Back To You - A Camren Story

I'll Go

It seemed to Lauren and Camila that this was the best life could get. And to them, it certainly was. They were new adults but not new to each other, and the more time they spent together the more they realized how well they still knew each other. It was like they had picked up right where they had left it in that airport, but without the pain in their eyes, and the heartfelt goodbyes. It was just them now, all of the time. Camila knew how to make Lauren laugh uncontrollably, by barely even saying anything at all. But somehow her stupid jokes were enough to have the sparkling green eyes almost crying from laughter. Lauren knew just the right words to say to Camila to make her feel special and wanted, and taken care of. They understood each other more than anything, they were best friends when they weren't all over each other. That's the best kind of relationship to have, best friends by day, lovers by night. Camila couldn't speak for Lauren or read her mind, but for herself, she was starting to stop pretending she wasn't falling in love again.

Saturday night and the club was absolutely booming with noise and cheers. The bar was way too full, the dance floor crowded, and there wasn't a single stripper who wasn't busy. Camila was talking to Taylor by the bar, as Fifth Harmony performed, not knowing how many more times they would be able to with their new record label. No one but the girls and Camila knew, but L.A Reid was in the crowd that night, assessing their performance and taking notes on things they needed to work on. Camila watched him in the back from the corner of her eye, failing the attempt to discern whether his face had a pleasant or disturbed look. It was so serious. She decided it was a happy look, and tried not to worry.

"You're almost back on again, here!" Taylor shouted over the loud crowd, handing Camila a shot. With doubt in the back of her mind, being nineteen and drinking in public, she downed it. Her taste buds were screaming for help as the burning sensation flooded her mouth. She didn't know if it was good or bad that she was more than used to it.
As Fifth Harmony closed and walked off stage, Camila greeted Lauren as she went on the stage.
"You did amazing!" Camila shouted over the crowd's noise. Camila tried to kiss Lauren on the lips but Lauren immediately backed away, giving Camila a look of disapproval.

"What the hell Camila? Not now." Lauren snapped, leaving Camila absolutely clueless and confused. Hurt at most, with Lauren treating her that way for the first time in 5 years. Lauren and the girls walked away to the back of the building, through the 'Employee and performers only' doors. Camila was left to enter center stage and turn it up with the crowd, the way she always did. But now she felt totally let down, how could she possibly party? Camila turned on random upbeat music without saying anything, or remixing anything at all. She was lost in thought over Lauren's actions. The strippers were at work away from the stage, and Camila always had perfect view, but at that moment she didn't even acknowledge them. And that was very hard to do for a lesbian working in a club. Her heart had sunk, along with a sharp feeling in her stomach. She couldn't wait until the club closed so she could speak with her girlfriend, and ask her what the hell had happened. The night felt like an everlasting eternity of standing on the stage playing song after song, overthinking, wondering what she did wrong. Was Lauren having second thoughts? Was she embarrassed? Was she being weird because L.A Reid was there? What was going on? Camila's head was spinning with questions. She had a feeling that her week had been too good to be true.

Everyone was gone and Taylor was closing that night, so Camila was free to leave. She gathered up her things in the back and hurried to Lauren's apartment where she had some clothes and a toothbrush there. The girls took turns staying together for the past week. She arrived and parked in the parking lot, then didn't even think about knocking before entering Lauren's home.
Inside, Lauren was washing dishes at her sink in the kitchen. Camila walked over to her, anticipating an apology.

"Hi" Camila said, wanting attention.

"Hello" Lauren replied, not looking up from the dishes she was scrubbing. Camila stared at her for a moment before speaking again, thinking of what to say. She sighed heavily.

"What was that tonight?" Camila asked, softly. She couldn't be harsh.

"Why are you even asking that?" Lauren said, a little harshly. "You should already know the damn answer, Camila." She belittled her girlfriend.

"Okay well I don't and I would appreciate it if you didn't speak to me like that."

"Why would you try and kiss me at work? We aren't out, and I don't want to be right now. Plus, we just got signed to one of the biggest music producers, who was watching!" Lauren explained, angrily.

"Nobody saw, he was on the opposite side of the room." Camila added.

"It doesn't matter!" Lauren raised her voice, then stopped herself. "I just.." she sighed. "I thought you understood that no one except the girls can know, or see... or even get the idea. I don't want people to know."

"Well the way you've been acting lately really doesn't seem like you care who sees or knows. Or hears.." Camila protested. "You said that we're doing this, that you wanted to. Because like you said, we can't stop it from happening. Lauren... we're supposed to be together. Why are you doing this? Why can't we just be free to love?"

"I think you should go, Camila." Lauren said, cold and sharp.

"K." Camila answered after looking at her in confusion, and a little shock. This behavior and fight came out of nowhere, just the day before they were perfect. Camila didn't understand. "I didn't think it was a big deal. I just wanted to kiss you because..." Camila stopped. "Never mind. Bye."
And with that, she was gone.