Stay ◇Karamel◇

31. guilt attack

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Mon-El opens the door for me. He extends his arm in a welcoming matter, as if he was presenting my apartment to me. I smiled happily as I stumbled inside.

"Home sweet home," I exclaimed. I sprinted towards me couch and jumped on it. I winced as I landed on it. Mon-El laughed from behind me. He dropped my bag, which was slung over his shoulder, on the floor next to the dining room table.

He then collapsed next to me. Mon-El pulled me into his side. I laughed, wrapping my arms around his waist. I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Mm," Mon-El hummed. "This is nice."

"Do you hear that?" I questioned. He widened his eyes and looked up.

"Is someone in trouble?" Mon-El asked. "I don't have super hearing--"

"No, no," I laughed. "It's quiet. There are no emergencies."

"For once," He adds.

Things fell silent in between us. I slowly closed my eyes, breathing in the fresh air. I was slowly gaining my powers back. I had my strength, and I wasn't tired. There weren't any emergencies to tend to, so I wasn't complaining. Mon-El was keeping me company.

I had been released from the DEO a few hours ago. I was originally going to stay with Alex, but Mon-El offered to take care of me at home. I'd assumed Maggie was going to stay over at her apartment, because she was extra giddy this morning.

"Do you think it's because of Cadmus?" I asked. "Everything is so quiet...because Cadmus is over?"

"It's probably a factor," Mon-El sighs. "But I don't think random robbers take a break from stealing money because a secret alien hating agency is disbanded. It's just a peaceful day in National City."

"It's never peaceful," I admit.

There was another comfortable silence. I was hesitant about what I was about to say. It'd been bottled up inside of me for a few days. A fresh pile of guilt gathered in my stomach. I shifted so that I could face him.

"What's wrong?" He says automatically. "You're crinkling."

I smiled softly to myself, rubbing the area on my forehead where I was supposedly crinkling. I then faced him, sitting with my legs crossed.

"I feel.. guilty," I whisper. "Someone died because of me."

"Who?" Mon-El asked.

"Lilian," I murmured. He sighed, taking my hands in his own.

"Kara," He muttered. "It's not your fault that Lilian died. She did that herself. She deserved it."

"No one deserves to die," I argue. "Yes, she was evil. But she wasn't supposed to die."

"Hey, hey," He soothed me. Mon-El's thumb was rubbing circles on the back of my hand. "It wasn't your fault. She made her own decision. There was nothing any of us could've done." I nodded.

"Thank you," I gulped. "For being there for me these past few weeks. It's been crazy as hell, and you've stuck by me through it all."

"I always will," Mon-El assures me. "You're...you're my best friend. My other half. I couldn't live without you, even if I tried." I smiled at him.

"I can't lose you either," I replied. "You're a light in the dark for me. Whenever I'm feeling down, and not even Alex can cheer me up, you're there for me."

"That's what boyfriends are for," He jokes.

"You are the best boyfriend ever." I rolled my eyes. "I don't think anyone else could handle my heroic drama."

"But that's the thing," Mon-El starts. "You always save the day. You do everything for everyone else, and I want to be the person to do things for you."

I reached up and pulled him towards me. I brought my lips to his. He rubbed his hands across my back. A shiver went up my spine.

I caressed my hands through his hair, messing up the strands. To be honest, I love his hair. It's very fluffy.

I sound like a four year old girl.

But I felt his lips turn into a smile as I played with his brown locks. We slowly pulled apart, and Mon-El moved his hand up to his hair. He held his hand on top of mine, and we stared at one another.

"You're so special," He whispered. I smiled at him.

There was another moment of silence, both our hands on his head. Mon-El's fingers intertwined with mine.

"You need to get some rest," He stated. "I'll get you a pillow and blanket, and you can rest here on the couch."

"Will you stay with me?" I mutter. Mon-El smiled softly, and nodded.

He ran towards my bed, grabbing his pillow and mine. Mon-El grabbed a throw blanket, and made his way towards me. He climbed on to the couch, setting down the pillow against the arm of the chair. I leaned down against it.

Mon-El moved behind me, and wrapped his arms around my abdomen. I sighed, and slowly closed my eyes.

I began to drift off into a sleep, my body in a peaceful warm feeling. Mon-El's grip remained strong around me. It felt nice.

I could've sworn I heard him whisper, "I love you."

But I knew he didn't.