Right from the start... know I got you.

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A few days later we parked outside a familiar building on Frogner.

N: Ehh.. what are we doing here?

W: I told you I have to shower and change.. can't show up in my business attire at a birthday party.

N: I thought you guys lived in Jar?

W: We do. But, I also have this apartment.

N: Ohh...

W: When I work late or have functions in the city or Bridget is out of town I sleep here. It's easier like that.

N: Oh...

That's weird I thought. Isn't it? I never remember him having one when we were together. And we also lived a little outside the city center in London. 

As we stepped into the apartment I felt as if I was stepping out of a time machine.  It was the same apartment. In fact, it was our apartment. Our apartment where we had spent so many days, nights, evenings, talks, laughs, fights, discussions, made love, danced, hosted parties, dinners, game nights. How come we are here? 

N: I don't mean to pry. But, I thought you sold the apartment when we were on Snarøya?

W: I did. Bought it back a year ago.

N: The same apartment?? - I couldn't hide my surprise and shock

W: Yeah.. - he was in the open kitchen pouring us wine

N: Isn't that a bit weird?

W: Why? I love this apartment. Some of the best memories and years of my life were spent here.

I nodded carefully and smiled a little without teeth, politely. He smiled back like he understood what I was thinking while bringing our wine. We toasted and he went to take a shower and get ready, while I roamed around the apartment. 

It had changed quite a bit. I wondered if it was all done by the previous owner or if he did it when he bought it back to get rid of the memories. But then again he just said he loved those memories so...

But, it's so weird being here. I was standing looking out the window. I even remember this view and standing at this exact spot looking at the exact same backyard. It's so surreal, six and more years later. I mean he has clearly moved on but, then again he is holding on to everything we had and shared. I don't understand it. At the same time, I don't want to ask too much or analyze. 

Then I noticed a regal with pictures in it. One picture, in particular, caught my eye. It was Eskilds birthday party. Mid August, eight years ago on a rooftop on Bygdøy. And the two of us happy.


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I remember this day. I remember the smell in the air. I remember which song was playing. I remember Eva teasing us when she took the picture. I remember my heart being full and my soul being complete. I remember being so in love I could scream at the top of my lungs.

( William had surprised me by coming in that weekend, even though he wasn't supposed to. I was gonna fly to London on Sunday, but now we are flying to London together. Where we were gonna spend a week and then to San Sebastian, Spain for two weeks. Just the two of us. :) )

I can't believe this picture was here. There were other pictures here too. The boys, Charlotte, Amalie (a picture we had in our apartment too) and his cousin Catherine's kids (Marion (now 15) and Thea (now 13)) who loved him very much, he was uncle Will, and he loved and cared for them deeply. 

I mean Bridget can't be ok with this being here, on full display in the living room? - I thought to myself.

W: Bridget doesn't come here.

N: Oh.. – is all I managed to say when he answered my unasked question

W: We should get going. The taxi is outside.


SAN SEBASTIAN - eight years ago

We were lying on the beach, my head on his stomach and both reading each our book.

W: Listen to this...

N: Huh?  - I looked up at him

W: "«We're only seventeen. I said quietly. *Fuck seventeen.* His eyes and voice were defiant. "If I were to live a thousand years, I would belong to you for all of them. If we were to live a thousand lives, I would want to make you mine in each one.»".

N: That's beautiful.

W: You are beautiful – he leaned up and gestured for me to meet halfway so we could kiss, we parted but, our noses touching – That's what I'll engrave in your wedding ring. «If I was to live a thousand lives, you will be mine in each one.»

I smiled the widest smile. Put my book down, got up and sat in his lap, cowgirl and caressed his beautiful face... mouth... cheek and took his face between my hands.

N: I love you, you perfect creature.





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