Destiny

The Ugly Sight

Mau pigi ka x? Mau pg ka x? Sya berkira2 lg pdahal sdh sya setuju. Tiba2 sya sedar balik. I am too jelaous! Tp takkan sya mau ckp sama Don sya xjd pg. Apa kunun alasan mau kasitau dia? Takkan sya mau bilang koruk sya sakit. Sya silik Loca sama Lola riang ria lagi berenang sana.

‘That’s ur fault Iam!’ Sya kasi salah lagi Mr Liam. Sya cek2 fon he still not replying me. What happened? Is he with Emily now? I think too much already.

‘No! No! No!’ Sya katuk2 kpla sya. Get back to ur sense Issabella! Macam mana ni? Sya gigit2 jari sdh. Betul2 bah Issabella ni cari nahas. Don is the words he hate most! Beware Issabella, kau gantung drilah lps ni kalau kana buang c Iam (terus ‘No worry Bell, I am here for u’ bilang Don!) hahaha

Sya watsap Don. 
Me: Don…
Mo pancing dia dmana sdh skg. Kalau masi drumah sya masi ada peluang untk tarik diri.
Don: Anything Bell? I am on da way..
Gosshh! Punya capat dia reply. Terlompat sya. Kaki sya otomatik laju p closet cari baju. Never mindlah, sya kasi positif seja. I owe him a dinner kan last time. So, sya  fikir ja sya pg makan sama dia untuk ucap terima kasih sebab tolong sya ri tu. I’ll explain to Iam later. Sya berdoa smga dia faham.

Susahnya mau jaga hati semua orang! Ini kalilah..Salah sya juga. Sembarang seja ikut perasaan. Org tua bilang ikut rasa binasa, ikut hati mati. Sya d antra perasaan itu skg. Iam, please forgive me as I always accept ur apologize. 

‘Please, Iam! Reply me now, if not I will go.’ Sya bercakap dlm hati sambil get ready. I wear knee length dress with short sleve. Sya bawa cardigan bikin cover kalau sya sejuk nanti.

Masi lg dua hati sya mau pg biarpun sya sdh siap. Sya watsap Don lg.
Me: Don, I think I cant..
Don: I am already downstairs. Don’t do tis to me Bell. I already booked dinner for two..
No way out. Fuh! I hope everything gonna be alright even I gotta feeling tonight gonna be a disaster!
Me: Bah, kijap sya turun…

Lambat2 sya atur langkah. Berat betul hati sya tp apa boleh buat, salah sdri. Sya sdri yg pg masuk kandang harimau. Berfikir lg sya mau kasitau Mr Liam ka x sya keluar sama Don. Arrggghh! Kestau jalah, any argument belakng kira bilang tu naluri sya. Sya try call out tp ‘the number u have dail cant be reached, please try again later!’ Aik, mcm out of grid pla dia. Takkan dia pg memburu d hutan?

‘I am going out dinner with Don. No worry, just a dinner treat as I owe him my grateful for help me last time. With <3 P/S: Miss u.’ Yg last tu unsur memujuk spya kurang sikit hukuman nti. Sya watsap ja, at least I told him. Delivered, double tick only. Never mind, most important I already being honest to him.

Lepas tu sya turun. Sya nmpk Don peluk tubuh sambil silang kaki, dia berdiri tunggu sya dkt passenger door. Wow! At one glance I saw him as Iam. Sama pla gaya dorang. Don mau menggoda jiwa sya kaini? Don’t confused urself Issabella! Cepat2 sya pejam mata sesaat smbl geleng2 laju kpla sya.

