Jonaxx Secret Files

Help me move on

Real Life Jonaxx Boy/Girl
Experience
Help me move on

"We were college that time when I first saw you. You were a medical student and I was a law student back then. I was always flirting with girls, sleeping in class, and hopping in bars- to sum it all up, I wasn't serious with my life before. I was an asshole and a douchebag for short.

That friday afternoon, I was walking towards the cafeteria to buy a frappe, palinga-linga ako nun para sana maghanap ng kaibigan when my eyes stopped in your direction. Nakaupo ka sa bench mag-isa habang nagbabasa ka ng libro na sobrang kapal habang nakikinig ng Disney songs, natawa ako kasi ang weirdo lang. Reading a very thick book while listening to a Disney song, seriously? Pumunta na lang ako ng cafeteria para bumili ng frappe kasi may klase pa ako in 20 minutes. Days have passed, I saw you again. I was shocked kasi may kaibigan ka pala, I thought you're one of those nerdy girls na walang kaibigan sa sobrang weirdo. You were very different that time, nung una kong kita sayo naka clean bun ka at naka medical uniform na medyo maluwang ngayon kasi naka med unif ka parin naman pero medyo tight or tama lang sa katawan mo yung unif mo tapos yung buhok mo nakalugay na and nag apply ka rin ng light make up. Your pale face got colors and damn, I really appreciated your beauty. Sobrang ganda mo pala pag inayusan. Parang nung una kong kita sayo para kang nerd ngayon naman para kang isa sa mga chixx na hinahangaan ng mga lalaki dito.

Gusto ko pa sanang titigan ka but unfortunately I had my classes that time. I couldn't cut class because my subject was major, kahit na man ganito ako may plano parin ako sa buhay ko so I left and went to attend my class. That same day in the evening, I saw you. Damn, natawa nga ako eh. Ano? Destined ba tayo? Ba't palagi tayong nagkikita? You were eating sandwich while reading a very thick book again. Linapitan kita. I didn't know why I had the guts to come near you. I mean, you and I have a very different world. You were always studying and reading your books while I always party with my friends. So let's get back, I walked near you. Tumikhim ako para sana mapansin mo but it seemed like you were so focused that you couldn't even throw a glance on me. I didn't have a choice so I said ""Hi"" to you. You faced me. I smirked. I was so positive na mastarstruck ka saakin kasi gwapo naman ako, mayaman, matangkad and I have that ""badboy aura"" pero it seemed like you didn't care at all. Tumingin ka ulit sa mga libro mo and fixed your things, ready to leave. Nasaktan ego ko syempre, minsan na nga lang ako lalapit sa babae wa-walk out-an pa ako and the nerve of her! Ni hindi ko siya type, di naman siya sexy. She's flat and plain though she has curves and butt but all in all she's not my type. Na offend ako kaya umuwi na lang ako.

Days have passed again, I realized that I had a big crush on you. I stalked you, I searched your fb, twitter and ig. Lahat ng nakita ko sa fb mo puro ""Jonaxx"" kung hindi naman ""Riguel"" at ""Azi/Azrael"" and I was so pissed na may gustong iba yung gusto ko. Dahil sa pagkagusto ko sayo, I was following you on school wherever you were going. Creepy, right? But whatever gusto ko eh. Dahil nga sa pagsunod ko sayo, ang dami kong nalaman. One time, narinig kong sinabi mo sa kaibigan mo na ..

""Beh, my gulay! Ang gwapo ni Riguel at Azi. Nababaliw na ako. Yung tipong sobrang hot lang nila, nakakalaglag panty""

Nagulantang ako sa sinabi niya. Laglag panga. Nagalit talaga ako nun kaya umuwi na lang ako sa bahay. Tinanong ko sa kaibigan kong babae kung sino ba yang gagong Azrael Montefalco at Riguel Alleje na yan at mapatay ko kaso tumawa lang ang kaibigan ko. She told me baliw na daw ako. Di daw totoo yung si Azi at Riguel. Nung una, di ko maintindihan. Anong di totoo? She explained to me na FICTIONAL CHARACTER lang daw sila sa mga libro na gawa ni JONAXX. And that explained everything.

