I'm Supposed To Hate You ||Malum AU||

Chapter 47

Calum and Joy are so cute.

Calum curled up in his bed after yet another day of listening to the endless ignorant comments from his peers. His detention after school had been his favourite part of his day because there was no one else there. He didn't understand. Why should he be getting shit for his dad's actions? Calum hadn't killed anyone so why was everyone avoiding him like the plague. It hurt, and telling Ashton multiple times a day that it didn't would change that.

Calum was left emotionally exhausted every day after school. He had no energy to hang out with Ashton or Thomas and he hated it because all he could do was sit at home, staring at his wall and think about how much he hated it.

"Goodnight Calum." Joy called from the other side of his door on her way to her bed.

"Goodnight Mum." Calum replied with as much enthusiasm as he could. Whatever happened he didn't want his mum to find out about school, he didn't want to put her through that again. Calum listened to the sounds of his mother moving around her room -
the creaking of the floorboards, the soft thud of the drawers closing and the squeak her wardrobe doors always made when they moved - waiting until they'd stopped to get out of bed and creep to his bedroom window.

He gazed up at the stars above his head with a awed expression on his face. There was something calming about stars for Calum but he couldn't place what it was. It amazed him how a fiery ball of gas could look so beautiful from so far away. A cold chill suddenly washed over him and he flinched away from his window sill, shivering.

He was under the same sky as everyone else in the world, and everyone else included his Dad. His father could be looking up at the same stars as Calum from the small window in his prison cell. Calum took a step closer to the window again and took a deep breath.

"I know you can't hear me, but looking at the same stars is as close as we're ever going to get so listen up. You always told me that you would never do anything to hurt us, that you cared more about us than anything else in the world Dad. But that can't be true, because what you did to those poor people hurt us more than you think it did."

Calum hesitated for a moment, contemplating what to say next.

"We had to move into a new country because of you. None of our neighbours would look us in the eyes after you were arrested and the kids at school gave Mali and I hell. We were being punished for your actions. So we moved to Sydney, where no one knew us and we could have a fresh start. That was fine but I still have nightmares about you. Your own son is terrified of you and what you did. But you would never do anything to hurt us, would you?" Calum's voice was laced with bitterness as he whispered to the stars, and his eyes had filled up with tears that were threatening to fall.

"Now, the rumours have started up again in the place we came to to escape them. I can't even walk through the corridors without hearing the whispers that seem to follow me. I can't even look someone I considered a friend in the eye anymore because of you. And it hurts. There's a pain in my chest that gets bigger every time I hear someone else blaming me for what you did. You said you would never hurt me Dad. You're a fucking liar."

Calum didn't even realise he was crying until a puddle had formed on his windowsill. He didn't have enough energy left to wipe them away. He took one last look up at the stars and whispered "Fuck you" before climbing into his bed and burying his face in his pillow.
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Calum walked through the crowded corridor with his head held high. People around him stopped what the were doing to stare at him, some of them whispering rumours to their friends as he passed. Calum shrugged them off, adding fuel to the fire.

"Calum, can I talk to you, please?" Michael asked desperately, stopping in front of him.

"Why?" Calum spat. "Give me one good reason why should I let you even try to justify yourself?"

"You shouldn't because that's not what I wanted to talk about." Michael's voice was no longer desperate, but harsh and cruel. "I don't need to justify anything because you are a shitty person. You let the whole school, including me, fall in love with your charming personality when you're really a criminal. All those times you attacked me, I didn't deserve it because I was being a dick, it was your true colours coming into the light. You're just like him. I only started being nice because I was scared that you would go one step further and kill me."

"I would never. Michael, I'm not like my Dad. I swear."

"Really? Well explain this?" Michael lifted his shirt to reveal a stab wound exactly where his heart would be. Calum looked back up to his face to see it had drained off all colour and his eyes had lost all of their light.

"That wasn't m-me?" Calum stuttered, tripping over his feet as he stumbled backwards. He landed on the floor with a thump and tried to shuffle backwards, only to be stopped by Ashton. Ashton looked down at him with an eerily cold expression and dead eyes.

"Why would you kill me Cal, I'm your best friend?

"I-I.. I didn't. I'm not a murderer. I'm n-not."

Michael advanced on him with a menacing smirk on his grey face. Suddenly his face morphed into his Dad's, who was wearing the same menacing smirk.

"Yes you are son."

Calum screamed and bolt upright. Beads of sweat glistened in his forehead as he panted, desperately trying to regulate his heart rate and breathing. His bedroom door flew open to reveal his mother, who was holding a her hairdryer like a baseball bat.

"Calum, are you alright honey?" She whispered, loosening her grip on the hairdryer. Calum shook his head slowly and pulled his duvet around him. Joy came and sat down next to him on his bed, wrapping her arm around his shoulder comfortingly.

"It was just a dream Calum. You're alright."

"I-i was... They were dead...I-it was m-my f-fault." Calum mumbled incoherently, resting his head on Joy's shoulder.

"Ssshhh, it didn't happen. It's okay Calum, I'm here."

"I-I killed them mum." Calum continued to mumble. "I-I'm a murderer."

"No you're not honey. Take some deep breaths okay, with me. In and out. In and out."

Once Calum had calmed down, he sat in silence next to his mum, staring blankly at the wall.

"I get nightmares too you know." Joy whispered. "Horrible ones. I thought, when I heard you scream that he had found us because I've dreamed of it happening so many times."

"I just...I just want to move on Mum." Calum whispered. "I don't like him having so much power over me. He's a like a dark cloud blocking all of the light. Gran told me to let him go but I can't. It's so hard."

"I know Calum. I know."