A love song

More than words

Erik and Selena walked into the room to the tunes of "You look wonderful tonight" by Eric Clapton and had their first dance as a married couple.

I couldn't be more proud and happy for my best friend and his soul mate. I have known him since we were toddlers in preschool. Later we always went to the same schools, had the same friends, we were also together the night he and Selena met.

It was summer 2016. We were out in London - me, Noora, Erik and Vegard. Noora and I had moved out there that summer and the boys came to visit for the weekend. Erik and Selena met at the bar then accidentally found out they were both Norwegian and lived in Oslo. So when they came back to Oslo from their respective holidays they agreed to go out and the rest is history. Being forever written in stone today. :)

Somewhere in the middle of the wedding party, Vegard, Marius, Sondre and I were catching up when Lars, slightly drunk, comes to sit by our table.

Lars: Who's the girl dancing with Simen?

We all turned to the dance floor. My heart. Vegard turned to look at Lars, but not before brushing a knowing look my way

V: Noora. Why?

L: Who is she? She is damn fine.

Vegard looked directly at me. I was just starring in the direction of the dance floor.

It stung a little to watch her dance with other men. Hell, it stung (a whole lot) to watch her at all when she wasn't mine. When I cant hold her, kiss her, love her the way I want to. I mean I knew there would be an interest in her. A gorgeous girl alone at a wedding full of single wolves, it was a self-explanatory scenario. But, still, it didn't make it hurt any less.

As I stood up and started making my way to the dance floor, I heard Vegard behind me telling Lars

V: Sorry man, I think she is already spoken for.

I have been fine for the past month or at least that's what I have been telling anyone who asked. Including myself. It hurt when she left. And it took me a while to get myself together. But, seeing her last night. Boy that wasn't easy. It felt like someone had taken a knife, stabbed me in the chest and was now turning it around painfully slow. But again if there is any face expression I have mastered over the years it is the nonchalant, cool, don't-care, nothing-affects-me look and posture. 

Noora was the only one who could ever see past that, she was the only one who ever wanted to see past that. But the other night at dinner was weird in so many shapes and forms. She was cautious with me, threading carefully with every word she spoke, every smile she gave, every laugh she cracked and every look she sent my way. It was like we suddenly were uncomfortable with each other. And after everything and even when we were at our worst that's the one thing that was easy with us, it was easy to be around each other. Comfortable, known, safe. Easy. And to top it all she got really weird on me when we left the restaurant. I didn't understand that. Was she jealous? I mean she was the one that left me?

Last night Vegard and I were out with the Italian waitress from the other night and her friends. She was without a doubt interesting, smart, beautiful. She was 2nd year in law school and we had similar taste in music, movies so there were enough topics to cover but, still, I couldn't fully engage. My mind was constantly drifting to a certain blond with divine green eyes and perfect red lips.

Who these past few days have been staying in the same hotel, just a floor above. That's really close. But I couldn't see her last night, no matter how much I wanted, to hang out with her, whatever that would imply. I have to show her I cant be at her back-and-call. There are boundaries. Because honestly, I don't think the friend thing would work for us, even if we have fooled ourselves earlier that it could.

But now watching her slow-dance with Simen. It didn't sit right with me.

W: May I cut in?

Simen looked at her, she nudged her shoulders and smiled carefully.

S: Sure, man.

N: Hi - I took her tiny, gentle hand in mine and started moving

W: Hey. - smiles - If I haven't already said it you look amazing.

N: Thanks. You look pretty dapper yourself.

W: I try. - more smiles, all polite and casual

The song ended. Damn it. She started pulling away. Another song was starting to play.

W: We might as well continue... we didn't get a full song.

N: - smiled – Anything else would be just wrong - she joked and took my hand again.

He smiled for the first time since we met here in Rome. Ear to ear. The most beautiful smile with the most perfect, full, delicate lips. I replicated his smile. From the heart.

Wow. He still got the power over me. We started moving slowly again.

W: Are you having fun?

N: Very much so. You?

W: Yeah. I am. As long as the groom is having a good time, I am too.

We turned and looked at Erik and Selina dancing beside us, totally into each other, singing to each other and just enjoying.

N: I think the bride is making sure of that.

W: They so complete each other.

N: They really do. But I mean they've always. Remember the night they met?

W: When we waited for Erik in the car

N: Two hours just to get her number and not seem like a douchebag he said.

He laughed then. I laughed with him.

W: It's great to hear you laugh.

N: You too.

We smiled. A known kinda nostalgic, what-could-have-been smile.

The party was in full swing... there have been fireworks, there have been cake and karaoke, there has been the most fun and inappropriate dancing to old songs from our high school time. I was sitting beside Vilde, so exhausted, from the dancing, the singing (sometimes screaming at the top of our lungs hehe), laughing, eating. Suddenly "More than words" started playing. Oh wow. That's memories man. I started looking for William at his table, it would be cool to make eye contact now. We haven't been in a joint room and heard this song in probably half a decade. 

A half a minute later someone touches my shoulder gently

W: May I have this dance? – standing behind me, over me, reaching out his hand. Smiling with his eyes.

N: - Smiled – Of course :)

Throughout the whole song, none of us said a single word. We just clung onto each other. My head on his broad, protective shoulder. Our hands intervened in one direction, his hand on my back and mine on his in the other direction. His chin resting on my head. He was singling quietly, almost whispering, you barely heard the words. But, I heard the words. That were so much more than words.