Khuda Rooh aur Khuwaish

Chapter 5

Kuch bhi tw nahi hai aaj mere pass. Na maa baap na koi bhi khushi. Khuda se maut bhi nhi mang sakti. Maut ke qabil hi nhi hoon mein. Kis moo se Khuda se maut ki dua mangoon. Kash woh ek pal ki khushi ke liye mainay apni zindagi barbad na ki hoti. Aaj mein tanha hoon, bohot tanha. Aaj mein jahan hoon wahan phool ki patiyaan bhi kantoon ki tarha chubti hain.

Mein poori poori raat roti rehti hoon. Meri zindagi mein ab sirf bohot se Kash hi baqi hain. Kash mainay woh sab na kiya hota.

"Baba apko pata hai aaj teacher ne mujhe class ka monitor bnaya. Unhone bola ke mein class ki sab se zyada responsible girl hoon"
"Very good very good!"

Baba meri har cheez ko hamesha aisay hi taal dete thay. Chahay woh mera 2 class mein monitor banna ho ya grade 9 mein apne school ki debate competiton ke winner hona ho.

Agar mein David se shadi na kerti tw kya kerti. Baba ko tw bus apna career banana tha. Aur mumma ko Best Bahu ka title jeetna tha. Baba America mein apne goals poray ker rhay thay aur mumma Karachi mein apne.

Apne college ke first day per mera David se introduction hoa tha. Woh mamool ke sab larko ki tarha tha. Us me koi khas bat nhi thi. Magar ahista ahista meri usse dosti hogyi. Na janay kab woh dosti mohobat mein tabdeel hogayi mujhe pata bhi na chala. Mein apne saath ghar mein honay wali har ziyatti usse share kerti thi, aur woh mujhe tasaliyaan deta. Mein usse confess nhi kersakti thi per mein janti thi ke woh bhi mujhse mohobat kerta hai. Mein janti thinke hamari society aur mazhab hamesha is rishte ko oppose kerain gay. Mein khud se bhi chupati thi apni mohobat.

Mein Urosa ke ghar reh rhi thi. Urosa ke husband mostly out of city hi rehte thay. Meri tabiyat theek nhi thi isliye Urosa mere saath hi sogayi thi.

"Babaaaa" Mein chilatay hoye nend se jag uthi.
"Humaima kya hoa? Tum theek ho?" Urosa ne pareshan ho ker pocha.
"Baba! Baba please mujhe maaf kerdein. Mein ap sab ki gunhagaar hoon"
"Yaar Humaima tum stress mat lo. Tumhari condition stress lene wali nhi hai."

Baba aap mujhe maaf kerdein. Mein marjana chahti hoon. Mein bohot thuk gayi hoon. Mein apke pass ana chahti hoon. Mein apse galay lag ker rona chahti hoon. Ap chahay tw mujhe maray ga dantain ga dhakay de de ga. Magar please mujhe apne pass anay dein. Mujhe apna lein ek bar phir. Mein apki gunhagaar hoon Baba. Mein apki gunhagaar hoon ammi. Mein David ki bhi gunhagaar hoon. Ya Allah! Kya yeh sab mujhe kabhi bhi maaf kerain gay?

"Humaima kahan se arhi ho tum itni raat mein?" Baba ne mujhse us raat pocha jab mein David se Nikah ker ke akhiri dafa ghar arahi thi. Sirf apna samaan lene.
Tab Baba ne bohot mayusi se kaha tha.
"Insan jab munaqfat ki seerihaan cherhna shuro kerdeta hai tw usse jhoot ki adat hojati hai."

Mein us waqt itna sharminda thi ke kuch bol hi na saki. Lekin us waqt mujhe sirf apni mohobat ki perwah thi. Kash Baba mujhe bachpan se aise hi samjhatay takay mein kabhi aisa qadam na uthati.

Raat ko bhi mein sakoon se nhi so saki. Baba ki awaaz mere kanoon mein goonj rhi thi. Baba ka kehna ke "Dafa hojao mere ghar se. Get lost Humaima."
"Get lost Humaima"
"I said get lost."

*Assalam O Aliakum!!!
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Jazak Allah*