Destiny

Broken Into A Pieces

Luluh hati sya. Tp sya gagahkan dri juga. Sakit hati sama Don berkali ganda lg. Sampai hati dia buat begini. Lain yg sya harapkn lain yg dia buat. I am so angry and frustrated!

'I am sorry Bell. Sya xtau, kenapa sya buat bgtu. Percayalah sya xniat.' Tiada niat? sdh pun dia buat bru dia mau sorry2. Sorry naik lorilah, buang terus dia sana tmpt pembuangan sampah. Biar jd rebutan scavenger sana. Muka dia tu mimang lakupn kalau jual terutamanya sana Kg Air.

'Why not now Don? Ur sorry is useless. You do it purposely or not u did it already. I hate u Don!' Meluat sya tgk muka dia.
'Please, Bell..' Don pigang tgn sya. Kuat btl sya tepis. Terayun jauh tu tgn dia.
'Dont touch me Don!' Tajam sya tingu dia. Sya xmampu sdh mau menangis dgn apa yg terjadi. Kering sdh air mata sya. Penuh tu swimming pool kalau kana kumpul2.
'Okay, okay Bell. Sorry.' Dia angkat dua2 tgn dia. Sya tau dia fed up dgn sya. Air muka dia keruh mcm sungai yg penuh kelodak.

Sya benarkan dia hntr sya pulang bukan bermakna sya setuju dgn apa yg dia buat. Bukan juga sya mau membalas dendam pda Iam. Syg sya masi utuh untk dia. I am sorry Iam! Only if I can prove I am not wrong.

Semuanya angkara Emily. Senyuman yg sya anggap ikhlas rupanya penuh goromokson. Sya laitu rumput yg kana goromokson, hmpr2 mati. Dulu Olivia, skg Emily. Malang btl nsb sya jumpa org2 bgni.

Lama sya diam membatu. Xsdr pandai mengalir tu air mata sya. Td kemarau, skg hujan sdh balik. Sya lap laju2 air mata sya. Berusaha sya mo kawal emosi, memujuk hti sdri. Imaginasi sya mula bermain2. Mr Liam n Emily spend the day and night together. Emily surely overwhelmed now. Mr Liam fallen to her trap. Manakala, sya juga terperangkap dlm dusta yg dcipta oleh wanita yg sama.

'Tell me Don, why did u said that nonsense? You know how I feel kan..' Sya bersuara akhirnya. Tersekat2 tu nada suara sya. Tp pandangan sy dluar tgkp ja.
'I am soooo sorry Bell. Sya tau sorry saja xcukup. Sya tercabar, sya pn ada ego juga. I hate the fact he has ur heart, while I am too jealous.' Inilah masalah jiwa Don yg xpandai sembuh2. Xmau move on.
'How could u Don..'
'I want to see him hurt. Feel what I feel too. Sya terlalu terikut dgn perasaaan sya.' Xsdr ka dia sya lg derita dgn apa yg dia buat.
'You hurt me too..' Taukah kau Don d dlm hti sya ni, sakitnya kana robek2.
'That's y I regret it now.' Sudah terhantuk bru dia terngadah. Apalah gunanya skg? Tp kalaupn Don xckp bgtu, percayakah Iam dgn kmi berdua? Percayakah dia kmi jd bgtu dsebabkan Emily?

Nsb saja dia xdtimpa tangga. Sya pnya situation yg ngam, sdhlah jatuh dtimpa tangga lg. Emily drug me, then Iam found out I was staying with Don in the same room, then Don destroy my soul. Berapa kali sya timpa tangga? Sakitnya membakar-bakar. Its break my heart.

Pandangan sya jd kabur2 lg. No, Issabella. Be strong..

'Tell me Bell, what shud I do to get ur apology, to be forgiven.' Don memecah bicara lepas kmi dua2 diam beberapa detik.
'Sudahlah Don. I am sorry if after this I  change the way I act towards u. Remember, u hurt me once again even more.' Ini hukuman untk Don, dia terslh percaturan. Kepercayaan sya dgn dia luntur mcm kana clorox.
'Bell, please...' Sya lali sdh dingar permintaan maaf sma rayuan Don. He try to be cool but for me he look like a fool. Lowong!

Sampai ja dbawah rumah sya terus keluar. Sesak dada sya lama2 dgn Don. Rasa mcm hbs sdh oksigen d dunia.

'Bell, dgr dlu..' Don p kejar sya lg.
'Keep ur distance Don. Dont step forward. Kalau x, il make sure u wont hear anything from me!' Sya stop langkah sya. Sya ckp ja tanpa pusing blkg tgk Don.

Sya tau langkah dia juga mati d situ. Kalau dia rasa mati akal, hilang punca sya lg teruk dri itu. Sya harap dia faham situasi sya skg, itu ja yg sya mau.

'Bell, I just want u to know. I am really sorry!' Kuat tu suara Don. Pdahal jarak kmi 5 langkah seja.

Palan2 air mata sya mengalir lg. Mcm mo ratus kali sdh sya dgr kata2 sorry Don. Hati sya tawar sdh. He never learn from his mistake.

Satu patah kata pun sya xckp sdh. Laju2 sya atur langkah naik atas. Apa pun yg Don ckp, hati sya seolah2 terkunci untk dia. Sya biar kemaafan yg dia pinta itu pending. I told him million times bfore, we never ever getting back together.

'We are not mean to be together in the first place, Don.' Sya bisik dlm hati. Sya pn xtau, knapa sya xmampu buka hati sya semula untk Don. Sesweet mana pun Don, I cant accept his feeling. Terlalu lewat, hati sya btl2 terkunci untk dia. Kunci dia sdh kana buang sana Jurang Mariana juah d dsr lautan Pasifik di Mindanao. Sampai bila2 pun inda buli bilang tu Mission Impossible III.
Now I have to find a way to win back Iam's heart. Sya fkr2 sdh mcm mana mau berhadapan dgn Iam. I nvr hate him, for what had happened. Kmi sama2 terluka, kalaulah dia masi rasa apa yg sya rasa..
Dan aku pun terlukaaa bilang tu lagu Sakura Band...

Salah sya juga, tertipu dgn lakonan terbaik Emily sprtimana juga Iam terpedaya dgn helah dia. She deserved as best actress award. Xdpt sya imagine kalau2 dorg sama2 lg balik. I feel my soul leaving my body.

'Please stay Iam, as u ask me to stay with u forever.' Sya nmpk Iam tersenyum penuh cinta dlm mimpi. He comes to get me back. Tidur sya dtemani lg dgn hujan air mata.

Night and the other night I was sleeping with broken heart!