Sinner's Confessions (Montero Series # 2)

Chapter Three

Chapter Three

[Mikho's POV]

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart.

Napailing ako matapos makailang ulit na mabasa ang bible verse signpost na nakadikit sa ilalim ng ring at sinubukang itutok ang atensiyon ko sa pag di-dribble ng bola.

Alex was blocking me on his defense for his team and we're almost about to end our second half. This is our seasonal seminarian's basketball tournament and we have to win this game to be able to get us to the finals by next week pero hindi ako makapag concentrate dahil sa nababasa ko. I've been no use as one of the team's centers since the game had started. Bilang na bilang ko lang ang points na naipasok ko sa team. Anim. Lamang ang team ni Alex ng limang puntos.

"Bro Mik! Double time! Ten seconds left!" sigaw ni Jaco na isa sa mga ka-teammate ko.

"Mikho, Come on!" Narinig ko ring sigaw ng iba ko pang mga kasama.

I shrugged my head and looked for an opening para maipasa ang bola kay Jaco nang makita ko muli ang isang bible verse na naka-post sa gilid ng court.

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.

I closed my eyes, trying to dismiss my thought pero pagmulat ko ay agad na naagaw ni Alex ang bola at naipasa kay Gian na isa sa mga ka-teammate niya. Gian was quick to make his way to the other ring and made an impossible attempt for a far away three point goal.

Unfortunately, the ball eyed the ring just as the time for the second half of the game had stopped.

"Thank God, Gian!" masayang sigaw ng mga kasama niya.

Napapikit akong nasapo ang ulo ko habang dismayadong nakatitig sa'kin ang mga kasama ko.

It had been almost a month pero kahit saan ako pumunta at kahit anong gawin ko ay lagi kong naalala ang kasalanang nagawa ko. Sa loob at labas ng klase, sa misa, sa oras ng devotion, sa mga community at pastoral activities, at ngayon dito sa court. Our superiors purposely posted those bible verses to always remind us of the deed that we are forbidden to undertake as seminarians. And at this point, I felt like I don't deserve anymore to be ordained as a priest dahil sa nagawa ko.

"Jared Mikholai what happened to you?" salubong agad ni Father Rico na coach ng team namin nang makarating na kami ng mga ka-teammates ko sa bench. "Hindi kaba nakakain ng agahan?"

"Pasensiya na Father Ric," I answered and looked at him apologetically.

Tinapik ako sa balikat ni Father habang inabot ko ang bag ko sa ibabaw ng isa sa mga bench. "Magpahinga ka muna. We'll have Keil as your replacement."

I nodded my head, took a bottled water from the ice barrel and went to the far off bench. Naupo ako at agad na inisang lagok ang tubig. Saka ko inabot ang tuwalya sa loob ng bag para punasan ang pawis ko.

"May problema ka ba, Jared?" Father Harry sat beside me. He's one of our team's substitute coaches. "Mukhang sobrang pre-occupied ka. Hindi lang ngayon, pansin kong kahit sa mga pastoral lectures natin. Nagdadalawang isip kana ba dito sa pinili mong bokasyon?"

Napailing ako habang nagpupunas ng pawis. "Hindi po, Father."

I have always thought that priesthood is my calling. I would never spend ten years living like a monk here in the seminary if I'm having second thoughts. Hindi rin ako magtitiis na mapalayo sa pamilya ko kung hindi ko 'to gusto. Bata palang ako ito na ang sa tingin kong gusto ng Diyos para sa'kin. He gave me this second life because He wants me to minister and deliver His message by becoming a priest.