Years later the once high school sweethearts Noora and William meet again. Can they just waltz back into each other's lives and pick up where they left off or has time and distance made them realize they are better off with other people? This is the...
We were finishing up our meeting. Finally. We didn't manage to come to a settlement today either. Boy, this is gonna take time. These people are impossible. I mean don't get me wrong. Brown should have never given out advice about things he knew nothing about but, at the same time they are just milking the cow now. But that's how lawyers work I guess. I am glad I am just sitting in on these meetings as an observer. Expert observer as a matter of fact. Not bad for someone who started eight months ago. I should pat myself on the shoulders. Oscar does it though. I feel great when that happens. Finally getting some credit from the old man. Damn, I am bored. I have so little patience for "shit" like this. "So when can we re-convene?" our lawyer was asking theirs as they both started flipping through their calendars. Never is my thought. "April 6th?" is the answer our lawyer gets.
April 6th.
That's my Nooras birthday.
Noora. Love.
I can even pinpoint the moment I fell in love with her. It's been a year now when I come to think of it.
I had been infatuated by girls before definitely, but they never managed to sustain my interest for long. They fell in love with me, I thought they were cute, we hooked up and I was over it. Next?
So love was something I didn't think I was even capable of whether receiving or giving.
But, then Noora came along. Came along is maybe under doing it. More like hit me like a freaking freight train.
At first, I had been intrigued, then infatuation took over and then my interest was beyond anything I had ever done or experienced before. I was actually thinking I had gone insane.
I don't know if it was because she kept rejecting me. Because she was calling out my bluff. Out loud. Because she was a wise-ass. Because she was utterly beautiful. Or simply because of that smile. Not that she directed it at me often, but I did see her with her friends in the school cafeteria from time to time and it was adorable. Her adorable smile and those green, green eyes that could see through all the bullshit and tear down each and every wall I had ever built up. And not only that she could tear it down she actually took an interest and made an effort and did in fact tear them down. She freed me from myself. And whats even more she loved me for me. And she let me love her. ❤️
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But, that night when she stayed and picked up my guitar and sang. That vulnerable voice... and those words that were so much more than words of a song. I felt as if I got a glimpse into her soul. It was like she was letting me in, but just an inch. Like opening the door, but leaving it just slightly ajar. Giving me a peek. I loved it. Every tiny bit of what she was showing I loved. From that moment I knew I had lost. She had captured me. From that moment on I had to have more. I was in love.
And ever since that day I have continued to want and need more. More of Noora.
But, she left. In the end, she left back to Oslo. I didn't think she would. I honestly didn't. We had talked about it. I knew she wasn't' happy, that she was having a hard time adjusting to London. Still, I never thought she would give up. But, she did.
London, October 2016
The minute I walked in I knew she was gone. Even the air in the apartment was in absence of her. I stood a minute in the dark hallway just listening to the silence. Then as if in panic I ran into our bedroom and opened the closet, shifting through ranks and ranks of clothes. Only my clothes were hanging there now.
Not knowing what to do with myself I laid down in our bed, smelling her pillow and taking her blanket over me and just laid there until I fell asleep.
It wasn't until I got up at 4 AM that night to get water that I saw her note on our kitchen counter.
"I can't anymore. I am sorry. I love you. Please call me when you get home."
It took me a week to call her back. It was a brief conversation. She loved me and she was sorry, I was understanding. Truthfully I didn't believe her words any more than I believed my own. Of course, I didn't understand. And of course, she wasn't sorry. Not really. Because when you love someone you stay. No matter what. Relationships are ups and downs and sometimes you got to sacrifice a little, she didn't apparently.
•
That was almost five months ago. There have been texts and phone calls since but, all have felt short. Not enough. It was like we were keeping each other alive but, no one really ready to take the next step and say something. Now my life only consists of work and sleep. I have taken up smoking again. I quit when I had Noora. You really only need one drug in your life and she was mine. After she left I found back to cigarettes. I hate them, but I need something to occupy my thoughts.
As I am sitting here with these lawyers listening to their boring talk all I can think about is Noora and that step forward. And that's only from the mention of April 6th.
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