Vampire on Baker street ( A Sherlock fan-fiction)

Ch.62: We may fight, but I will never stop loving this man

Chapter 62:

Sara's POV:

It has been two weeks since the mess with Culverton. John and Sherlock have regained most of their friendship and things are starting to go back to the way they used to be... Well not everything is the same.

Things are a bit... tense between Sherlock and I. We have cleansed the deadman blood from his system and he is now back to his normal self, but things aren't the same between us. He risked his life and let me think that he didn't care about me anymore. He was so focused on his own selfish desires that he just ignored me. I get that he can't lose John, but does that make me dispensable to him then? Even fucking Mary didn't seem to trust me with saving John.

I sigh and lean back on my bed, which actually used to be John's bed. He is still living in his own flat with Rosie, so I moved into his old room to watch over Sherlock. He is still in danger of returning to deadman blood.

It feels like Sherlock loved me more when he was human. ...Did-did he just want my power? Has he been using me all this time?

I groan and cover my face with my pillow. I wish Tom was here. He is a great person to talk to when I need advice, but sadly I haven't been able to get a hold of him since he left for his mission.

A knock on my door brings me from my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I ask, removing the pillow from my face.

Sherlock creaks the door open and peaks his head in,"I, uh, made dinner," he says a bit awkwardly.

I frown,"...You made dinner? Like, you didn't just order takeout?"

He clears his throat,"I didn't spend three hours in the kitchen ordering takeout," he then mutters,"...Wish I had."

I sit up and sniff the air. There is a strong burnt smell coming from the kitchen. I guess he did cook.

I stand,"Let's eat then."

I follow him downstairs and into the kitchen. I let out an exasperated sigh when I see the mess he has made.

"I made pizza. ...Well, I tried," he mumbles,"...I thought you would like it... since your Italian."

Stereotype much.

I stand next to the table and look over the "pizza" he made. The crust is burnt and lumpy, the sauce has chunks of tomato and some type of green substance, and the cheese has been burnt into a charred layer atop everything. I also see some black things that I think may have been pepperonis at one point.

He clears his throat and pulls out his phone,"I am just going to order takeout. Preference?"

A small smile works its way onto my lips. It's hard to be angry at him when he does things like this. "Yeah, that might be for the best. I don't think this is edible for even vampires." I walk to the stove and make some room to heat up the kettle. "Chinese sounds good."

Sherlock and nods and starts dialing,"Chinese it is then."

"Tea?" I ask after he has ordered our food.

"Please."

"Hey, first you need to clean up this mess," I tell him.

He sighs,"Fineee."

I help him clean until I food comes. I am still astonished that he was able to make this much of a mess just trying to make a pizza.

"...So, John is coming over with Rosie tomorrow," Sherlock says after a few moments of silence.

I nod as I wash a bowl in the sink.

Sherlock lets out a sigh,"Are just going to keep on ignoring him?"

"He lost my respect. I will tolerate him, but I will never see him the same way as I did before," I answer, scrubbing the bowl harder. "I-I thought he was better than that. ...Everyone did I suppose."

"Everyone makes mistakes, Sara. He regrets it everyday. I can still see the guilt in his eyes, and the pain in them when you ignore him." I can feel Sherlock's eyes on me. "You are one of his closest friends and I know he is one of yours, don't let this get between you two."

I grit my teeth. "Your one to talk."

"Excuse me?"

I drop the bowl into the soapy water and turn around to face him,"What about when you ignored me, huh? When you put yourself in harms way just to get John back, while I was in the background watching you hurt yourself and I couldn't do anything about it because you kept pushing me away!"

Sherlock squeezes his eyes shut,"I was pushing you away in case it didn't work."

I frown,"What do you-"

"If John didn't save me, if the plan didn't work and I died, I didn't want you to feel responsible," he tells me. "It was between Mary, John, and I. I didn't want you to get involved if it didn't work out."

I look down, biting my lip. "...I understand, but it still hurt," I tell him, raising my eyes to his,"What-what are we doing?"

He frowns,"What do you mean?"

I lift my shoulders in exasperation,"We are fine one minute and then something happens and we break up. How many times are we going to do this?" I close my eyes and groan,"My god, we are like a fucking teenage drama."

"Sara, I promise-"

I stop him right there. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

He sighs and walks to me,"Fine, I won't promise. Because your right. We do not know what will happen in the future, but we do have a choice. And my choice is you." He takes my hands in his,"I may seem ungrateful, ignore you, and push you away, but know that I will always love you. We can choose to push past the hard times, or we can end it all now." He looks down at me with soft eyes,"Do you want to give up all the good times we can have?"

I look down at our hands in deep thought. This situation reminds me very much of when I broke up with Tom all those years ago. I left him because I didn't want to see him turn into a monster because of the choice I made. I made the selfish decision to leave, thinking I was saving him from the darkness I had. But if I would have stuck with him, we could have probably lived happily for decades. I don't feel the same way about him now as I used to, but I do not want to make the same mistake with Sherlock.

I gulp and look up into his eyes,"I want to be with you... but I think we should take it slow. I'm just not quite ready for things to just go back to the way they used to be. We need to learn from this, not forget it entirely."

Sherlock nods,"Of course. Take your time, as long as you don't leave I will be happy."

A knock from outside the flat is heard. I smile,"Food's here."

"I'll get it." Sherlock releases my hands but sneaks a kiss on my cheek before he leaves to get the food.

My cheeks flush.

We may fight, but I will never stop loving this man.

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We are slowly moving into the last arch of this story. I will be updating more often hopefully, maybe twice a week instead of once. 

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