A New Beginning

Chapter 2

Orion -

I finally did it. I was able to break things off with Ivan. I can't believe I did this at all. The past six months have been a whirlwind for my emotions but when he asked me where we were headed, I panicked inside and  I finally told him the truth about my marriage and that my husband was the only man I had ever been with until he came along.  That I could never, would never give him up for anything, any one.

Suffice it to say; that news did not go over well and he demanded to know how long I was married and how good of a marriage it could be if I was cheating on my beloved husband. Hoe could I do this to him? In that moment I realized the mistake I made.  The look of desolation that crossed his face opened my eyes to the reality of my situation.

How could I have done this to my Shi. If he ever found out it would kill him. Our lives have been intertwined for so long and  I let Ivan know that we were through.  It was just a bit of fun. Something new and different and with each hurtful and spiteful word, his body moved as if physically struck.  I made it clear again that I would never leave my husband. I still remember the look on his face and his parting words to me, "I'm not even sure who I feel sorrier for, me  or your poor unsuspecting husband!"

As I stand in front of my door, I take a deep breath in and out and get my head back in the game.  I need my focus completely on my husband.  Shiloh is my forever and this will never happen again. I can't really explain why it happened in the first place.   I open my door and enter our condo. As I walk through the hallway I enter the living room and drop my things on the floor.

It's quiet and completely dark. My baby must still be sick in bed and I am not pleased at all. I head towards the lamp sitting on the side table and turn it on. As I go to sit in my favorite spot I notice something on the cushion. I pick up a set of keys. These are Shi's keys. Why did he leave these down here?

I place them on the table and look back down and find an envelope and a ring.  A sudden sense of dread and panic begins to ensue within my body. This is my baby's ring. Why is it not on his finger? I hold onto the ring and sit in the chair as I attempt to open the envelope. It's addressed to me in Shiloh's neat handwriting.

My hands are shaking really bad as I pull out what looks like a letter. I place his ring on the table next to his keys and open up the letter. In that moment, as I began to read his words, my world comes to a devastating end. I can feel the tear drops falling from my eyes as they begin to crawl down my face as I read his words.

Orion,

As I'm sure you are more than aware by now, you should know that I have left you. I never thought that the one person made just for me, my soul mate,  would be the one to destroy that very soul. That is the only way I can describe the amount of pain that I am in right now.

Over the past few days I have gone through every scenario in trying to determine what I did to earn your betrayal. You know what I found? Nothing! I did nothing to deserve this. All I did was love you with the very essence of my soul from the very start.  Maybe I should not have put so much of myself into you making it near impossible to imagine my life without you in it.

But know this,  I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive you for this Ori or if I can ever come back from this. YOU were every thing for me and because of you now it's gone. How could you?  I can't bring myself to comprehend what you have done to us. Was it worth it. Was it? Well I hope so because that will have to keep you warm at night.

By now you are wondering how I found out about your infidelity.  Well it seems that you are not the only one that can provide life changing surprises in this relationship so let me enlighten you. Four days ago I went to my family doctor and he ran some tests. Remember how I was feeling so completely off?  How we just weren't sure what the hell was going on with my body? Imagine my fucking surprise when he told me I had a sexually transmitted disease. So on top of betraying me in the worst of ways, you risked my health as well.  Something else that I will have to ponder on as I try to come to grips with what you've done. By the way, you may want to get that checked out.

Do not look for me. My things are gone. Thank God that you are so self centered that you never really took much notice into what was quietly going on around you. My grandmother knows nothing for now because I just needed to get away. I am not there so if you don't want her to rain hell down on your head, leave me alone.

When I am ready, I will let you know what happens from then but understand that YOU broke us completely and I will be weighing my decision as to whether I will eventually be filing for a divorce.

Shiloh!

Oh my God. I drop the letter and run upstairs to our bedroom and sure enough, he's gone.  Every remnant of him has completely disappeared.  I fall down to my knees in the middle of the bedroom floor and just scream at the top of my lungs in agony and pain.

What have I done? What have hell I done.