slow, Castiel was in pure bliss. Both close to reaching their climaxes, they shared a breathless, simple kiss. It sent them both over the edge. Castiel felt a heavy weight on him, as Dean collapsed on top of him, yet he didn't seem to mind. Then Dean rolled over next to him, taking him in his arms.

       The scars were visible now, as Dean's head rested on Castiel's back. Like Sam had said in the beginning, they looked horrible. He gasped slightly, before kissing the scars on his upper back.

       "You're so beautiful," he whispered, trailing his kisses downwards. He felt the other man tense under his grip and then relax. His hands followed the horrendous lines on his back gently, visibly making the other man shiver.

       "Thank you, Dean," he heard the other man whisper. Dean left his current position to turn Castiel around. His blue eyes were surprisingly shining with tears. "Thank you for not leaving." Dean leaned forwards to kiss the tears away, before kissing the man on his lips ever so gently.

       "I'm not leaving you, Cas. I wouldn't dream of it." The other man smiled contently, closing his eyes. "Hey Cas?" Castiel hummed in response. "Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

       In his exhausted state, all Castiel did was smile, hug the man tight and reply with a small yes. Little did they know that their moment of bliss wouldn't last forever. After all, Dean was and would always be a hunter. Deep down they both knew and feared this, but they ignored the nagging feeling in their gut. They had each other now and that was what mattered.