Destiny

Mama Loves You, My Litte Boy!

Lonad sama Nani dluan sdh balik. Tggllah sya sdn bhd d ofis. Tunggu my <3 . After 10 minutes passed, sya dgr bunyi engine kereta sdh d luar. He is here!

Sya ambl beg sya then off semua tu lampu. Cepat2 sya keluar. Rindu!

Betul2 peluk tubuh sdh dia tunggu sya d luar. He really keep his words! Lepas lock ofis I run towards him. Dia kasi depa tgn dia sdh. I need hug too! Mcm yg satu tahun bah kmi xjumpa ni. Terlampau jiwang hahaha

We hug for few minutes. He kiss2 my forehead.
'My honey chubby sdh oh.' Nonsense! Bru smlm pn kmi jumpa.
'Biar betul.' Sya tepuk2 pp sya. Sya dongak tgk muka dia. Lebam d muka dia xjuga  teruk. Tepi bbr dia ja yg ketara btl. Pecah kan. I kissed evry inch of his face softly.
'Feeling even better?' Sya renung lg muka dia. I miss this man!
'Half2.' Sengaja btl mo minta lbh tu.
'Kenapa pula?' Pura2 sya pn mo tnya. Even i know i read his mind.
'I want more.' Kan betul..
'Shall we?' Sya paut leher dia.
'Lets do it.' Sya ketawa lg. Serious btl tu air muka dia.
'Lets go back. Owen is waiting us..' Sya kasi turun tgn sya dri lhr dia.
'...and our room.' Sempat dia bisik d tlnga sya. Yg plg palan.
'Buduh!' Sya p tmpr lengan dia. Terketawa terus dia.

Xpuas sya senyum. Dlm kereta pn masi senyum. Mr Liam genggam2 tgn sya smbl driving.

'Baby..' Atukoii Issabella..
'Yes honey..' Xdpt sya tahan ketawa oh. This is weird.
'Errr did Emily looking for u?' Tiba2 sya tnya bgtu. I am curious. Ingin tahu dan mahu peduli.
'Hurmmm..' Dia mengeluh panjang dlu.
'Ada kan?' Sya tingu muka dia.
'Ada jugalah, few times she called and texted me. But i dont k if there is no important issue to discuss.' Important issue to discuss?

Maybe about Owen. I know Mr Liam mau jaga hati sya also he trapped in that issue. Siapa juga mau kasi putus ikatan darah yg terjalin kalau bukan ats sebab keadaan yg rumit.

'Ohhh i see..' Sya angguk2 ja.
'Why? Did she came looking for u?' No! I cant tell him.
'Yes, i mean no.' Tersasul2 lg sya. She look for him and also warned me too. That wench!
'Thats good. Jgn layan sgt dia tu.' Mr Liam usap2 tgn sya.
'All right. Bagus sya lyn yg d sblh sya ni kn?'
'Even great, I agree 100%.' Dia senyum.
Our love is everywhere.

Mau2 gelap sdh kmi sampai rumah. Ganti shift sdh tu siang dgn malam. Jem betul, kalau drumah smpt lg kupi2. But I love that I can be alone with him, talking lovey dovey, smile and laugh together. Happy together.

'Bah jum.' Kami seiring sejalan melangkah masuk.

Sunyi ja tu rumah. Hnya yg kdgrn tu suara tv, Cantonese drama. Aunty Daisy yg membelakang menoleh. Terus dia berdri nmpk kmi.

'Hi aunty..' Kmi berpeluk smbl kiss pp.
'Good to see u Bella. I hope u doing fine. Sorry that i cant entertain u last night. And sorry about Emily too.' Aunty Daisy pigang2 tgn sya.
'Is ok aunty. I already forget it.' Sbnrnya x, tp xkn sya mau kasitau kan Emily p ofis lg. Nti tmbh tu kerisauan ni family. Bapa Mr Liam ni jarang memunculkn dri. Teda sya nmpk dia.
'Oh, Iam's dad went out to play golf with his frens.' Aikk campin oh aunty Daisy baca fikiran sya. Dia senyum2 nmpk sya mcm tercari2 org.
'Owen mana mum?' Mr Liam pn terjenguk2 juga. Mana budak tua tu bertapuk?
'Outside, d laman blkg sana tu. He said he want to be alone a while.' Aiseh as expected from an adult baby. I never heard kids could talk in mature way. Poor my little boy! He is desperate to grow up so fast.
'About to dark already, apalg Owen buat sana tu.' Suara Mr Liam sdkt tggi tp dlm nada yg terkandung keluhan berat. Siapa xrisau budak sekecil itu begitu mengerti dan berperasaan spt org dewasa?
'Bah mama, sya p tingu Owen dlu.' Mama?! Sya tersasul, xsempat sdh cancel. Mcm panas jugalah pp sya. Xtau Mr Liam perasan ka x..
'Sure, Bella. I think he will be happy to see u.' Kami berbalas senyum then sya p sana laman blkg, tmpt tu birthday party kana buat. Mr Liam ikut sya dri blkg.

