A New Beginning

Chapter 42

Shiloh –

It has been a couple of weeks since we finalized the sale of the condo. That meeting with the new owner left me with such a weird vibe in my gut. On thinking back to the response he gave me when I asked if he knew Ori and the response he gave me versus his body language left me with some serious doubts as to the validity of his denial.

Ori truly has no recollection of him but after thinking and thinking over and over again until my mind could take it no longer; it suddenly came to me like a cold dread in my heart. That son of a bitch was Ori's lover.

I thought about talking it over with Ori but knew deep down that it would do him no good. He harbors this guilt over his betrayal of me even though he has no memory of it or him. I will not put him through that turmoil again.

Against my better judgement, I made the decision to visit this Mr. Ivan Breeze. There are questions that are floating around in my mind that I need answered and I have a feeling he is the only man that can provide me with those answers.

Bringing my thoughts and fears to the man whose friendship has become so invaluable to me now, Fay came up with a plan. He will be picking me up so it looks like we are having one of our outings and then drive me straight to the condo where I will confront this man.

He made it very clear that he would wait outside if I either needed one, moral support or two, a getaway driver. I laughed at that thought. I feel guilt over keeping this from Ori but he would never want me to do this. His fear of losing me is still his biggest weakness and I need to do this. I need to know.

I receive a text from Fay letting me know he is outside waiting just as Ori comes down the steps to kiss me goodbye. I hope he can forgive me for this. I do have every intention of telling him of my meeting and the outcome but not until much later on.

Hearing my man wish me fun with my impish friend, I think to myself, yeah, lots and lots of fun...

♥---

We have been sitting in Fay's car for the better part of a half an hour now and my very patient friend has been silently waiting on me to make the first move. I am very confused as to what to do. I keep going back and forth in my head as to whether I want to go in and find out the truth of what almost destroyed my whole world or remain in the dark and let it go.

The decision was taken out of my hands when I was startled by a loud knocking sound on my window. Completely caught off guard, Fay and I both gave a wide eyed look over at none other than Mr. Ivan Breeze himself. "Planning on stalking out here any longer or would you gentlemen like to come in?"

I look over at Fay and the look on my face must have said it all as we both get out of the car and followed this man to my old abode. I am feeler much better knowing that Fay is right by my side to support me if needed.

My heart was thumping loudly in my chest. We head into the all too familiar living room and Ivan, as he requested we call him, invited us to sit down. Looking around this room, you can tell the measure of his wealth. The furnishings are the kind you only find in very well to do homes.

"Would you both like something to drink?" We both shake our heads no. "Shiloh, I can imagine the reason for your visit." Gathering all the strength I can muster, and telling myself that I came here for some type of closure, I respond in a clipped tone, "Yes. I believe we both know why I am here don't we Ivan."

"Does he know you are here?" We both know who he is referring to when I nod my head in the negative. He sits down in the chair facing across from me as Fay sits in the love seat on my right side next to me. I feel so many different emotions swirling inside of me but the most prominent of them all is curiosity.

"What would you like to know?" He quietly asks. "Confirm my suspicions first. Tell me. I want..." I stop suddenly and just close my eyes for a brief moment trying to keep it together. "No. I need you to say the words." I look him right in the eyes so he can see every emotion I know is showing on my face.

He looks down into his hands, takes a deep breath in as if almost bracing himself and then lifts his gaze back up to mine as he says, "Yes. Orion and I were lovers." Before I can respond he then says, "Please know that I had no clue he was married while we were together. Once I voiced my desire for our relationship to become more serious, he broke it off completely. He explained that he was married and that you were pretty much his one and only. I was devastated to say the least. I am not a cheater and to find this out nearly killed me inside. Without him knowing, I followed him home that night. I don't even know why! I have since discovered that was the night you left him."

Trying to find my voice and shaking uncontrollably the touch of my dearest friend instantly calms me. I look into Fay's eyes. We do not need words to communicate. Looking over at Ivan I realize that he and I were the victims in this whole ordeal.

"How long were you two together?" "Roughly about six months." He answers me. "You loved him didn't you?" He is looking down into his joined hands in his lap and the moment I see a single tear drop hit the top of his hand, I know he is crying.

In almost a near whisper he says, "Yes, very much!" Knowing all of this hurts my heart but I can't be as angry as I thought I would be because he was deceived as I was. He looks up at me and I see the anguish in his eyes as he says, "He broke my heart so completely that I have not bothered to move on and try to go out there and fine someone new. I do not trust so easily anymore because of this experience."

Wiping his face he asks, "How have you been able to forgive him?" "He almost died. The idea of living a life without his presence in mine in any form was unfathomable to me." We both startle a little when Fay asks, "When Shi and Ori first came here you were outside. Why?"

"I had to see for myself that he was in an accident and in all honesty I wanted to make sure he was okay. When he saw me and had this completely blank look on his face, I knew just how bad it had gone. In that moment I was able to at least obtain some closure on the whole affair."

Fay asks, "And now? Why buy their home? Can you not see the sick twisted irony of the whole situation?" My friend was not holding back and I loved him for it. "To be honest, at first I just wanted a piece of him and since he was the only one here at the end of it all, I figured this would be enough. Now though, I am almost fine. I love this place and the area it is in. I just need the courage to get out there again and just try."

"You will you know." I said to him. "I know but, well, you know how it goes. Just know Shiloh that although I did love him, seeing Orion in this new light killed any feelings that may have lingered. I have no designs on him. It is not my style to willing become a mistress for lack of a better word."

Having had enough of the conversation and wanting to finally put this part of my life behind me, I stood up suddenly prompting both Fay and Ivan to get up as well. I walked over to Ivan and said, "Thank you for you time. You have helped give me some closure on this matter. Though we may never know why Ori strayed, it is obvious he never intended to leave me and in a way I am sorry for what he put you through."

"Do not let this define who you are as we have all learned from recent events that life is too short. I hope you find your true love because he is out there waiting for you." I gave him a smile for the first time since we arrived and he tentatively smiled back and said, "Thank you. This could have gone so much differently and I did expect it to be a shouting match with you Shiloh.  I hope he knows what a very lucky man he truly is. You are a class act."

With that, we left and headed for Fay's pub because at this point he and I both desperately needed some big, strong drinks.