‘Shall we?’ Don p buka pintu untk sya. Mau ja sya ckp sya buli buka sdri tp dia duluan sdh d ready2 sana. I have to admit Don pun sweet juga baini tp syg…
‘Thank u.’ Dia tingu sya smbl senyum. Lps tu dia p driver seat. Tipu kalau jantung sya xberdetap laju berdua dgn Don. Kekok pun ada. I feel back our lost memory. Damn!
‘So where we will go?’ Sya cuba berlagak biasa supaya xketahuan gelojak perasaan sya.
‘You will know later..’ Dia lirik sya dgn senyuman. Mau juga rahsia2. Makan ja pun.
‘Oh ok then..’ Sya xtau sdh apa mau cakap. Jasad sya dlm kereta tp hati sya mcm tertggl d rumah sama2 dgn Loca n Lola.
‘Why? Mcm u takut2 seja keluar dgn sya. Ur bf marah u ka?’ Then why did u ask me again? Mau ja sya ckp bgtu..
‘Errr, nolah.’ Sya jwb pndk. Terus sya tingu d luar. Don’t blame me if u get a punch on ur face.
‘Oh come on Bell..’ Apa bah ni lelaki mau ni?
‘What do u mean?’ Sya tingu dia.
‘Bell, is there nothing left for me, even a tiny?’ Gulp! Sya talan air liur. Sya rasa jelas sdh mcm mana sya react towards him tp dia xfaham lg ka? Ka dia yg buat2 xfaham. He saw it bfore his eyes…
‘I am sorry Don.’ Itu ja yg mampu sya cakap. Sya dgr Don hela nafas berat. Sya xmau bersimpati dgn dia. Sya takut dgn perasaan sya sdri..
‘Then is the little boy is urs?’ Owen laitu maksud Don.
‘No, I mean yes..’ I am but I am not his biological mother. Sya masi sedr status sya tp ikatan kasih sya dan Owen cant be apart away. Kecuali kalau dorang sdri buang sya dri hidup dorg.
‘I thought u married with him. So I still have a chance kan?’ I thougth he is giving up.
‘Don, can we just forget our story? Please..’ Suara sya dlm nada merayu. I cant breath if he keep on insist talking nonsense.
‘No! Xsemudah itu Bell. Xsalah kan I tgk u dari jauh. If u need me, u can come to me anytime..’ His answer totally not what I want to hear. Stop it Don! You will hurt urself and toture me too..
Sya hanya mampu tarik nafas. Sya diam sdh. No matter what I say, masuk telinga kiri keluar telinga kanan. Dalam kata lain mcm menimba air dlm perahu yg bocor.
‘You don’t have to do anything Bell. Just hear me out.’ Kata Don lagi bila dia tingu sya membatu, diam seribu bahasa.

Sya btl2 xtau sdh mau cakap apa. Bagus sya zip ja mulut. Malas sya mau berperang cakap. I know I will never win and Don wont never give up. Sayang seja air liur sya bckp. Nanti xbikin talan2 kasi basah tekak yg kering hahaha

‘We are here..’ Don unlocked seat belt dia. Sya tingu2 dri cermin. Dia bawa sya makan d hotel ** ******. Another legend place for us, in the past! Dia sengaja mau kasi feeling2 mcm dlu kaini?
Sya ikut ja. Biarpun sya xjuga lapar sgt sbnrnya. Kotoh kau Issabella! Naluri sya menempelak.
‘Welcome sir. Can I help u?’ Staff hotel tu buka pintu untk kami. Lebar senyuman dia.
‘I made a reservation for two. This is my reservation slip.’ Don kasi tu satu slip sama tu staff.
‘Oh Mr Landon Lance. This way..’ Lama sya xdgr full name Don kana sebut. Staff tu kasi tunjuk kami pnya mija.

Wow! This place still the same. Sya tingu tu chandelier minka lavery mcm bru yg kana pasang kemarin. Lampu blue sky yg malap d tepi2 menghidupkan suasana romantic. Feeling2 dating pla.

‘Have a seat my princess..’ Don tarik kerusi untk sya. Princess? Geli usus sya dgr Don pggl sya bgtu. Sya tarik senyum kelat ja. Lepas tu Don duduk dpn sya.
‘Order Ms, Sir..’ Satu waitress dtg kasi kmi tu menu book.
‘Thank u..’ Sya bilang smbl ambl tu menu book.
‘Thank u. We will have a look first..’ Don pun ambil juga tu menu book.
‘Okay sir.’ Waitress tu beredar kasi tggl sya sama Don. Xhabis2 Don senyum2. Sot! Bilang hati sya.

