A Player Felt Love (A Justin Bieber Fanfiction)

Chapter 46: Sufferings

How's the new cover, guys? :D Credits to @KaleTheQueen for her amazing arts and editing skills and making it for me! She's epic at this shit <3

Okay, so you guys got some notifications saying that I update. Well, I did but Wattpad kept erasing half of the chapter -.- So, I had to delete it multiple times. I am so sorry for everyone whos stomaches errupted with butterflies and were then killed. Shooryy :3 Fogive meh? :D I finally updated, yeah?

OHMAGAWD! Guys, we have an A Player Felt love family member on wattpad @TymbarkBear and on twitter @JustynaRAWR and OHMAGAWD! She made a fanart for this story which is at the side ------> and I AM FANGIRLING! One HELL of an epic fanart. She chose the quotations from Chapter 32: Waiting For So Long (page 2) GO GO GO! LOOK AT IT! :D Hence, the dedication goes to her. ^.^ @TymbarkBear

I read all your comments and you know what? You're right! It should be illegal of me leaving you at such cliffhangers :D So, I shall get arrested at the end of this chapter as well xD

Read on, you'll understand.

Btw, your comments are MUCH appreciated and loved :') my Wattpad family's ZE BEST!

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(Justin's P.O.V)

"I'll be right back, guys." Hareem excused herself before stepping out of the room to talk on her phone.
"I hope she gets better. It's so hard seeing her in such a state." she repeatedly said, her tone filled with cracks caused by her sobs as she caressed mom's hair and stared at her face. Femke was always a sensitive person but I was still shocked seeing her cry. She was crying for a family member of mine. It startled me a bit and at the same time brought a feeling of care in me. Someone actually cared.
Femke turned around to look where Hareem went and caught a glimpse of me which made her turn in my direction. A look of pity as well as discomfort in her eyes made me look down. She was the kind of girl that just by getting near her, I'd have this killing amount of guilt in me. I couldn't look straight in her eyes. I couldn't face her. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for her to yell all kinds of mean things at me no matter how much I deserved it. I wasn't ready for her to look at me as if she had seen a ghost. As if I was some stranger. And I definitely wasn't ready for her to tell me it's over. To leave me. That was the point that I wouldn't be able to bear another thing in the world. That would mean I lost everything.
"Justin, I'm so sorry about your mom." Vanessa sighed, turning to me with a frown on her face. "We'll pray for her. We still are."
"Yeah, we'll be here if you need anything, man." George inquired, pressing his lips and giving me a small nod which I returned with a nod of my own head. I didn't know how to reply to them. I didn't know what to say. This was the same feeling I had before talking to Hareem but we managed to get along with it as I opened up later. So, I just needed to communicate. But that was the problem. I was being so self-conscious. I was being as sure as I could of each and every single word of mine. It needed to go right this time.
"Thank you so much. Means a lot coming from you guys." I managed to crack a smile through my tear filled eyes.
"It's our pleasure." George came closer and latched an arm around my shoulders, comforting me a bit as Vanessa smiled at us. It was a weird feeling because this was George being this nice to me. The guy who hated my guts just a while ago.
I got a glimpse of a smile on Femke's face. I could only see her side pose but was sure I caught a small curve on her lips which made me smile on my own. That must be because of the fact that her friends were getting along with me. She always wanted that.
"Femke," Hareem stepped inside the room, a look of fear and defeat in her eyes.
"What is it?" Femke asked, getting up. "Did they say anything?" I gazed at Hareem and then at Femke. What was going on?
"Yes," Hareem sighed, shaking her head and looking around while running her hand through her hair. "They're doing it. They're taking over that place and they're not backing out. We're losing." her voice was low. I saw how everyone's expressions turned into a look of horror.
"Fuck," George cursed under his breath. Vanessa shook her head in disbelief and looked at Femke who had started crying now. Her head in her hands as she sat back in her chair, tangling her fingers in her hair.
"No," Femke whispered. "No, this can't be."
"I'm so sorry."
"Can't we do anything?" she raised her voice at Hareem. Hareem's face fell and she looked at George.
"Femke, we're trying our level best-"
"No, you're not! I doubt any of you are even with me in this because you're all so cool about it! You don't seem to have a problem with any of this!"
"Femke," George said sternly. "You know very well how much we're in this with you."
"Oh really? Doesn't look like it."
"Femke, my parents talked to them. We really are trying hard." Hareem replied.
"Yeah, I think we're the last people that you should be doubting right now." Vanessa added. Femke sighed heavily. Her breaths coming out after gaps because she was sobbing.
