Why Me?

Chapter 31 She Has A Story Too

Sarah

     I watched as Beckett looked nauseously out the window of the jet. I hated him with a passion but the way the sun hit his face made my stomach ache. I loved the way his hair looked messy but it was a controlled mess. I loved how strong his jaw looked when he turned sideways and how his muscles flexed when he clutched at his seat. But I hated how he broke my heart.

     He made me believe he actually loved me. He made me think I was actually something in this world. He was a lying, son of a bitch and I was hoping that Pedro would just shoot him in the head after he got the coke. But I still loved him and I was reminded of him every day of my miserable existence. I still remember the day he broke up with me.

     “Hey babe.” I said as I threw my cigarette on the ground and crushed it beneath my feet. Beckett had told me to meet him on John Travolta’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. It was where we first met so I was expecting something special. At that point I had been going out with him for five months and I thought things were going well. I was wrong.

     “Hi.” he said with a nervous little smile. He only looked me in the eye when he approached. Now they were glued onto the star underneath my foot. He didn’t even lean in to give me a kiss.

    “What’s wrong?” I asked taking his hand and squeezing it. But he didn’t squeeze back. He just looked up at me with these eyes; they weren’t sad, just empty.

     “My mom, she’s not doing so good… with the cancer and… and I just…” Beckett signed in frustration and let go of my hand. He ran his hand through his hair and walked in a little circle. The sun was setting in the horizon and the street lamps were just starting to go on.

     “Well I’m sure she’ll get better.” I never liked the bitch. The first time I met her she called me a “dike”, thinking I was one of Beckett’s gay friends. From that day on we hated each other and honestly, I was glad that rich prick was dying.

     “She’s not Sarah.” He said with anger. He went from nervous to pissed in the blink of an eye.

     “What are you bipolar or something? You seemed fine on the phone, and then you were nervous when you got here and now you’re being a little bitch.” I said taking out another cigarette.

     “You know what, I was trying to figure out a nice way to tell you this but I’m done acting nice. You have been nothing but an unsupportive bitch of a girlfriend throughout this whole relationship. My mother is dying and you don’t care at all! And I have tried to love you, even though you’re rude and selfish, but I just can’t. I can’t be with you anymore! I can’t pretend to love you!” He said yelling the last bit of his speech. The tourists that were walking around stopped and looked towards us.

     “I’m not rude and selfish!” I say walking up to him so we were face to face.

     “Oh so insulting my mother every time you see her and wanting me to spend every waking moment with me isn’t rude and selfish?” he yelled back. I just stared at him. Yeah I was aware I was a monster. I honestly didn’t care. The only thing I ever really cared about was him and now he was breaking up with me because of his mommy.

     “I’m more important then her!” I screamed. “When she’s finally dead who’s going to be there for you? Me!”

      “No. When she’s gone I won’t need anyone but myself.” He said starting to walk away. “And you’re not more important than her. No one that ever walks into my life will be more important than her.” I watched him walk away into the sunset. It sickened me.

     “I don’t need you anyway! I never loved you either!” That was a lie. I loved him more than anyone. My parents died in a car accident when I was two and the only person that took care of me was a ninety year old aunt. I never knew what love was until I met Beckett. He crushed me that day and I was going to repay the favor.

     When Beckett broke up with me, I went around telling a few friends he was a drug dealer. I even tried going to the police but since I didn’t have any “evidence” they pushed it aside. I was thinking about other ways to get him back when I met Juan. Apparently he had caught news of my ex-boyfriend being a drug dealer and he wanted some details. Of course, at first, I went along with my lie. I made things up as I was asked questions. I don’t know when but somewhere down the line Juan and I started… well I don’t know what to call it. He refers to me as his girlfriend but I only see him as someone to satisfy my “needs”. I vowed never to love anyone else after Beckett and I haven’t.

     A couple months into the relationship Juan asked me for a favor. He said his Uncle Pedro had a big deal going down in Cuba somewhere around January. He asked if I could get Beckett to help. That’s when I knew I had to stop the lie. I told Juan everything that had happened and I told him why I lied. Instead of being mad at me, he was furious with Beckett.

     “No one does that to a woman like you.” It was sweet, really, but I didn’t really care. The only part I cared about was when he said he would make Beckett pay for what he did. That intrigued me but when we went to Beckett’s house, we found it empty but a very nice old woman was kind enough to tell us they moved down south. It wasn’t much information but it was enough to go on.

     This lead Juan and I on a four month search for our lovely friend. When we finally found him I discovered of Evangeline. While Juan and Pedro planed out their Cuba job, I took my free time to investigate Beckett’s new girlfriend. Talk around town had told me she had been raped by a local named Tyler. Good. Sooner or later I found out where she lived. Now I wouldn’t call it stalking but I watched her every move and by watching her I soon discovered how much she meant to Beckett. I knew that the only way to Beckett to cooperate was if I involved Evangeline.

     When Christmas arrived though, that’s when I knew it was time to strike. I watched him give her that necklace. I watched him fight his father. I even followed them out into the snow. I listened as they held each other and cried; Beckett making promises he couldn’t keep. It made me sick to my stomach. While they were in the snow, I called Juan and we met up at Beckett’s house. Now here we are on this plane, on our way to Cuba.

     I watched Beckett the whole time, ignoring Juan playing with my hair. I honestly didn’t understand why he loved me so much. Now I understand how Beckett felt, trying to love someone who loves you so much, is hard.

     When we got off the plane I didn’t even pay attention to the scenery. The people were annoying and all the birds and bugs were pissing me off. But I just kept my attention on Beckett. I watched his every move and I felt myself falling in love all over again. Don’t get me wrong I liked Juan, in one way more than another, but he wasn’t Beckett. I would never be able to replace him; he was the love of my life.

      He thought I was a drug addicted whore and… well he was right but it still hurt. And I was going to make him pay for what he did to me. I promised I wasn’t going to hurt Evangeline and that after this deal was done we’d leave the two of them alone, but I’m Sarah. I’m a compulsive liar and I might have lost my mind after Beckett broke up with me. Oh well, I can plead insanity in court.             

Author's Note: Ok so I felt like I should put Sarah's pov in this book somewhere and I thought this was the best spot. Now this chick is crazy and what exactly does she have in mind when she says "I can plead insanity in court?" Well we will find out soon enough. Now for a big announcement: The book is almost done!!!  :-( I know I know, you don't want it to end but all good things must come to an end. I have about ten chapters left before I end the book and I just wanted to prepare you guys. Ok so vote and comment and enjoy guys :-)