Sh*t Happens

I'm really not..

  "We keep asking because we're worried about you. We care about you. Why can't you see that?" Aaron bursted out. His voice was weak he seemed desperate. He ran a hand through his hair which was usually a sign that he was stressed. 

  "I know that you're worried about me. I just don't want to talk about it." I said reluctantly. We had already sat down in the restaurant and got our drinks so I was just biting the straw of my drink. I looked down to avoid feeling guilty for disregarding how they might feel about my current situation.

  Aaron and Esperanza looked at each other and then Esperanza spoke this time, "I get that it's hard to talk about but if you aren't fine then why can't you say it." She spoke softly and reached for my hand across the table. 

  "Because!!" I exclaimed. 

  Aaron was sitting right next to me and turned his whole body towards me, "Because what?!" He's never yelled at me like that and having him do that made my heart crack a little. 

  "Because... I am okay... But I'm scared that if I talk about it then...then..." I spoke softly, I could feel the tears become harder to hold in. 

  "Then what?" Aaron had a harshness in his voice. I didn't look at either of them. I kept my head faced straight ahead. I didn't want to see their concerned faces because I knew that if I did I would start breaking down.

  "Then I wouldn't be okay..." The first tear rolled down my face like as if to show my last drop of hope leaving my body. I couldn't contain it anymore. The second tear followed the first and it was like a dam had finally gave in after centuries of containing water.

  I didn't want to see me like this. I tried to push Aaron but his 6'3 frame wouldn't budge. My side grazed the table while I was at it, putting pressure on my bruise and I winced. This was when Aaron finally decided to move out of the way. 

  I ran out of that restaurant as fast as I possibly could. My sides hurt and I could barely breathe but I just wanted to go to my safe place. I just wanted to go where I could cry shamelessly. I couldn't go to anyone's house though. I realized that my safe place was them. Whenever something went wrong I went to them. 

  Esperanza was always my first thought and if not her then Aaron. Jace left me. Kolton did too. Even then, Jace and Kolton only came to me if they needed me or wanted to have fun. They never stayed through the dark times and they never realized when something was wrong. 

  I stopped and took breaths to think about that for a little while. Finally, I dropped to my knees and just started sobbing. There was no place I could go. Then a hand rested on my shoulder, "Julia?" It was the person who started this whole series of disaster. 

  I swatted his hand away and kept crying. That's when I could hear him lowering himself to put my head over his shoulders. "Hey, c'mon. You shouldn't be crying. You're too pretty to cry. Remember?" He tried to claw at our summer. 

  I just sobbed into his shoulder. I didn't want to confirm that it was him by looking up and quite frankly, I didn't need to. I just let myself sit there and cry. I've been a lot less discrete about my constant crying lately. 

  I didn't stop I just kept crying. He eventually picked me up and brought me over to a bench. I continued to cry for about another hour before he said anything, "Okay, now I'm definitely sure that you're going to look like you had a allergic reaction tomorrow. You've been crying for like an hour and ten minutes now. C'mon Julia, speak to me."

  I tried to stop the sobbing but I ended up getting hiccups. I tried to contain it but I couldn't. That's when he pretended to 'accidentally' almost drop me on the floor with the way I was sitting on the bench. "Ahh!!" 

  He kept me balanced and started laughing. I glared at him. "What? At least your hiccups went away." I gave up the glare and soften my look. 

  "Thanks for letting me use your shoulder as a handkerchief but I honestly don't want to be comforted about my problems by the person who was the first event to my spiral into another level of hell." I spat out.

  He just looked at me for a moment, "Well I mean I had the choice to leave the girl who I was once madly infatuated with cry alone on the sidewalk." 

  I gave him a confused look. "You were madly infatuated with? Are you joking?" I started chuckling. He gave a even more confused look.

  "No, I'm not actually. I was actually crazy about you." He said seriously whilst turning his body away from me and facing forward. 

  "Seriously? Is that why you refused to dance with me? And why you wouldn't even give me a hug? And why you were so cold with me at the start of the year?" I got mad and he did too.

  "What are you even talking about? I asked you out in the start of the year but you never gave me a response!" What...The... "Jay and Esperanza practically had to force you to ask me to that dance. You were repulsed by me and didn't even hide it!" 

 "What are you even talking about? You never asked me out, Lucas. I didn't want to ask you to that dance because earlier in the summer you friend zoned me and I was never repulsed by you." I lowered my voice to talk to him civilly and turned to face him.

  "But... Jay told me you didn't want anything to do with me the day after I asked you out." He lowered his voice to match my volume. 

  "You never asked me out.." I said even more quietly than last time. 

  "I did though, over kik. I know it was stupid but I was scared to ask you in person." He kept his volume the same. 

  "Jay told you that I was repulsed by you?" I questioned. 

  "Yea..." He responded softly.

  We continued to sit there in silence. 

  "Can we just stay friends, like best friends even. I don't think I'm willing to lose you a second time." I said out of nowhere. I just knew that I didn't want to lose him again so I asked. 

  He looked at me for a moment, surprised by my sudden outburst. "I'd love that." 

  I held out my pinkie to ask for a promise. I know it's childish but I just feel more comforted by a promise. He intertwined his pinkie with mine to promise and we just smiled at each other. 

  "I'm glad that you didn't keep walking." I smiled at him. 

  "I am too." He returned my smile. 

  I felt ten times better now that I had fixed everything between Lucas and I. Now, I just have to reconcile with Kolton, straighten things out with Jay, face my parents in jail, get over Jace, learn how to cope with my anxiety and depression, and face and fix whatever comes my way while balancing my straight A's for the another 10 years...

This should be easy...

                                          Word count: 1252

Author's note: Welp, a lot of people have to do deal with that Julia... Anyways, I hope you guys liked this chapter the next one will be posted soon maybe even later today. I said MAYBE. Oh and if you like this story don't forget to vote on the chapters if you want me to keep updating. ;)