"I didn't even get to see them properly and now- now this?" she whispered, crying softly in her hands. Hareem walked up to her and brought her in a comforting hug which gave me a good feeling.
"Femke, we're not going to let them win so easily. We didn't protest in the first place to let them win. We are going to win, I promise." George walked towards her as Hareem broke the embrace. Vanessa wiped a few tears off Femke's face and smiled.
"Yeah, you can count on us. You need to." she said. Femke slowly nodded.
"I'm so sorry, guys. I'm just so stressed out." she apologized.
"No need. We're going to work this out, alright?" Hareem smiled at Femke.
"Yeah." she replied with a smile.
Meanwhile I stood there, watching the scene. I didn't understand one word. What was all this about? Taking over which place? Was I even a part of this conversation? I really needed to know about all this.
"Excuse me," we were interrupted by the door opening and a nurse walking in. "The patient needs to be alone, she needs rest."
"Oh, yes of course. C'mon guys." George cocked his head towards the door and we all walked out, following him.
When we were outside, I walked towards George.
"George?" I asked. He turned around and saw me, smiling a bit and nodding his head to ask me what I wanted. "Can we talk? Alone?"
"Sure, about what?" he questioned when we walked towards the end of the corridor.
"About whatever happened inside. I want to know what it was all about. If there's any way I can help-"
"Justin, seriously no. There's no need. We got this. We can handle it and it's not much of a big problem."
"Are you sure? Because back inside, you didn't seem to be sure of what you were saying." I said, wrapping my arms over my chest and smiling at how stupid he looked while trying to cover up his tension. Trying to seem as if it was all cool. It was all fake.
"I'm sorry, man. But I can't tell you. It's Femke's personal problem and if she's okay with me telling you, then I will. Why don't you ask her yourself?"
"George, you know she won't- the fuck?" my eyes widened when I noticed someone entering the hall behind George. George, confused, followed my gaze and came in contact with him.
Jeremy.
"Who- who's he?" he asked, turning back to me.
"The last person I wanted to see right now." I said through gritted teeth. But a hand on my shoulder comforted me.
"Justin," she whispered, it was Femke. I turned around and looked at her from Jeremy. "Justin, you're not doing anything stupid here." she said. I turned to look at Jeremy again. He looked tensed. Good, he deserved it. "Justin, look at me." Femke demanded but I didn't. I was too busy giving death glares to Jeremy before attacking on him. "Look at me, Justin. You're not taking any more risks, you hear me?"
"How does he even have the fucking balls of showing up?" I grew angrier by each passing second but somehow, Femke succeeded in calming me a bit.
"Stop that. Look at me." this time, she used her hand on cup my chin and turned me around so I was looking in her eyes. "Calm down. You're already dealing with a lot of shit here. Do you want your mom to be more upset when she wakes up? Just cool down right now, please. We're here for you. Don't let one man piss you off just like that. You got a lot of other people who care about you. You have got to be strong."
And it was her kindness and gentleness that made my strong figure slightly break. I knew how much hard it was to give me comfort when I knew she was suffering a lot in her life too and majority of her sufferings were because of me. Still, her being this supportive of me. "You're already dealing with a lot of crap right now, Justin." she whispered. Her eyes gazing into mine as her hands grabbed my shoulders in attempt to get me to listen to her.
Her voice, her eyes, her words, her care. Every part of her made me break more and more by each passing second. I ruined her life as well as my own. I used her, I played with her heart, I left her when she needed me the most, I doubted her when I was the only one she ever counted on and trusted. I let her suffer through enormous shits, dealing with Anthony, my absence at this stage of her life and as well as her parents death. I didn't deserve her. I didn't deserve even an inch of her kindness. I didn't deserve to listen to her voice, not even the kind gestures she was giving me. And every time she showed she cared, I would crush even more.
I realised I had been staring at her for quite a while now, and all it did was just tear me down.
My strong figure completely crushed into pieces as I shut my eyes, letting all the welled up tears escape in a rush as a few sobs escaped my lips. "P-Please help me." I begged in a cracking whisper.
The next thing I felt was a pair of two hands around my shoulders and her body pressing against mine and I quickly rested my head on her shoulder with my arms wrapping tightly around her waist for a sense of comfort. She ran her fingers across my hair, breathing silently against me. Just feeling and listening to her breathe was bringing me such peace.
"I'm always here to help you." she whispered and my grip around her waist tightened as I cried harder on her shoulder.

How could someone care so much?