A Million Voices [UsUk]

Mistakes

Several hours later

„Well, look who's happy again!" Gilbert grinned and said loudly in a drunken slur as he looked over to Alfred who seemed to be having the time of his life. He had already had 3 bottles of beer, and the amount of alcohol Mathias had supplied for them was incredible.

The Dane has already turned to vodka shots, while Gilbert and Alfred were maliciously drinking their asses off with German beer.

„Of course I'm happy! Why wouldn't I be? Screw everything, let's fucking party!" Alfred said with a smirk and shouted the last part. The movie that Gilbert had chosen had stopped playing in the background, but nobody payed attention to it since the German, the Dane and the American were too focused on drinking. Which was completely fine with all of them.

„I think I might throw up..." Mathias said in between a hiccup.

„Really, Matt? A real awesome Prussian like me can handle this much!" Gilbert winked with a grin. He liked to call himself Prussian even though the country ceased to exist around 70 years ago.

„Did I hear Prussia?" Alfred said. „Man, you must be drunk out of your mind! That doesn't exist anymore!"
Gilbert felt a little offended, but was too stoned to care anymore. „You're right, Al, it doesn't", he broke into laughter, „but neither do our brains but we still try to use them."

After that, they all started laughing loudly and told each other more jokes, until they were pretty sure standing up was too difficult to handle.

„Let's have another round tonight!" Alfred cheered, and Mathias smirked at him with an eye roll.

„Even when drunk, you don't forget about that musical."

„What musical?"

„Okay, so you're drunk."

And they all laughed again.

It's known that Alfred really loved Hamilton, the American musical, and actually quoted it quite a lot... especially when he was drunk. Arthur wasn't too fond of it, but he still let the American listen to it on CD whenever he wanted.

If it's quiet enough, that is.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Arthur didn't seem to remember anything. He must have passed out, that was definitely the story behind this.

When he finally woke up, he found himself on the bathroom floor, a complete broken mess, and still feeling dizzy.

It was like the voices in his head were screaming like an angry banshee choir, but he never believed in mythical creatures like that.

Though he did question their existence sometimes.

With a small, hoarse cough, he got up from the floor really slowly so he wouldn't fall back, and he used the sink to help himself a little.

„I'm so fucking useless..." He muttered himself as he finally got back up to his feet.

„Why... why... d-do I let this happen every time...?" He brokenly said with a sigh, and noticed that he was crying when he looked at himself in the mirror, and he began crying again just of the sight of such a broken state he was in.

„A broken mess..." He mumbled inaudibly and tried to stop himself from crying ever more, which resulted in sobbing a bit louder.

His emerald green eyes looked as if they were grey and blurry, his blonde hair darkened of how damp it was from everything, from sweat and tears... and he just wanted to end it all right on the spot.

„Alfred offers me his help... He tries to help me every day... But I... I still let myself and him down like this..." He kept silently muttering to himself. „What if he never comes home...?"

Oh god. What if Alfred doesn't want to see me?

Now that thought was what got him crying even more than he had cried before, almost ending up on the floor, but instead he turned and buried his face in a pile of clothes (dirty clothes or not, well, that wasn't really his concern at the moment).

A-am I just too weak to end it all...?

He thought bitterly to himself as he ended up back on the floor again, crying and sobbing harshly, not caring how loudly since he was home alone anyway or the other.

If Alfred doesn't get back home... I'm doing this. It shouldn't be so hard, should it...? To end my own life?

The thought made him shiver as never before, and then he blacked out again for a brief moment.

Why was this happening to him?

Surely a person like that wasn't meant for the world...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mathias and Gilbert had passed out a few hours after their drinking spree, at least they were both on the couch so Alfred didn't have to carry any of them to the bed or so.

Dammit. I guess I'm the most sober of us... He thought to himself as he stood up shakily, almost stumbling back down. Alfred felt a strong headache incoming, which he knew was most probably going to happen, but he just wanted to drink to forget some things on a while.

But it, apparently, doesn't quite work like that.

A couple of minutes after he had gotten off of the couch, he felt all his worries come back in a whirl, making the headache much stronger in a matter of moments.

„I knew I shouldn't have listened to Matt and Gil..." He quietly whispered and decided to sneak out before any of them got their conscience back.

„Am I even able to get back home, dammit...?" He murmured and tried to prevent a hiccup, victoriously smirking after he did, and then opened the door of Mathias' house gently, almost inaudibly.

Stepping outside, the sunshine blinded him for a moment, making him close to throwing up, but he refrained from that as much as he could.

He closed the door behind himself, and looked around, squinting while he did because the sunlight bothered him on a critical level by now.

Alfred sighed before placing his hands in his trousers' pockets, deciding to take it step by step and go home in the, of course, right direction.

„Oh, Artie, I hope you're fine." He said to himself softly, the thought of seeing Arthur again made him smile a little.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A/N

Last chapter for the day! This one was a little more difficult to write, seemingly emotional at the part with Arthur. But I hope you liked it either way.

The line "like an angry banshee choir" is from my favourite song, French Perfume.

And yeah, Alfred loves Hamilton! He's as hamiltrash as me, tbh X3

Thanks for reading!