Sambil2 sya belek2 tu menu book sya tingu2 sekeliling. Xbegitu ramai orang. Tp kalau dkira xcukup jari tgn dan kaki juga. I can feel all of them is couple. Sya nmpk satu org perempuan yg anggun jln mcm mau p arah meja kami. Cantik bisik hati sya. Makin dekat makin jelas tu muka dia. Shit! Once again I feel I am looking at myself in the mirror. I think I know her. Begagar balik tgn sya.

‘Bell, what u wanna eat..’ Sya xpeduli Don tnya sya. Mcm sya dgr suara dia jauh btl dri sya.

Fokus sya tertumpu sama tu perempuan. Paling bikin jantungan lagi, lelaki d belakang dia. Td sya xperasan sebab kana lindung tu perempuan dri blkg. Now, I can saw him clearly! Terus sya terberdiri. Mija kami dpisahkan dua mija ja.

Dtapp! Dtaapp!! Dtaaappp!!! I can heard my heart beat too fast. Laju sama bikin meradang lagi bilang tu Fast & Furious. Sya kasi kedip2 lg mata sya. Mana tau sya salah orang. Atau sya mimpi kaini? No! Its so real Issabella!

Takkk!!! Praapp!!! Menu book terlepas dri tgn sya. Kuat lagi tu. Beberapa orang tingu2 kmi juga sekejap. Perempuan itu pn tingu sya juga. Her partner pn otomatik tingu sya. Zass! Pandangan kmi bertemu. Mcm mau terkeluar ja mata dia, terkejut. Kalau dia terkejut sya lagi terkejut. 360 darjah!

‘Bell, r u ok?’ Cepat2 Don berdiri, dia p pungut tu menu book. Sya xpeduli juga. I become so numb! Bibir sya terketar2 sdh mo tahan gelojak perasaan sya.

‘Iam..’ Sya bisik palan. Mata sya berkaca2 sdh. Bila2 masa empangan air mata sya pasti pecah. How could he! Patutlah sampai skg, dia xreply message sya. Call pun xdpt. I was right, the woman is no other but Emily!

‘Bella..’ Sya dpt bca gerakan bibir dia walaupun sya xdgr suara dia. Saat itu juga air mata sya jatuh. My chest hurt! My mind blur! Mcm sya mo terjatuh ja. Terus sya pigang tu kerusi kuat2.
‘Bell r u ok?’ Don pigang bahu sya. Sya xpasti dia perasan ka x kehadiran Mr Liam dan Emily (I guess). Sya nmpk Mr Liam mau berdiri tp kana tahan oleh tu perempuan. Sya pejam mata, terus sya pusing membelakang dorang, sya xsggp tingu. He lie to me!
‘Don, I need to go.’ Capat2 sya lap pp sya yg basah sdh. My nerve function well suddenly. Terus sya berlalu laju kasi tggl Don.
‘Bell wait..’ Don kejar sya dri blkg. Sya xtau sdh Mr Liam p kejar sya ka x. I really wish he will.

Berjuraian sdh air mata masa sya blari keluar. Nasib sya xpecut 100m. I still hope Iam will catch  me. Sya xtau mau p mana. Mau call Lonad? Gagar2 lg tgn sya pigang hp.

‘Bell, nanti..’ Tgn sya kana sentap dri blkg. Don! I forget I came with Don.
‘What? Are u happy now?’ Sya bilang sambil tekup muka sya. Mengalir lagi air mata sya. Dengar sdh tu tangisan sya.
‘Bell. Sorry.I really don’t know..’ Don tarik sya dlm pelukan dia. Masa tu sya biar ja Don peluk sya. Yg sya tau sya mau nangis semahu2nya.
‘Sent me home..’ Suara sya bergetar dlm tangisan.
‘Now?’ Don tnya lgi. Dia usap2 kepla sya. Mcm budak yg xkana bgi gula2 tuntung. Sya angguk2 ja. No more words!

As I thought, tonight really a disaster! I feel my heart torn apart..