Sya nmpk Owen sana ayunan duduk2. Sesekali dia pndg langit hitam then ayun2 palan2. He is wearing the rabbit sweater. Cumil! Sya nmpk tu telinga rabbit d hoddie goyang2 bila dia ayun2. He looks lonely and sad. Emo betul ni budak oh. Kalah2 org kociwa patah hati.

'Let me..' Sya pndg Mr Liam. I hope he understand wat I mean.
'Sure...' Dia angguk smbl tarik kpla sya dkt d bbr. He kiss my forehead gently. It was like 'u have my bless and love.'

Pelan2 sya jln p tmpt Owen. But in the end he noticed me. He jump down then look at me for a while then he just stand like the mannequin. After few second dia kuis2 tu rumput pakai kaki kanan dia. Dia tunduk ja. I bet he is hesitating and confuse. Sebak dada sya tingu dia bgtu.

No more mum screaming, no more run faster and a big hug for me with the sweet kiss. Every single things he used to do towards me totally gone.

Palan2 sya membongkok. Sya peluk Owen. My tears about to burst. He didnt cry or reject my hug.

'Is ok Owen. Mum is here. Mum always with Owen and love Owen so much than ur dad. That is mum's promise.' Sya usap2 blkg dia penuh kasih. More than ur dad? Itu ayat mcm xbuli pakai ja hahaha I love them both, no less but more.

Finally, he hug me back wit his tiny hand. Dia peluk leher sya erat. I can smell good things.
'Thank u Owen for believe in mum.' Sya hmpr2  xtahan sdh air mata sya.
'But mum, why I have two mum?' Yg ini sya xtau mcm mana mau kasi explain dia. Too complicated. He is too small to understand all this.
'Owen, listen to mum, ok?' Sya pigang bahu dia sdh. Dia angguk2 ja. Mcm yg sdia mendgr sdh penjelasan sya. For a second, sya toleh Mr Liam d blkg sya. Dia angguk2 ja.
'Mum..' I can see his curiosity in his face.
'Owen, she is ur real mum who bring Owen to this world. Mum never ever be Owen's real mum but mum can be a mother who love Owen as much as Owen need to. Always..' Sya usap2 kpla dia. Air mata sya merembes laju d pp. Sya xmampu tahan sdh. How if Owen just leave me after heard this? How if he cant accept the fact im not his real mother? His biological mother..

Sya tunduk. Berat hati sya mau berterus-terang tp sya xmau tipu Owen. He look for me but I dont know what he want from me. Patah hati sya lbh dri putus cinta kalo Owen kasi putus kasih syg kmi. Tolak point lg. Paras bahaya tu.

Tiba2, sya rasa kpla sya kana pigang. Owen! Dia kasi dongak kepala sya. Laju lg air mata sya jatuh. Stop it Issabella! Owen p lap2 pp sya dgn jari2 dia yg kici. Sya cuba untk senyum.

Sya peluk Owen lg. Haru biru lg jiwa sya. How I wish I am Owen real mother. How lucky u r Emily, having such a cute baby boy. How selfish u r leaving him like this.

'I wish mum is the one who delivered me in this world.' Bisikan kecil d telinga sya itu menusuk jauh ke dlm sanubari sya. How thankful I am. He is just a little kiddo but the way he think is no different as an adult.

Sumpah! Tiada niat sya mau rampas gelaran ibu kandung dari Emily. Sya hanya mau kasi pinjam ja kasih seorang ibu untk anak yg haus akn belaian ibu. Bukan slh ibu mengandung, salah ibu meninggalkan si kecil terkapai2 mcm sampan yg karam d lautan bergelora.

For sure, I dont want Owen forget a mother who delivered him into tis world in so much pain. I am not that greedy.

Emily, please be sincere if u still want to be remembered as a mother!