Kinabukasan, I confronted her. I confessed my feelings. Sabi ko if pwede bang manligaw. At alam niyo ano sinabi niya?

""Wag kang magbulakbol. Ayusin mo pag-aaral mo. Sasagutin kita sa graduation pag naging cum laude ka.""

DAMN. That was all I could ever say. Be a goody-goody student? Di ko yata kaya yan. Pero what can I do? That's what my girl wants me to be. So I strived hard. Real hard. Di na ako sumasama sa mga kaibigan ko sa pagpaparty at bar para makapag-aral. There were times na hindi na ako natutulog at kumakain para mag-aral. Di rin ako nagpakita sakanya sa loob ng ilang buwan para makapag focus ako at mapatunayan ko sakanya na deserving ako sa ""OO"" niya at hindi ko ini-easy ang sinabi niya.

And everything was paid off when our graduation came. My parents were so proud of me, my friends and my relatives. And I was so sure na magiging proud rin siya saakin because I was a Magna Cum Laude. Atat na atat akong pumunta sa graduation para makita siya but then ...

Natapos na lang ang graduation pero hindi ko siya nakita. Inikot ko yung buong convention pero hindi ko parin siya makita.

I lost all my hopes. I haven't saw her on our graduation.

I tried calling her but her phone was dead. I asked her friends if they knew where she was but they answered ""no"". I asked her closest friend kung san siya nakatira and so I went to her house and asked their yaya kung saan siya and I was stunned and shocked upon hearing what her yaya said ""Wala na siya dito. Umalis sila ng buong pamilya niya papunta sa ibang bansa"". I was angry at first kasi paasa siya, akala ko sasagutin niya na ako. Asang-asa ako eh. I strived very hard for her. I was always ditching my friends whenever we have our group meetings para makastudy. Everything. I dropped everything for you pero wala ka pala. And then a year passed, nag-aaral parin ako ng law kasi pinagpatuloy ko ang pangarap ko para sana pagkatapos kong mag-aral hahanapin kita pero isang balita ang umabot saakin.

""Patay na daw si 'Lilienne'""

I cried. I couldn't accept the mere fact that you're dead. I had alot of questions in my head. How? When? Why? Where? Bumalik ako sa bahay niyo, at naabutan ko ang lamay mo. I asked your yaya kung bakit, I didn't have the guts to ask your mom or dad though, and your yaya said ""Matagal ng may sakit si 'Lilienne'. Naging kumplikado last last year pero last year lang ipinunta ng ibang bansa, hindi naagapan kasi lumala na daw""

I didn't bother to attend your burol. I just watched from afar. Hindi ko kaya eh. And when 3 months have passed, it was my birthday already. Umaga pa lang nandoon na ako sa memorial park kung saan ka nilibing I stayed there went home at around 6 in the evening.

Everything happened so fast. I didn't even have a chance to be your boyfriend. Minsan, maisip ko na lang na sana hindi kita sinunod eh, sana kinulit na lang kita edi sana pala hindi ko inubos ang ilang buwan sa pag-aaral but you see? What your condition has made me a better man. Maraming nagbago dahil lang sa kondisyon mo saakin. My dad who said that I was a fiasco was very proud of me, he even gave me a brand new car and a condo. All these things, these medals and my successes are invalid without you.

I was once your Azrael but because of that damn condition of yours, I became your Riguel. You left me with no words just like how Lilienne left Riguel and just like Yeshua, you also died. I still love you. Mahal na mahal kita na hindi ko parin kayang lumingon sa ibang babae but as you can see I'm moving forward pero bumabalik parin ako. How can I move on when I'm still inlove with you?"

-Your future lawyer